When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
When I fall, I fall hard. Right now I’m talking about social media. I was doing so well, off all of it, and now I scroll in bed in the morning, on the train, on the can. I had actually gotten to page 300 in War and Peace and honestly loving it. Not the grand sweep of the thing, but all the petty exchanges between the dukes and ladies. I’ve turned my back from that masterpiece (and my stated goal to only ready masterpieces until I take my last breath) and instead I am looking at shirtless cowboys on Tik Tok, spaghetti bolognese on Facebook, Keanu Reeves on Instagram (okay let’s always make a little time for that), and pretending that Twitter is political and therefore “important.” I’m also back on Diet Coke, not doing my posture exercises and thinking ill of people in ways that rival Tolstoy.
Any advice?
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Betsy Lerner 
These days, whatever turns your brain to spaghetti bolognese can only be a good thing. At least you’re not doom-scrolling the destruction of the ozone or the probability that Putin’s going to take us all down with him. #winning
Social media – it’s such a mental trap. I say don’t worry about it. We’re always shape-shifting our habits. Like, I was doing planks. I can do 90 secs. (I think that’s saying something for someone almost 64.) But now, my left shoulder hurts, so IDK. Keep on, or not. 🤷🏻♀️ My walk/runs and bike rides are hit or miss. I’m still eating that ice cream or candy at night, even so.
I do know this, Tik Tok is pure entertainment. I follow people posting about animals. Same for Twitter. When I need to lighten the moment, off I go.
I love your blog! You get me in touch with my neurotic self. Thank you ❤
Two pieces of advice:
First piece – stop counting calories, years and bank balances.
Second piece of advice – don’t take advice from anybody.
You only live once. F… the rules. Even the ones you make for yourself. Maybe those most of all. Live it up!
I was commuting downtown and opened Instagram while I waited for the conductor to come through. At 6am, people are either sleeping or scrolling. I happened to notice a woman sitting below me (I sit on upper deck) who had an actual book on her lap, phone nowhere in sight. I couldn’t remember why I opened Instagram to begin with. I had around 10 minutes before the conductor came through so I opened my meditation app and spent 10 minutes doing that before showing my ticket and then putting my phone in my bag. I then read for 40 minutes.
No advice but I was much more interested in people-watching as I walked through Union Station and much less drained than I had become recently. And every story for me comes from noticing that odd thing about someone so…
For what it’s worth, I deleted Facebook years ago and have never regretted it…
My advice? Stop it!
“Any advice?”
Yes, but I’ll need money first.
Haha, get back on the wagon if you must (you know you’ll fall off again) OR set a regimen of no scrolling before you get out of bed. Then tread softly the rest of the day, denying yourself when possible. Small steps add up, they say. (Imma try this Monday.)
Just remember to get out in the fall weather, maybe visit an orchard, drink some cider and look up from the little screen occasionally to see if the leaves have changed color since you last checked.