If I may flex, two of my clients’ books are back on the NYT bestseller list. Some think that bestsellers and prizes are shallow and ultimately insignificant. That what matters is the work. The process. The journey. Okay, whatever. I’m in it for the glory, for the gold, the adoration of the masses. I’m looking for prizes and page turners, ribbons and medals. The sound of many hands clapping. Do I need outside forces to confirm my self worth? Fuck, yes.
Where do you get your self-worth?
Filed under: Uncategorized |
Betsy Lerner 
from the baby jesus. I wish.
What self-worth?
I pretend that I am a successful writer. I know that I am a good mother and friend. I meditate and exercise. I tell myself how far I’ve come. I wake up every morning and know I’m lucky to be alive, blessed with infinite blessings.
“Where do you get your self-worth?”
My what? There’s that? We get to have that, too?
I think for me it’s always been a matter of vengeance, of pushing back, of showing, if only myself, that I really could do a thing or two.
Congratulations on your clients’ successes, Betsy. They are your successes, too.
Here’s one of mine. I’m not trying to horn in here, but I had a story published last week and I’m spreading the word. The story, “Breaking Leather on the Dog”, appears in what will be the final print issue (they’ve transitioned to digital) of J Journal, published by CUNY’s John Jay College of Criminal Justice. The editors, Jeffrey and Adam, made material contributions to the story’s ending. Endings are often the hardest part for me. I hadn’t even seen their final revisions until the story was published. The journal is also available online, and here’s a link to my tale: https://www.jjournal.org/post/breaking-leather-on-the-dog
How I feel about my writing at any given second