Posted on June 25, 2017 by betsylerner

I hate to bring this up again, but query letters have gone off the fuckin’ rails of late. First, crazy over-familiarity. Just because you may read this blog doesn’t mean that you know me or more important know me as an agent. It doesn’t mean I love expletives even though I use them, and they certainly have no place in a query letter. It doesn’t mean that you can call me dude, man, or Hey Betsy! It’s Dear Betsy. End of conversation. It doesn’t matter what you read here, writing a query letter is a formal gesture meant to introduce an agent or editor to your work. Short and sweet. Lead with your best foot: credentials, idea, research, story, sources, etc. Have a great title. Be polite. And winning.
If you dare, post your query letter and we’ll see what everyone thinks, including me.
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Posted on June 23, 2017 by betsylerner
I‘m in the middle of a revision. Ah, revision. Fucking’ revision. It’s all about the revision. Why is it so hard to put on your boots and go back into into the fray. To find the squirrel’s soft belly? To grab the monkey or climbing rope. To rethink, reimagine, regroup. How do clear the static, the white noise, the maw of the garbage truck, the thrum of rain. What is that between your toes, how did you let yourself go? Fill in a character, a trajectory, a chronology, a slow burning fuse you forgot to explode.
How do you go back in?
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Posted on June 21, 2017 by betsylerner
I spent an hour in a B&N today. First, I check the poetry section. The sign of a really good bookstore, as far as I’m concerned, is the quality of their poetry section. I’m looking for breadth and depth. Then, I check if my clients’ books are in stock. Often I’ll photograph them and forward with a note. Sometimes, shelf-elf that I am, I move them to the front tables. And finally, I search for my three little fuckers.
What’s the first thing you look for in a bookstore?
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Posted on June 14, 2017 by betsylerner
Today, I walked by two guys. One said to the other, “Let me get this right, you have an LA nanny and a New York nanny. Who’s bougie now?”
The other guy said, “No, man, it’s not like that.”
What’s the best thing you’ve overheard lately? Do you use it in your dialogue?
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Posted on June 12, 2017 by betsylerner
Found an abandoned diary, from a few years ago, abandoned after just a few pages. It started as many do, with a solemn promise to write every day. I don’t know why some diaries take and others don’t. Those few pages talked about wanting to write the Bridge Ladies book. Just my first thoughts about what it could be. That was mind blowing. The other pages were about an amazing conversation with my daughter, which I had totally forgotten. And which makes me sort of sad for failing to record so many more. I started a new diary a week ago, which is a dedicated project diary. I wonder how quickly I’ll forget all about it.
Do you love and leave your diaries, or are you loyal?
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Posted on June 11, 2017 by betsylerner
“He’s got a great nose for story, but he wouldn’t know a telling detail if it bit him in the ass.” I heard a seasoned editor say that about a journalist over thirty years ago. I never forgot it. I was just beginning to learn what telling details were, but what I wanted to know was whether the writer knew this about himself. Or did he have a blind spot. Maybe he was more forest than trees. How do you know what your bad at?
What’s your blind spot?
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Posted on June 8, 2017 by betsylerner
Tomorrow, I’ve been invited to give a reading at a bridge club and then play bridge with the members. I don’t think any other author that I know of has ever had to prove themselves at card table. Like for three hours. The good news is that Bridge players really want to play more than hear me gas on, so the reading will be super brief. The downside is that my game isn’t all that good. Next, a woman making a documentary about Bridge is interviewing me before the whole thing gets going. I’ve always wanted to be a talking head.
Are you ready for your close-up?
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Posted on June 7, 2017 by betsylerner

Guys! A package arrived today. Inside was a copy of The Bridge Ladies (UK edition, ahem) specially stamped with one of the world’s most illustrious booksellers logos: Shakespeare and Co, Paris. It was sent to me by one you incredibly beautiful mental patients who hang out here at The Lerner Institute for the Chemically Imbalanced. I don’t want to embarrass her, but since the envelope was thrown away before a return address could be procured, I have to publicly thank NOVEMBER. Thank you so much. And if anyone else wants to start sending gifts, don’t be shy.
What’s the best gift you ever received? Material gift.
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Posted on June 4, 2017 by betsylerner

I’ve been bingeing on Friday Night Lights this weekend (when I’m not reading Sophocles), and among the many things I love about it is how every single character is a great American stereotype, and yet they all feel very true to me. It’s almost like the more cliched they are, the more I believe in them (true blue quarterback, drunken hottie best friend, beautiful cheer leader they are both in love with, stalwart coach, loyal, supportive wife with the longest waviest red hair and good sense, painfully shy guy, painfully awkward guy, sexy girl flunking out, etc.) I’ve been able to predict how every story line was going to conclude, and I still cried at the end of every episode. My whole writing life, I’ve admired subtlety, nuance, ambiguity, grey area, etc. Why am I so in love with Tim Riggins?
Who is your favorite stereotype?
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Posted on June 1, 2017 by betsylerner
I’ve had the great privilege of working with Neil deGrasse Tyson since 1989 when he published Merlin’s Tour of the Universe. His new book, Astrophysics for People in a Hurry debuted at #1 on the New York Times Bestseller List and is still there a month later. Congrats, Neil! I urge you to take a peek if you’ve ever wondered about stars and galaxies and black holes and dark matter, and ultimately your place in the universe. Until I read Neil’s books, I thought I was at its center. Spoiler alert:
What’s your place in the universe?

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