When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
I’m never jealous. You’re never jealous. We’re never jealous. Then why do I feel so fucking jealous when I see that a Netflix movie I’m truly enjoying is created, adapted, written and produced by a famous magazine writer novelist. Obviously this person has worked like a dog and deserves every minute of every day and every avocado on whole wheat toast. What am I going to wear to the Emmy’s? If only I stayed awake through Battleship Potemkin? If only I’d stayed awake through my art history exam. Stayed awake through my SATs for that matter. Fuck.
Are you the jealous type?
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Betsy Lerner 
A famous writer wrote a story (I guess you know more than a few) when they were both travelling together and doing book launches and festivals. He was the more famous, and didn’t think himself the jealous type, until that flipped. He flipped. I’m not jealous of guys like you, because you are on a different stratosphere. I’m jealous of the grubbers that are slightly ahead of me. I wish them well, of course. Fuckers.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/dec/05/my-boyfriend-a-writer-broke-up-with-me-because-im-a-writer
“Are you the jealous type?”
No, I’m the envious sort.
It depends. Sometimes? Envy is a tough one to swallow, and even as I’m berating myself (and talking to the cosmos about karma) I can’t help but feel it at times. It’s hardest when writers/authors hit lists and I think the books are terrible. That always hits me sideways. šš¤·š»āāļø
I think I accidentally deleted your comment – so sorry. Iām not tech savvy enough to reinstate it. My apologies!!!
hugely envious no matter what I tell myself about how it’s so bad for my soul, etc.
Thank goodness my character flaws do not include envy, because there is just way too much Stuff out there that is better than mine (stories, publishing success, money, looks, shoes) and I don’t want to waste my life sulking. If we writers are envious rather than admiring, how can we ever enjoy a good book or film? Successful bad films say a lot about the flawed system (consumers and industry panderers) but say nothing about other writers.
I have barely a jealous bone in my body. Eventually, my time will come. Or it won’t. I just want to be the best me.
No. And yet Iām jealous as fuck of [writer not in this community] who got an agent after some tiny amount of time and sold their book shortly after.
Question. A teacher of mine, many decades ago, said jealousy was between people and envy for everything else. If there is a difference, with barely a sliver of daylight between them, I am guilty of both…and not proud of it!!!
Here’s the best essay on envy ever written, IMHO. I come back to it often and share it with all my writer friends any time talk of envy comes up. š https://granta.com/envy/
thanks Robyn