Betsy Lerner

That’s Me In the Corner

Posted on February 22, 2010 by betsylerner

I realized today that I have become something I hate: a dilettante. A dabbler. A jack-off of all trades. I have a screenplay blocked out that I can’t seem to kick into second. I have a tv writing partner and we are on a highway to hell. I have Neeps, or The Marriage of Parsnip and Potato in a notebook, I have an abandoned memoir, The Potter’s Apprentice. I have…bupkus.

I have always believed that if you want to get something done you have to put blinders on. You have to work at that one thing and that one thing alone. Your focus needs to take on the qualities of a heat-seeking missile. What the fuck has happened to me? Besides this blog? Ha ha ha.

I am going to quiz my daughter on tectonic plates right now. Perhaps when I come back, something will shift. Until then, I’d love to hear some motivational stories of accomplishment and glory through focus, will and determination. Though stories of utter disgust and abject failure always welcome.

Filed under: Writing | 31 Comments »

Dedicated To The One I Love

Posted on February 21, 2010 by betsylerner

I have been trying to figure out who wrote the first book dedication for some time. It does seem to be a contemporary practice. I prefer books that don’t have dedications. It’s like a big fuck you that I can really get behind. It’s like: I’m an artist, this is my book, it isn’t for anyone, no one helped me or inspired me; it isn’t apologetic, grateful, beholden or indebted. It just is.

That said, I included dedications in my two books. I dedicated The Forest for the Trees to my authors. Aw. And I dedicated Food and Loathing to John. My pimp.

Since I still don’t have a bookcase, I picked up a pile of books off the floor and these are the dedications:

HOUSEKEEPING: “For my husband, and for James and Joseph, Jody and Joel, four wonderful boys.” Not my business, but what’s up with giving kids names that all start with the same initial? I guess it’s easier to sort the monogrammed towels.

THE END OF THE AFFAIR: To C. (End?)

LORD OF THE FLIES: For my mother and father (This is the single most popular dedication as far as I can tell. Weird, since most writers hate their parents or feel stifled by them.)

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A FACE: For my friends, whom I love

BLOOD ON THE MOON: In Memory of Kenneth Millar (1915-1983) Dedications to lost friends and loves always move me. You’re not going to get any credit from the person, so it’s really pure, a salute.

THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE: Offered This Day with gratitude to KSF (I can never find fault with John Hodgman, even for this hyper-formal and too-studied dedication.)

EVIL TWINS: Chilling True Stories of Twins, Killing and Insanity: For Audrey and Mavis Hirschberg: my own identical twin cousins. (I know.)

Last, I can’t find the book, but I believe the poet Charles Simic dedicated one of his poetry collections “To Her” because it wasn’t clear whether she would be the same woman from the time he started the book to when he published it. If that is erroneous, my apologies. If it’s true: dude!

I would love to know what you think of dedications, if you have any good ones to share from books of your own: either published or planned.

Filed under: Uncategorized | 28 Comments »

Faces Come Out of the Rain

Posted on February 19, 2010 by betsylerner

Betsy:

I have searched and googled and read and hunted. Is it better to
finish a memoir before querying? I have read that you MUST finish it,
I have read that it is better to propose and write after the book has
sold or at least the agent is on board to help shape the focus. What
do you prefer? Do you think most editors and agents are on the same
page?

Thank you!

Dear James Frey:

This is an excellent question. And agents have differing opinions here. Generally, what I prefer is to give the publishers roughly 75 pages and a synopsis. I only do this, however, if the pages kill it and the author has some literary credentials such as prizes, publications, or is involved in some kind of literary world like Moth or, you know, has some following, maybe a popular blog, is a regular guest on This American Life, or has done something extraordinary that has garnered attention in the media. If the writer has nothing to help promote him or herself, then I suggest writing the entire book. As with a first novel, a memoir has to prove itself from beginning to end. There are always exceptions and different kinds of memoirs. And a selling strategy would have to take all of that into account.

Another great way to sell a memoir is off of a magazine piece. The first memoir I ever acquired when I was an editor was based on a Harper’s Magazine article. The agent submitted the article and a few more pages. Done. The next memoir I acquired was off a 30 or so page proposal. Later, when the writer was struggling with the book, I discovered that she had more than 800 of pages that were a mess. No surprise those weren’t included. We signed another memoir based on the sole endorsement of a very famous writer. Hell, people are selling their memoirs off of superb blogs such as Julie and Julia, or I’m Not the New Me, or It Sucked and Then I Cried. I believe I sold my own frickin’ memoir, Food and Loathing, on about 50 pages and a synopsis, but these pages included a scene where I describe how I want to smear chocolate custard all over the walls of a Dunkin’ Donuts, which I believe I refer to as a pink and orange shitbox. I mean, who wouldn’t pay cash for that?

No matter how you sell it, you still have to write it, and make it true-ish. Anyone have a good memoir story? Especially how you tried to sell one. Or recommend your favorite memoirs. Oh, and dearest darling readers, thanks for all the comments this week. I love the rodeo. Betsy

Filed under: Agent, Protocol | 29 Comments »

Money for Jam

Posted on February 18, 2010 by betsylerner

Ten years ago this month, I turned in my blue pencil and became an agent. I never thought I could be closer to writers than in my capacity as an editor, but I have found that the agent relationship can be even closer. You are there at the inception of a career, or you are stepping in mid-stream and trying to rebuild a career. You spend your time as an interpreter, negotiator, editor, shrink, friend, mother, principal, ping-pong partner and bank. You witness the passing of parents and the birth of babies. You know when the writing flows and when it falters. You know your writers’ strengths and limitations, when they’ve had a breakthrough and when they’ve hit a wall. You track a mood swing from self-aggrandizement to self-flagellation and back again many times over the course of one conversation. At a reading, you feel as if you are watching your child’s first recital. You wildy applaud as he picks up his first literary prize. You are celebrating a great review. You are going to a memorial service, an emergency room, a motel in Texas. Just when you think your tank is empty, a pile of pages arrives that takes your breath away.

I’m curious how you feel about your agents, but please don’t mention names or call anyone a douche. And if any of my clients feel compelled to write in, lay it on thick.

Filed under: Agent, Client | 12 Comments »

I Have Confidence in Rain

Posted on February 16, 2010 by betsylerner

Hi Betsy,

You may not remember me… you gave me some good advice a few months ago and it led to this: I sold my book. You gave me a good kick in the pants and told me to move on. You should charge for advice, you’re so good! I hope sending the good news isn’t tacky… Thanks again for your wonderful blog, your straight forwardness, giving us struggling writers the straight dope on what goes on, your tough love.

cheers from a snowy DC

Snowy DC first wrote to me back in July. She was confused about how to leverage agent interest. And now look at her! People, take notice. Snowy DC snagged an agent and scored a book contract. And she still remembers us little people. Snow-eee! Snow-eee!

Dear darling readers of this blog, write me with your questions and you, too, can get your ass kicked. I promise, I won’t be gentle. And though Snowy rightly points out that I should charge, I don’t. So please, avail yourselves of this free public service “Ask Betsy” and I’ll do my best to help you, too, succeed.

But now, just for fun, and after you offer your congratulations to Snowy D, what is the single worst piece of publishing or writing advice you’ve ever received? (Mine was to go into publishing, ha ha ha.)

Filed under: FAQ | 30 Comments »

Count the Headlights On the Highway

Posted on February 15, 2010 by betsylerner

A client accused me of being a tease today. It was warranted. I dropped a hint about some positive feedback for his project during my trip to LA. I think I might have said that they were creaming for it in my usual tasteful and delicate way. The last thing this writer needs, as he is polishing his manuscript for submission to publishers, is for me to dangle diamond studded carrots before his eyes.

Am I tease? I guess I wanted him to know that I was pitching his book, and that people seemed genuinely enthused so far as you can use the word genuine with respect to anything in LA. And I’m not going all negative on Hollywood. I’m not. But I put the Hollywood cart before the Publishing horse and it was a misstep.

I think it’s important to know what information to give your clients and when. They are not children, but there’s only so much a person can take. I also e-blurted it out because it’s fun to drop big Hollywood names. But again, stupid. It sets up unrealistic expectations. Though I’ve got to say, I would have never lasted 25 years in publishing if unrealistic expectations didn’t course through my veins.

Would you rather know more or less? Only concrete information or every nibble? Tell me everything or wake me up when it’s over? Straight up or with a twist?

Filed under: Client, Film | 26 Comments »

Word by Word

Posted on February 14, 2010 by betsylerner

I would like to talk about something that very few people talk about: skimming. Do you skim when you read? And if so, when? When you’re bored, when the section doesn’t interest you, when you just want to know what happened? And for how long? Just a few sentences, paragraphs, whole chapters? And do ever get anxious that you missed the one important detail that will explain everything in the end? Do you skim fiction and not non-fiction, or the other way around? Does everyone do it but no one admits it? Or are there purists out there? I remember when I found out my best friend in the third grade read the last paragraph of each book she read before she started it; I was shocked. Aren’t there laws against such things?

Filed under: Uncategorized | 40 Comments »

She stood there bright as the sun on that california coast

Posted on February 11, 2010 by betsylerner

Home. Very happy to be home. It’s no secret that I always wanted to work in Hollywood, and that I’m still chewing on a screenplay (#4), etc. But the real secret is that I could kiss the tarmac at JFK and everyone I’ve ever met in publishing because when you find an editor who loves a manuscript and offers you an advance, a contract comes, and in a year or so a manuscript is completed and put into production, and eight or nine months later, an author holds a book in his hands that is the culmination of his creative dream. And people have a chance to read it.

When I was a young associate editor at Ballantine, one of the first novels I acquired got a million dollar movie deal — overnight. The author and I went to the Brasserie, ordered steaks and martinis to celebrate. When I got back to the office, I threw up in my garbage pail and passed out on the floor. Those were the days! Of course, nothing like that has ever happened since, and I’ve learned over the years how complex a process it is to get a movie off the ground. Complex is a euphemism for fucking mind fuck. Still, I love it, I love movies, and the level of difficulty only spurs me on . I’m cool with Hollywood breaking my heart; but does it have to shit on my face, too?

Filed under: Agent, Film | 16 Comments »

L.A. Confidential – Day 4 – The Dream Factory

Posted on February 11, 2010 by betsylerner

Last night in L.A., eating Thai take-out and watching episodes of 30 Rock on Hulu after a long day of meetings. The night before I met my kid sister for dinner. She’s casting her pilot and was having a hard time finding the right young woman for a certain role when I spotted a gorgeous young woman sitting on a banquet at 9:00. I told my sister to check her out and immediately she saw what I saw. We asked if she was an actress and, eureka! she was. My sister told her a little bit about the show and then then asked for the name of her agent, which she put in her blackberry. My sister’s casting director will call the young woman’s agent in the morning to set up an audition. Only in LA, kids, only in LA.

Star Meter: 0

Filed under: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

L.A. Confidential – Day 3 – “Let’s Chop It Up”

Posted on February 9, 2010 by betsylerner

Pitching the same projects over and over is a little like married sex — sometimes you have to work to keep it fresh. I find it’s best to ask a producer/manager/agent what they’re looking for before I start in. This way, you don’t start pitching a thriller, for example, only to find out they’re no longer producing thrillers, which at best is a buzz kill. I’ve also learned only to share two or three projects with a producer. When I started, I’d manically talk about everything I had as if my client list were a buffet table. It’s much better to talk about a couple of projects that might actually be right, like when a personal shopper suggests two suits out of the twenty she has because these are the two that will fit.

How much do you tip the guys who valet park your car? Is $2 bucks the going rate?

There is a salad at the Beverly Hills Hotel called the McArthur or McCarthy, and if I get executed and I get to pick my last meal, it will be this salad. They chop it so fine that you barely need to chew and I’m guessing that if you’re about to take the pipe, it might be hard to chew.

ALL anyone can talk about is how Dear John bumped Avatar off the #1 Box Office perch. NO ONE can believe this. And they all want to know if we have something like a Dear John on our list. I have a Dear Adolph. Does that count? How about Dear Sirhan Sirhan? Or Dear Ted Bundy. Oh, yeah, they’d also be interested in then next The Blind Side and The Hangover. Whatcha got people? I’m here, it’s now. Pitch your high concept movie here and earn big bucks!

One last thing: Lots of producers offices have chocolate at their reception desks. What is up with that? And how many pieces is it appropriate to take?

Star meter: 0

Filed under: Uncategorized | 15 Comments »

« Previous Page — Next Page »