• Bridge Ladies

    Bridge Ladies When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
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If I Can’t Have You I Don’t Want Nobody Baby

I once had a very contentious negotiation with a lawyer who was representing a producer. I was in way over my head and stayed extremely quiet for most of the conversation for fear of making a mistake. The lawyer grew increasingly frustrated with my silences and I realized I could use this to my advantage. The more he talked, the more he gave away. The less I talked, the more control I had. Finally, when he couldn’t stand it any longer, he said, “Look, sometimes you just have to open the kimono!”  It’s incredible the things people will say.

How do you keep your kimono?

6 Responses

  1. Ha.I’ve always kept it closed and the sash knotted, opting instead to employ the “kill them with kindness” approach. I’ve actually had contractors raise a toast to my abilities to “get them to do work for free, that they didn’t want to do for pay.”

  2. The first time I heard that phrase, I was in my late twenties. In today’s climate, it wouldn’t go over well, I don’t think.

    The older I’ve become, the better I am at keeping my mouth (and kimono) shut. Listen, observe, learn.

  3. “Look, sometimes you just have to open the kimono!”

    I bet he’d been saving that one up. Or maybe he’d used it several times before. Probably heard it from someone else. Wonder if he had writerly dreams. But I speculate. He would know there’s no room in the law for speculation. Unless one is seeking an injunction or a TRO.

    Wonder if he knew what a kimono is. Wonder if I do. I know what I think it is. Thank you for the helpful illustration, too.

    Now I remember a young woman and her kimono. That story is not to be told here. It is sad but not terribly so. I wonder what became of her. She said she wanted to be a writer.

    And that is how I keep my kimono.

  4. Rudy Giuliani’s kimono

    Rudy waits, his
    kimono open
    and legs spread.
    A pathetic old liar
    making things up
    on the fly
    and bracing for
    impact when
    all does not
    go as planned,
    boss seething.

  5. Definitely closed——and not within striking distance of THAT lawyer.

    Sent from my iPhone


  6. Can one “google furiously”? I had to. Glad I’m in whatever technological age we find ourselves in.

    There’s a saying in real estate… at least I think it’s in real estate…

    Maybe it was my drug dealer. I don’t know. I can’t remember.

    “The first one to mention a number loses.”


    Since I had to look up whether or not men wear kimonos (they do, with lots of other stuff at the same time), it might be safe to say that Homey don’t play dat game! I DO wear coveralls, and if an idiot lawyer were to say that to me, I’d think that it would be just about that time that I’d feel a full-moon a brewin’. Of course, the coveralls would be my high-crass coveralls… the ones I wear to all my important business meetings.

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