• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

As I walk this land of broken dreams I have visions of many things

Somehow, I got to be fifty fucking years old and half my life has been lived in the service of helping writers bring their work to the public. There isn’t a day when I’m not that girl in an ill fitting Ann Taylor suit riding up the elevator on her first day of work at Simon and Schuster, or making my first offer on a book and being embarrassed to say the number, or opening the NYT and seeing my author get a rave review, or crying in front of my boss John Sterling when a book was trashed by same paper, or going to the National Book Critics Circle Award or a reading on the lower East Side, or asking an agent over lunch if he and his wife were gay (did not go over), the BEA when I slept with two writers, and the BEA when I picked my face so badly it bled. I remember pencil shavings covering my chest and post-its lining the walls, and playing Scrabble with Rick Moody in his boss’s office and soaking up everything I could learn about the literary life, hearing juicy gossip about people you only knew by reputation, spreading it.  I remember the great Alice Mayhew furiously marching down editorial row screaming “Amateur night, amateur night,” when she believed an agent had botched an auction. And I remember thinking that was the worst thing you could ever be called: an amateur.   I remember feeling betrayed, loved, admired, hurt, stung, played, and appreciated. Then there is every book I’ve ever worked on and the story of how it came into being, the back story of every decision and choice that we agonized over in the hope of getting it right.

So when a young editor takes me for coffee and asks my advice about whether there is any future for editors, I don’t know what to say. It breaks my heart. We only worried about whether we would make it, find a spot on editorial row and kill it. We didn’t worry about the future of publishing. We worried mightily whether there would be a place at the table, but we never doubted the existence of the table itself. How do you soldier on in the face of so much uncertainty? Do you think about the future of book publishing, the table?

As The Present Now Will Later Be Past

If you invite me to your house, I’m going to rifle through your medicine chest. It’s that simple. In that spirit, I want to know what you’ve got on that dang Kindle. I can tell you what’s on my bedside table:  Henrietta Lacks, Tinkers, some book about Russian novels with a Roz Chast cover, Savage Detectives, Stuff,  Words in Air (I never finished the last 80 pages because I didn’t want it to end), and a book that has the calorie count of every food on earth). So what are today’s most sophisticated and critical writers and readers downloading, i.e. the readers of this blog? Or if you’re still holding out, what’s on the night table?? Hit me.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

A soccer mom buddy is reading the Franzen on her Kindle. I submitted a new project to 16 editors on Friday; they all wanted it for their Kindles. Friends, I can feel it. Just like the answering machine, the VCR, the cell phone, the IPod, and sanitary napkins with wings — innovation will win out. I noticed at B&N that you could get a Kindle cover from Lily Pulitzer, Coach, and Burberry. Now, that’s special.

Not having a Kindle is going to be considered pretentious, or precious, or perverse. I don’t want to defend not having a Kindle, so I will probably lie, like when someone on a plane or train asks me what I do: I say I’m an accountant. I don’t want to down load, I don’t want a designer case, I don’t want to choose my typeface. I don’t want to remember another charger and I don’t want to fiddle with the snake pit of wires under my bed. I don’t want (another) device in my bed. I don’t want to stop using the bookmark my daughter made when she was in the second grade or the makeshift bookmarks: movie stubs, clothing labels, envelopes. I don’t want to stop recording new vocabulary words in the backs of books. And I don’t want to stop  marking passages that sum up the whole fucking world or make me, for just a few seconds, not feel like such a fucking freak because in that brilliant string of words that I can see and touch I know I am not dead or beyond redemption.

Agh. We’ve had this conversation more than a few times. Eventually I’ll get a Kindle and I’ll swipe a credit card in my crack and my thumbprint will open the refrigerator door and a little robot will e-binge its brains out for me. So, instead, I’m curious, when people ask you what you do, what do you say, do you say: I’m a writer.

First You Love Me Then You Hate Me

Dear Betsy,
I signed on with a prominent New York agent to represent my debut novel, but in the end she wasn’t able to sell it.
(She only tried selling to some of the big houses.) Despite the fact that most of the editors wrote glowing reports about my novel, they were hesitant to take a chance on it in this difficult market. My agent and I have now parted ways. Is it a waste of time searching for a new agent? Will I be considered “tainted goods”? I would really appreciate some sage advice. I am not sure how to proceed.

Thanks so much!

Dear Tainted:

I’m afraid it’s over. Not all aspiring writers understand that when you make a submission to Joe Blow at Random House,  that he speaks for Random House. If he rejects it, you do not have the opportunity to try his colleague Jane Blow down the hall. You get exactly one chance at every house. When we make up a submission list, we think long and hard about which editor to send it to because you only get this one shot. So a new agent will not be able to resubmit for you if your agent basically covered the waterfront. Your parenthetical about your agent only going to big houses — that’s appropriate and what most agents do. You, however, can try small presses and should. Look at Tinkers. You need to find a new agent when you have a new work. Why did you guys break up? It sounds like you had a lot of close calls and much reason to think the next book might sell. I hope you’re back on the mule. Thanks for writing.

Commenters: can we have some  spectacularly nasty stories about break-ups with editors and agents to get us through the night?

And You Know That Notion Just Crossed My Mind

Seventeen hour day and still on the train. Phew. Highlight of the day was a meeting with a publisher and her colleague. They came to do a dog and pony and brought lots of books, promotional materials and catalogues. They  explained how they make editorial and formatting decisions, and how they market and promote, etc. They are doing an impressive job on the internet marketing; this is not true for all publishers. The books are gorgeous. It made me long for my editorial days. When people ask me if I miss it, this is what I miss: making the book. As involved as I am as an agent, I’m not talking to designers about end papers and trim size and coated stock or rough fronts. I love design. I love the package. I love fonts! I fuckin’ love them. I heart fonts! I break for French flaps. My kingdom for a satin ribbon!

How important is this stuff to you? As a consumer? As a writer?

And the Dreams that You Dare to Dream Really Do Come True

Dearest darling readers of this blog: it’s up! The revised and updated edition of The Forest for the Trees on Amazon. Shit, this is really, finally, happening. I even got a nice, encouraging note from my publisher, you know, the great and powerful Oz! My intern is clacking addresses into a label maker file. The guy helping me with marketing has made a fabulous e-card and is designing a brochure. My publicist is sending out the books and talking to folks. My editor gave me 11 pages of notes for the revision, so if you like the changes, blame her! I’m pushing myself on to people (just today got a MFA prof to invite me to his class), and have written letters to anyone who has ever so much as sneered at me. I’m working on a piece for Modern Love and it SUCkS. I’m working on something for Publishing Perspectives. Most important, I’m working really hard to get down to my fighting weight and fit into the Nanette Lepore dress I bought a size too small on a great sale this summer at Bloomingdales.

What are you doing for your book?

Well You Can Dream On Me

Betsy,

I started a blog in April, it’s about my son. I post weekly. What do you tell your clients about blogs? Do you ever try to convince writers to start one? Or two? Are writers ever “discovered” that way? Can blogs lead to books or is it a totally different (disposable) medium? Are they only interesting to publishers in terms of the numbers or is the content the thing? Is blogging real writing? Do you cover blogs in your new edition of Forest for the Trees?

Thanks!

Dear Fellow Blogger:

In answer to your questions. First, if you want to build an audience, you need to blog every day, at least this is my understanding. I tell my clients to think about a blog if it makes sense and can augment their book, build an audience as they write, find the niche markets that would be interested in their work. A lot of authors make the mistake of starting a blog when they finish the book or as the book is about come out. Even though the web makes it possible to launch a blog in seven seconds, it actually takes serious time and devotion to build an on-line presence if you are starting from scratch. Yes, Virginia, some writers have been discovered through their blogs. Most notably, perhaps, is Julie Powell of  Julie & Julia fame. And these blogs have led to books. Another great example is Stuff White People Like. Is blogging real writing? Well, it ain’t Proust. But lots of bloggers (ahem) pride themselves in what they write. Yes, I cover blogs in my new edition of Forest for the Trees. I also talk about Twatter, MyFace, etc. I’m kinda with Betty White here; it’s all a big waste of time. On the other hand, in just one year and a half, this blog has brought me more laughs, fun, a great community of writers, potential clients, invitations, people out of the woodwork etc. than I could have ever imagined. I think it’s probably a good idea to figure out what it is you want from a blog and then design one to help you fulfill those goals. Or, WTF, just open an on-line vein and let it bleed.

What do you say? What blogs do you read? What makes a blog great? Do they help or hinder your writing?

Revved Up Like a Deuce

Dear Betsy,

I thought I’d throw a real question your way. If you’ve already answered it elsewhere, please forgive me.

When dealing with agents, publishers, etc., how do we not be dicks?  I don’t mean the kind who are intentionally that way, but dick-ness born of insecurity and desperation. The thought of getting published (what to speak of writing) is so frightening, so freighted, it brings to the fore (am I getting too alliterative?) all one’s defenses. It’s as if we unconsciously decide, “I’m not going to let them reject me so easily. I’m not going to let them see how scared I am. I’m going to preemptively reject them first by being a dick, and so, if they do somehow accept me, I’ll know it’s because they really, really want me.” For those of us who haven’t gone through years of therapy to overcome (or just become aware of) this kind of thinking, is there a code of publishing etiquette to which we can strictly hew? A chart which we can tape to the bathroom mirror? You can argue that it’s just a matter of being a decent human being, but dicks seemingly get published all the time. Or do they become dicks after they get published?

Love, NAME WITHHELD

Dear Gentle Person:

If you are wondering about being a dick, pretty good chance that you’re not one. Isn’t that part of the definition of being a dick, a sort of willful disregard for other people’s feelings?  But more interesting to me is the question of whether being a dick helps or hurts. Tucker Max’s forthcoming book is called Assholes Finish First. I’ve always craved a little of that swagger to be honest. But I’ve also noted at every publishing house I’ve ever worked for that once you were deemed a dick, people did very little to advance your career. Of course, some would say publishers do precious little to advance your career regardless of your personality, zodiac sign, or the number of times you bring warm scones to the office.

The only authors from whom dick-head behavior is tolerated are those who  make the company a barge of money. I’ve always heard John Gray was a major dickhead (Men are from Scroto, Women are from Clito); I’ve always heard Tuesdays with Morrie was a dickwad among dickwads. But these are rumors. I’ve also heard Mary Higgins Clark is a sweetheart. I know John Grisham is a gentleman. I believe Stephen King to be a really cool dude.

Is there a code? Well, yes and no. I mean you can’t be a total asshole and expect people to work with you. You can’t show up without an appointment and demand an audience. You can’t bombard with calls or email. You can’t rent a Mercedes and hire a couple of hookers on your reading tour and submit the charges. Those days are long gone.

Look, there is never any excuse for being a dick. I once had dinner with some famous people and after some drinks the conversation got around to whether any of them ever played the “do you know who I am” card. It was hysterical. They all had done it, but only once or twice they swore. (That’s like me telling me my mom I only tried pot once or twice.) But they were ashamed. They knew they were being dickheads. I also met a lawyer once who told me that he was very good at what he did (divorce law), and almost always won. I asked him what his secret was. “I can be a real prick, ” he said.

Here’s the deal: you probably have to be at least a bit of a prick to be a writer. Probably getting published brings it out a little more. And big success can certainly fan some dickheaded flames. Thing is, it’s probably okay to be a bit of a dick. Just try not to be a douche.

C’mon everyone, talk to me. What’s the biggest dickheaded thing you ever did in relation to your writing?

If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky

Every year, I take my mother to synagogue. I would like to say that I am a good daughter, but I complain the entire time, roll my eyes. She says I don’t have to go, but I insist. She asks if I’ll go after she croaks: NO. The only auditorium I like to sit in for two hours is a movie house. Then there’s the lady who shakes your hand as you come in and says SHANA TOVA as if you’re deaf.  She always asks, “are you still writing?” No, I say, god struck me dead.

It comes to me as an ocean with pages, with squid ink and mottled skies. I see every small army take up the fight. I see lonely old women with  swollen knuckles and diamond rings.  My head feels heavy with the perfume of the dying. My mother keeps telling me things. Thirty-seven years ago, I was a bat mitzvah. I stood there and sang my portion. Even then, I was hot with life.

Whatever you are writing, may it be inscribed in the book of life, sentences that live inside your mouth, scenes you wished for, scenes you escaped from, the ignition of your imagination and the helicopter that hovered near. This is your life. This now. This perfect day. All your tears are here. Every humiliation, every cruelty, every time you took something that wasn’t yours. You are a batallian of complaints. You are the last erotic plum in a purple bowl. I love you with all my heart. Happy new year.

You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go

I’ve been helping a writer with the ending of her book for a few weeks. I see so clearly the forest while she is hugging the trees. I’ve tried gentle persuasion, I’ve tried a firmer hand, I’ve tried to see it from her point of view. I’ve given structural and line edits. I’ve talked character motivation and reader expectation.  I’ve tried to make one point: in the beginning is the end. I mean at least in this case. This is not a po-mo novel, this is not an experiment only using the letter “e.” Okay, how do I know I’m right? Experience. An exquisite sense of pacing, moment, language, and integration. Because I am a student of poetry and I believe the cup seeks the ball whether it wobbles and falls, or lands with a satisfying clink. I know from endings and I know from blue balls. I know how to twist in hot sheets with a symphony of a thousand locusts sawing outside.

Maybe she doesn’t want to let it go; after all, then it will be over, gone, who will leave little effigies in the trees? Do people really fear success? You think: this may be your last move. It is nothing if not inevitable in a completely surprising way. Oh, you little bitch. Maybe you should shut up. Maybe you should shut up. Maybe this bit doesn’t take the horse. Maybe I should go fuck myself.

How does it feel to end a book?