Posted on July 31, 2015 by betsylerner
When everyone is going to the beach, kayaking on the lake, playing croquet on the lawn, I expect all of you to be sweating your balls off at your desk every day for at least, at least, two hours. Get up at five, make a pot of coffee and hit it. Turn off your email. Turn off your internet. Get a pad to note the things you need to look up. Do not come here because that’s what I’m doing for the month. I’m finishing a new book and I’m putting blinders on. I’m not going to Lena’s for lunch with my friends, I’m not weeding, I’m not smoking weed, I’m not going to UPS, the cleaner, or Walgreens for a shopping spree. My office is beginning to smell. The garbage can is a sculpture worthy of the Whitney. There are piles of paper everywhere and I can put my finger on any notebook and find what I’m looking for and be surprised at the same time. I’ve been writing since I was eight. This is the first time I feel vaguely confident. And for that I am reasonably certain that god will strike me dead.
Whenever you like, check in here and tell us about your progress or lack. Just keep writing and I’ll be back Sept. 1. Thanks to all you old friends for stopping in again. xo, Betsy
Filed under: Uncategorized | 33 Comments »
Posted on July 30, 2015 by betsylerner
Doing a double-header tonight. Watching The Wire and trying to dig out of the endless well of e-mail. I’m not going to start a screed 
against email because I’d rather write to almost anyone instead of talk on the phone. Plus, email has elevated voice mail. WHen you call someone now, it’s serious shit.
What do you think of the Jimmy McNulty montage? The many faces of McNulty. Jimmy!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Apple, Email, Laptop, McNulty, The Wire, TV | 13 Comments »
Posted on July 29, 2015 by betsylerner
I am really tired of crappy titles. Of douchy titles, generic titles, copycat titles, titles that wouldn’t hurt a fly, titles that don’t cut the line. And I’m really really tired of sub-titles The life and times. The rise and fall. THe extraordinary journey of an earthworm. Please don’t tell me, even if you believe it, that titles don’t matter. Don’t send in a book with a place holder. A title has a lot of work to do. A lot. It has to grab you. I has to sound good. It has to be descriptive. It should be evocative. It has to be memorable. ANd the more you read the book, the more the title makes sense. You might even find out, while you’re reading, where the title comes from and that’s always sweet. World, please stop making bad douchy titles.
Tonight is a workshop for anyone who needs help with a title. Pitch your titles or titles in progress and see how people respond. The big question: would you pick it up based on the title.
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Posted on July 29, 2015 by betsylerner
What do shrinks and agents have in common?
AUGUST!!!
Guys, when I was a baby editor, I had lunch with a big deal agent. It was July and though she was sitting at table with me, she had already checked out. In our pathetic attempt to make conversation, she asked what I was doing for the summer. I was making 22K; I was picking my nose for the summer. I asked if she was taking a vacation. I have never forgotten her response, “Any agent worth her salt takes August off.”
This may seem random, but when did Jennifer Garner become a shill for Capital One?
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Posted on July 27, 2015 by betsylerner
When do you take revision too far? When does your work start unraveling? When does writing become finger painting? Some people feel that revision is where the “real” work of writing gets done. Maybe. But there’s nothing like cracking a new piece of work out of your ass. Here’s my advice: Get lots of rest. Drink lots of water. Clear your desk. Trust your editor or readers. Keep a separate document for sentences you delete. I call mine: fragments. Do you have to kill your darlings? Execution-style.
Revision advice? Anyone?
Filed under: REvision, Writing | 16 Comments »
Posted on July 24, 2015 by betsylerner
THIS ONE
Starting Season 3 tonight. Possible double header. How did it come to this: looking forward to a TV series (albeit a great fucking one) and a 100 calorie skinny cow pop.
Husband: Is there anything you want from the store.
Wife: Those Skinny Cow pops for the one hundred calories. DOn’t bring home the sandwiches or the cones, they’re like 150 calories!!!!!
Husband: Okay, I’ll try to find them.
Here I am in fucking limbo. Will he find the pops? Will he get the wrong ones? Will McNulty shag the Prosecutor? Will David Simon step out from behind the curtain and put a single bullet in my head?
Peace and Love, Have a great weekend. Betsy
p.s. what does Friday night look like in your part?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Calories, Skinny Cow, The Wire | 17 Comments »
Posted on July 23, 2015 by betsylerner
Yesterday, on the way back to my office after a lovely lunch with one of my favorite editors, I saw a young woman waving a clipboard. We made eye contact and she had a big smile. “Shit,” I thought. I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to hear about saving whales, the environment, supporting NPR, Planned Parenthood, etc. I want to get back to my office and do more email. As I got closer, she took a few steps closer to me and started her pitch. And I went down. I don’t know if I tripped, or caught my sandal on something, or blacked out, or was abducted, but I went right down the sidewalk on my hands and knees.
I’m writing from my tv room watching the season 2 finale. My foot elevated, my big toe iced. Do you believe in karma?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: editor, Karma, lunch, save the whales, The Wire | 16 Comments »
Posted on July 21, 2015 by betsylerner
First of all, to all you daisies still out there: thanks for the warm welcome back. I luff you. I lerve you. I love you. I wanted to post last night but I went for the third episode of THE WIRE. Although one of the benefits of the THE WIRE is that you can do some emailing while watching when the verisimilitude goes deep and it’s boring for 5-7 minutes. Another thing: i have three seasons to go and I’m already feeling sad about it ending. Lerner, living in the future living in the past. Also, let’s talk about insomnia. Me=Benadryl.
How do you get to sleep?
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Posted on July 19, 2015 by betsylerner
Two-episode night. McNulty fucks two prostitutes while on the job. There’s a flow chart of criminals that resembles my bulletin board except I’m looking for narrative, structure, plot points. Let’s talk about index cards: salvation or desperation. When I put my poetry MFA manuscript together, I put all my poems on the floor and circled them a hundred times, ordering and reordering. I had a green kimono and a pack of Marlboro Lights. I was twenty four. Smart and stupid. In love with line breaks. Great to see all of you.
When I meet writers now some ask me if I’m still writing poetry. Stopped trying. Gave it up. Lost it. What about you?
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Posted on July 18, 2015 by betsylerner
Season 2, episode 8, I am neck deep into the Wire. I’m in love with the characters. I’m in love with the writing. David Simon, will you marry me? My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds That rise from the lake to the trees. I wrote four screenplays. I have to write forty. Four hundred. I have to ride shotgun. I have to keep my head down. McNulty is on a bender, fucking a waitress believably, crashing his car. The best lines are the throwaway lines. The string on the detective’s readers. THe Honeywell. The ceiling fan. The mole on the chin of a working stiff.
Anybody home?
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Betsy Lerner 