• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

You Can Radiate Everything You Are

Small World Books on Venice Beach is so wonderful and not just because they seemed to stock every book I’ve worked on in the last six months INCLUDING the poetry.  And it’s not easy competing with a beach. I was so in love with the place, I forgot to check if they had my frickin’ books. But I did peruse the entire poetry section, as is my wont. Wont? This, to me, is always the measure of a truly great store — the depth of the poetry section and it was superb.  But SWB also has a great small press display. Amazing paperback section beautifully displayed. They have recently reviewed books up front. Tons of front list — but you could feel a really smart buyer behind the selection. Looking at the books was like having a really great conversation with well read and charming stranger. God, it was like breathing fresh air.

How do you case a bookstore?

p.s. Extra credit. We are reading To Kill A Mockingbird with our eighth grader and came upon the sentence that title comes from.  Anyone remember?

In a Hollywood Bungalow

Thanks to everyone who called the domain name problem to my attention. It should be resolved within fortyEight hours.

I’m on the road and posting from a sanitary pad. As a result, I have no idea how to find most punctuation let alone the beautiful pictures that usually adorn this blog. For the record, I usually hate vacation because I love routine. I also feel that any time off should be used for writing. I also do not care for the pressure of having fun. That said, I am in good spirits, deep into book iv of the 2666 which is extraordinarily disturbing, and visiting lots of indie bookstores and filling in my poqetry collection.

Tell me true, do you like vacation? As a writer, is there any such thing. Can you turn it off? Would you want to?
Tell me, can you ever take a vacation as a writer? The

Standing At The End of The Road, Boys, Waiting for My New Friends to Come

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know I have no friends. Well, no friends outside of publishing. And they’re only your friends until you get shit canned. Last night, I met some civilians and they were asking some of the usual questions, how do you find authors, how do you know if a manuscript is good, is there any money in it?

–You mostly find authors through referrals (and this does not include my mother who loves nothing better than to foist a manuscript on me by the son of a lady she plays bridge with). A good referral is usually by a client, or a writing teacher, sometimes (and I’ve been lucky here), an editor. This is probably because I was an editor and they think I’m not out to screw people. (Apparently, they didn’t get the memo.) I also find authors the old fashioned way. I read a lot of stuff and call people/writers who I think might have a book in them. Sometimes they are flattered, but spoken for. Sometimes they are flattered but are too busy doing “real” work. And then, every once in a great while, the writer is not represented, has some pages he or she is working on, and it’s like where have you been all my life. Though the writer was hardly under a rock, it feels as if you have discovered him or her and you can barely contain your desire to share this writer with the whole world.

–How do you know if a manuscript is good? How do you know if a scrambled egg with cheese on a roll is good? How do you know if fucking in a stream is good? How do you know if a man driving down a highway will, when he arrives at his destination, either kill someone or himself?

–Money. What’s money?

What questions do civilians most commonly ask of you?

When I Get That Feeling

I used to have a friend called Raymond. He saw me through a lot of heartache. One of his standard soliloquies was about how great love wasn’t for every day. Everyday you could reasonably expect: a cup of coffee, the newspaper, a good dump, etc. But great love, well, it was going to take its time. This is true for finding great authors and projects.

When I left one publishing house for another, my boss pulled me over and said, if you remember anything, remember this: patience. Was this the generic advice he gave all young editors trying to make their mark, or did he see the mania in my eyes? Either way, it felt like fuddy duddy advice, be cautious, belt and suspenders. Didn’t getting anywhere require daring, action, taking a leap?

What happens when months go by and you don’t see anything you like. I’ve often compared this predicament to the lowering of sexual standards in a dive bar after 2:00 a.m. This is okay for a one night stand, but can be disastrous when you take on a book that you never quite believe in, acquired in a fit desperation. This happened to me once when I was an editor, and it only had to happen once.

How do you know when it’s the real thing?

Here We Are Now, Entertain Us

Remember the moment in BIG when Tom Hanks presents his ideas for a new toy and his jealous colleague played by John Heard snarks back, “I don’t get it,” in an attempt to short circuit the presentation. Of course, it backfired because this is a feel good movie.

In publishing, there is an equivalent moment at editorial board. A passionate editor (maybe young) presents a book he or she loves and wants to acquire. Some (usually senior and vaguely threatened) editor says, “Who’s the market?” or “Who’s going to read that?” Look, they are  valid questions, but it’s the smug, dismissive way they are delivered that  sounds more like: can I piss on your face?

Maybe I’m sensitive, but that’s what it sounded like to me. An editor has to come prepared to a meeting knowing that she is going to face the eventuality of that question being asked, whether by John Heard or an editor with a few flops he’s trying to live down.

And that is why it is most excellent for you, dear author, to have some sense of that. Of course you will work with your agent to put a pitch together. But if you’re pitching to get an agent, then you should also try to make some cogent comparisons. And don’t say you’re the next EATPRAYLOVE. Comparing yourself to an inexplicable phenomenon is a mad mix of hubris and magical thinking. Of course, if you find a lovable animal stuffed into an overhead compartment of a plane that goes on to rescue everyone from hijackers, then you, by all means, should compare your book to DEWEYMARLEY et al. This is a hungry market.

Ask yourself, who is going to read my book. Actually, fuck that. Just write it.

I Saw the Movie and I Read the Book

Is that going to be on the exam?

Please take moment, treat yourself to a good laugh, and watch this hilarious book trailer for Gary Shteyngart’s new novel Super Sad True Love Story:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfzuOu4UIOU

Now, please take out your number two pencil and answer the following questions:

  1. Do you have the new “skill set” for becoming an author?
  2. Have you fully grasped the new technology as the “game changer” for marketing books?
  3. Define the meaning of the word “whore.”
  4. True or false: we are guilty of fetishizing all things Russian: vodka, matryoshka dolls, novelists
  5. The durability of Jay McInerney. Comment.
  6. Mary Gaitskill.
  7. Gary Shteyngart: brilliant buffoon or pretty poseur?

I’m thinking of making a trailer for the revised Forest for the Trees due out in October. I think I’ll start by visiting authors’ graves. Then, I’ll interview James Franco and compare notes about our experience as MFA students. I bet we feel exactly the same way. Then I’ll download something. Then I’ll ask James Franco to join me and August in the hot tub. Would it be too much to ask him to recite The Most of It by Robert Frost? Then we’ll go on a publishing lunch date and pretend to enjoy it. Then we’ll marvel at our iPads. Then we’ll end at Yale where James Franco is teaching. And then we’ll kiss.

What’s gonna be on your book trailer?


So Take A Good Look At My Face

Let me just come right out and say that there is almost nothing more beautiful to me than a jacket that is perfect for a book. And by perfect I mean that it gets you to want it before you’ve read it and makes you want to keep it afterwards. I think the beauty of book design is more crucial than ever as readers have the choice whether to buy and read a physical book or download one into their assbook. But I cared deeply about this long before you could purchase a file. Since I was very young, I didn’t even want to read a book if I didn’t like the jacket. I discovered some of my heroes because of their covers: Houseboat Days, In Cold Blood, Day by Day, Horses. But it’s not just the art, it’s the marriage of title and art, the way they work in tandem.

What I really hate more than anything is what I fondly call a Massengill cover, just some douchy artwork that is as generic as the crap you see at a street fair. It usually has a title to match like The Bland Daughter, or Heaven’s Happy, or Marco’s Oil. And the authors look like suburban women who sell real estate by day and are vampires by night. The men I can’t even talk about because they are scary as in: may I help you with your groceries, miss?

Please write in with your favorite jacket covers ever, if you like. Especially a book you bought just because of the jacket.

No One Will Be Watching Us

A fiction writer recently asked me if she should take a poetry class, sort of to jump start her writing. I thought it was an interesting idea. Look, poetry is always a good idea. But, I thought, there must be others: What about a violin class, or snow boarding? What about having an affair with a boarding instructor who is missing part of his arm? What about shoplifting?  What about staying in your house until you’ve eaten everything. Hello, smoking! Remember how well that used to work? Hitachi magic wand.  Go to therapy. Get on the couch. Do it. Talk about how much you want to blow your therapist, how you really don’t hate your parents, how everything reminds you of something you ate. Am I forgetting anything? Work in a bookstore, volunteer somewhere, trompe l’oeil the garage! Clean! Throw away five hefty garbage bags full of stuff. Pick your face, pluck your eyebrows, moisturize. Read a book that is 1,000 pages long. Cut up your credit cards. Stop talking.  Write in long hand! (Betty Lerner is a big believer in the long hand!). Get up at 5:00 am. Just get up. Or, stay up all night. Become delirious. Get a dog. Get a divorce. Get a physical. Use index cards. (Big believer in index cards!) Remember: no one cares if you write. Not god, not the angels, not the editors who turn tricks on 42nd Street. In fact, some people would prefer it if you didn’t write, would sooner see you wriggle on a hook for your whole feckin’ life than reel one in. What could be more liberating? Do it precisely because nobody gives a shit. Because language has not yet begun to go bald. And you are a star.

Count the Headlights on the Highway

Should you know your competitor’s work or avoid it at all costs? Should you sleep with the enemy? When I was working on The Forest for the Trees, there was one book that terrified me and I stayed far away from it. It was everywhere, it was beloved, and duh it was about writing. It had the greatest title, the kind of title that appealed on every level,  and a sublime jacket, the kind of jacket that makes you want to own it, and only suits the book more after you’ve read it. Everyone seemed to have read it and everyone loved the motherfucker. Of course, I’m talking about Bird By Bird. I knew if I read it, I would never write my book. The shadow it cast was too large. I finally read it years later and here’s a newsflash, it’s wonderful. As it turns out, I really didn’t have to worry since Lamott’s book is about writing, and mine is about self-loathing. Phew.

Do you avoid certain books that you fear may steal your thunder,  intimidate you,  influence you too much,  flatten you, or kill you? Or do you read the competition first, bring it on. Or perhaps you feel there’s room for all kinds of voices and you don’t feel competitive about your work or the work of others. Then again, that might be the lobotomy talking.

We Won’t Find Out Until We Grow

The responses to today’s post (and thank you editor lurkers for coming out from behind the veil), made me think about my idea of what the writing life was like at 20. I was spending my junior year abroad in London, aka running away from the life I failed to achieve at NYU. My dorm room was in Tooting bec, in the south of London, extremely isolated and unfashionable at the time.

A group of girls had gone in together on a flat near the Chelsea Road; they invited me to join but I craved that solitary room. I kept it very spare except for a poster of the Arbus twins.

That year I had two independent studies and I did them on Philip Larkin and Gerard Manley Hopkins, and I read everything they wrote and still love them dearly. Most nights, you could find me drinking bad red wine, eating peanuts out of a cellophane tube, and reading Hardy novels. When I wasn’t in school, I was riding the top of the double decker buses, smoking, and writing in my diary. I made one friend and he no longer speaks to me.

Writing meant everything to me, but I never imagined being a writer, or being published. We didn’t know any writers, those kinds of dreams seemed like they were for other people. I always felt very humble when I read a book. If it was slow or boring or difficult to follow, I always believed the fault was my own. If it was in print, I believed it to have sacred qualities. What I did, all the scribbling in my diary, all the poem fragments, didn’t exist on the same continuum as published works.

My one friend and I used to go to a place that had an open mike poetry reading. We were astonished to discover that in the UK, people were happy to heckle and insult the readers. We went week after week and squealed with delight at the public humiliations thrust upon the poets. It was blood sport. Needless to say, I never got up and read a poem. At twenty, dear readers, I was an amoeba.

What were you?