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Ten Minutes Ago I Saw Her

For me, this year’s Oscar goes to Jennifer Lawrence for Winter’s Bone, for Katniss, and for this gorgeous Cinderella moment climbing the silver and black lacquer stairs to collect her award. Friends, I tripped climbing the bima for my Bat Mitzvah, only I was wearing a blue and white gingham dress with smocking and white high heel clogs. Hence, writing. Please, if you have your speech prepared, share it here. Love, Betsy
85th Annual Academy Awards - Show

21 Responses

  1. I do so love the metaphor of falling and then rising. It seems like it’s been the meaning of my life, fortunately or unfortunately.

    My speech has been written for years, but this time around, I have no speech. Made me a little sad, but not terribly. Accept, accept, accept, whatever life presents.

    I’m trying.

  2. That is a gorgeous photo. Seriously. If I’d tripped, I’d be flat on my back, looking like Mad Madame Mim.

    Speech? “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to exhibit grace under pressure, and to be elegant even when I act like a mere mortal. Thank you.”

  3. I totally agree. What a lovely woman. My heart went out to her when she stumbled on the stairs. I was somewhat appalled though that no one came to her aid immediately. However, she recovered beautifully, so kudos to the lady in white ( or pale pink…hard to tell).

  4. If I fell going up to collect my Oscar, I’d use the alternate open lines:

    “Oh, my God, does this mean I have to pay for the dress? Wait a minute—designers don’t comp writers. Never mind. I’d like to thank Betsy Lerner, without whom I wouldn’t have been prepared for this moment, or rather, that moment just then. . .”

  5. My speech will begin with the truth: “Usually I watch this at home in bed with Ben and Jerry…”
    Love JLaw for those same movies and moments. Love Betsy for writing and giving voice to the writers.

  6. Please everyone; take your seats, thank you for such a wonderful standing ovation. I’ve dreamed about this moment an awful long time, like for my entire life actually.
    First of all I would like to thank God-Almighty and the Academy, not necessarily in that order.
    Secondly, I am forever grateful to Weight Watchers and Spanx for helping me get into this dress and Hoveround for getting me to my seat. Thank you to the makers of my Hurry Cane so I may hold my statue and not have my cane fall down. Last but not least my deepest gratitude to Polident for my beautiful smile and oh my, I almost forgot to thank the wonderful people who made my one and only Facelift Bungee. Thank you all.

    And to think, I wouldn’t live long enough to actually make my speech. Thanks Betsy.

  7. Yes, Winter’s Bone–amazing. Although I liked SLPB as well. That picture of her on the stairs is gorgeous…I hope she sees it that way as well.

    Husband, kids, family, agent, editor…and I’d like to thank the psychic who told me when I was sixteen that she saw something…like pressing piano keys with my fingers–never mind the fact it took me nineteen years to figure out that what she saw were my fingers were typing.

    • Funny! reminds me of the psychic I saw when I was 22: bent my fingers back and said I was flexible in mind, body, and spirit.

  8. Award goes to Jennifer for keeping it ‘Real.’ God and Jesus crept out sideways, but she kept it going forward and hey men, what a beautiful moment for women actors. Bravo on answering those ridiculous reporters afterward.

  9. What do you do when the thing you least expect to happen, happens? When the very thing you don’t want to happen, happens? What she did. Standing ovation in my living room, and not b/c she tripped, but b/c she maintained her poise, and she went on to remember her competition. So impressed with her. I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up, much less talk.

    Her speech: “Can I just go ahead and blame the three shots of Grey Goose for my little f up? Oh, this is really live? You can’t bleep me? Oops. Well. That’s worse than the fall now, isn’t it?”

    My speech: (first, wave my hand around dismissively) Hey, no biggee! I knew I was going to trip since my foot was in my mouth, and pretty much has been since birth. That’s why I write instead of giving speeches. (walks off stage – thank you’s forgotten)

  10. I wonder if someone has a list of cutest oscar flubs and if there was an award we could give for the best every five years.

  11. winter’s bone is the only thing i’ve seen her in and hers was a good performance in a good film.

    okay, here’s my speech. this is from a long time ago. “thanks, teach, for giving me this year’s outstanding drama student award and i wish you’d a-let me know you were going to do this and i’d have to come up here on this stage in front of the whole school cuzz if you had i wouldn’t a-smoked three joints before the awards assembly and now i–it’s just–there’s, there’s…what?,” freeze a moment, blush like a virgin, lurch off stage left.

  12. The reachable, touchable grace of that Jennifer Lawrence. Bringing humanity to that oft-maligned stage.

    I have no idea what I’d say if I ever won anything. And if I tripped on the way up, I’d be more stepsister than Cinderella in my awkward denial. I hate to be judged more than I hate just about anything, so I’m happy to sit in my cave with my words.

  13. I’ve been known to come bombing down the stairs on my arse at the most inpportune time (It never happens when I’m not at a party), but I will never cringe quite so strongly again. My speech: At least a boob didn’t pop. Thank you to my stylist for the clever corset of duct tape.

  14. I wrote an entire blog post last year about my Oscar acceptance speech, and am still waiting for the opportunity to use it. I suppose it might help if I first finished a freaking screenplay. And if you didn’t already love Jennifer Lawrence, this should clinch it: http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2013/02/jennifer-lawrence-oscars-jack-nicholson-best-actress

  15. Holding my hand to my bosom (which is held upright by a sequin and diamond strapless dress some IT designer has thrust upon me), I am steadfast, “Thank you. Really, thank you.” Then, after the slightest pause I say, “In the words of Ben Affleck, ‘You can’t hold grudges. It’s hard. And it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life, ’cause that’s gonna happen. All that matters is that you gotta get up.” Oh, and somewhere in there I’ll cry.

  16. My speech:

    “I was hoping for the National Book Award, but fuck it. This’ll do. Morgan Freeman, where are you? Let’s get drunk. You do the talking.”

  17. Righteous idignant idiot that I am, I’d send a niece of Satcheen Littlefeather to do the falling for me, but if I did go I would embarrass all who know and love me by railing against the self serving movie industry (and society in general) for wasting money on extravagant pomp and pagentry when just down the road people are starving and could live comfortably for a year on what Jennifer Lawrence’s dress alone cost. Blah blah blah. As with family gatherings and fondue parties, I’d not be invited back again.

  18. I should only look as good when I’m standing up as she does when falling down. What elegance.

  19. My favorite part is the shadow of Hugh Jackman’s hand on her skirt as he rushes gallantly to her aid. Swoon.

  20. For me this year’s Oscars were all about wizard hair. When I read about the trend the next day in The Daily Beast, I immediately identified. Without L’Oreal 5G, Aveda Control and sponge rollers, I am one bobby pin away from being the fright wigged love child of Per Hallberg and Claudio Miranda.

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