When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.When I was young, I thought about death a great deal. I was obsessed with writers who took their lives. I didn’t know how to negotiate the toll of self destruction until I self-destructed. And from there it was brick by brick, every day brick by brick, every month, every year a small nod to the gods that kept me going forward, kept me on my meds, staying attached.
How do you stay attached?
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Betsy Lerner 
So much to see and do, so little time, Moon this morning, later sun and wind. Lola, grand friend. Joy in odd places, surprises everywhere.
By accident of birth, I was born into a culture of moral and other courage, and commitment, loyalty, stuff like that. Some of it stuck, and allows an appreciation of some ugly stuff, a laugh in hard times. Younger people started saying “Embrace the suck”, and they nailed it, I think. Now it’s an air embrace, but it still works.
Another part of this is concern for others, not hand wringing, but doing what you can when you can-taking the shot, making the call, flashing the smile, saying thank you.
We used to say “No guts, no glory”. There wasn’t much glory, and it never really mattered, at least for long. But the ability to step up or know when to step off ties me to this world and keeps smiles in stock.
Very well said, Frank. Thank you.
We were given the mystical miracle of life, it’s a gift really, and all that is asked is to be a witness of the gifts of life, so I stay attached as a way to honor that exchange. Plus, it’s all so fascinating
Yes. Thank you.
“How do you stay attached?”
desperation.
fear.
longing.
Dear Betsy, I appreciate how you tell your truths and triumphs.
My little pod of a family walks, sometimes we see friends on the road, and that’s special. No lying this is tough. My job right now is to take care of our daughter, keep her busy, sane. I need to be an attentive mother, and wife, a good friend… selfless and upbeat while my gut aches.
I wouldn’t want to hurt my children, or make them think that any of my problems have been their fault. I carry a lot of guilt around my father’s death and I know how heavy that can be.
Gotta admit, it’s tougher these days. Working a stressful day job remotely while worrying about loved ones I can’t see is taking its toll a bit.
I haven’t checked in here yet during this chaos, and am glad I finally did. You and your reader circle, Betsy, have helped keep me attached for many years. Love to you all!
Gotta admit, it’s tougher these days. Working a stressful day job remotely while worrying about loved ones I can’t see is taking its toll a bit.
I haven’t checked in here yet during this chaos, and am glad I finally did. You and your reader circle, Betsy, have helped keep me attached for many years. Love to you all!
Mostly knowing how it would damage people around me if I let go. But sometimes, like this morning, the first fresh breath outdoors on the dog walk or the way the light falls or the sky can be enough.
Your second sentence says a lot, Independent. Yes, there is some healing going on. Glad you got to witness some of it.
Thanks!