• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

I Hate Carrots, Peas, Asparagus Virtually All vegetables, Circuses, All Festivals

 

 

How did everything suddenly become “curated?” I was happier when curators did the curating. Now the instructor at spin class curates the play list. The publishing imprint curates its titles. The waitress explains how the menu at the farm to table restaurant is carefully curated.  The summer festival is curated. The boutique is curated. The pickles are curated. The cupcakes? Curated! The wine list, the pearl jam, the french macaroons. I sing the body curated. Collections, selections, groups of things, bunches of stuff beware. You, too, could be curated.

How does it happen?

And the Jay-Z Song Was On

Work parties are weird. All parties are weird if you’re a writer. They call forth all your anti-social skills. Personally, I lurk by the walls, find one person to talk to, and monopolize them. I don’t drink because of my meds, or maybe just one glass of white wine or bar hill gin and some artisanal tonic. And I don’t smoke either, except in some vestibule and or atop a manhole cover erupting with steam. It’s always great when somebody snubs you or loves you or asks about your work.

Have you ever been trapped by a writer at a party?

Hello, It’s Me

 

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I hate to bring this up again, but query letters have gone off the fuckin’ rails of late. First, crazy over-familiarity. Just because you may read this blog doesn’t mean that you know me or more important know me as an agent. It doesn’t mean I love expletives even though I use them, and they certainly have no place in a query letter. It doesn’t mean that you can call me dude, man, or Hey Betsy! It’s Dear Betsy. End of conversation. It doesn’t matter what you read here, writing a query letter is a formal gesture meant to introduce an agent or editor to your work. Short and sweet. Lead with your best foot: credentials, idea, research, story, sources, etc.  Have  a great title. Be polite. And winning.

If you dare, post your query letter and we’ll see what everyone thinks, including me.

 

 

 

Gold Teeth Grey Goose Tripping in the Bathroom

I‘m in the middle of a revision. Ah, revision. Fucking’ revision. It’s all about the revision. Why is it so hard to put on your boots and go back into into the fray. To find the squirrel’s soft belly? To grab the monkey or climbing rope. To rethink, reimagine, regroup. How do clear the static, the white noise, the maw of the garbage truck, the thrum of rain. What is that between your toes, how did you let yourself go? Fill in a character, a trajectory, a chronology, a slow burning fuse you forgot to explode.

How do you go back in?

These Streets Will Make You Feel Brand New

I spent an hour in a B&N today. First, I check the poetry section. The sign of a really good bookstore, as far as I’m concerned, is the quality of their poetry section. I’m looking for breadth and depth. Then, I check if my clients’ books are in stock. Often I’ll photograph them and forward with a note. Sometimes, shelf-elf that I am, I move them to the front tables. And finally, I search for my three little fuckers.

What’s the first thing  you look for in a bookstore?

This Is Not Your Beautiful Wife

Today, I walked by two guys. One said to the other, “Let me get this right, you have an LA nanny and a New York nanny. Who’s bougie now?”

The other guy said, “No, man, it’s not like that.”

What’s the best thing you’ve overheard lately? Do you use it in your dialogue?

Now I’m Wondering If Your Love’s Still Strong

Found an abandoned diary, from a few years ago, abandoned after just a few pages. It started as many do, with a solemn promise to write every day. I don’t know why some diaries take and others don’t. Those few pages talked about wanting to write the Bridge Ladies book. Just my first thoughts about what it could be. That was mind blowing. The other pages were about an amazing conversation with my daughter, which I had totally forgotten. And which makes me sort of sad for failing to record so many more. I started a new diary a week ago, which is a dedicated project diary. I wonder how quickly I’ll forget all about it.

Do you love and leave your diaries, or are you loyal?

I Can See Clearly Now the Rain Is Gone

“He’s got a great nose for story, but he wouldn’t know a telling detail if it bit him in the ass.”  I heard a seasoned editor say that about a journalist over thirty years ago.  I never forgot it. I was just beginning to learn what telling details were, but what I wanted to know was whether the writer knew this about himself.  Or did he have a blind spot. Maybe he was more forest than trees. How do you know what your bad at?

What’s your blind spot?

My God What Have I Done

Tomorrow, I’ve been invited to give a reading at a bridge club and then play bridge with the members. I don’t think any other author that I know of has ever had to prove themselves at card table. Like for three hours. The good news is that Bridge players really want to play more than hear me gas on, so the reading will be super brief. The downside is that my game isn’t all that good. Next, a woman making a documentary about Bridge is interviewing me before the whole thing gets going. I’ve always wanted to be a talking head.

Are you ready for your close-up?

You Are My Love and My Life, You Are My Inspiration

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Guys! A package arrived today. Inside was a copy of The Bridge Ladies (UK edition, ahem) specially stamped with one of the world’s most illustrious booksellers logos: Shakespeare and Co, Paris. It was sent to me by one you incredibly beautiful mental patients who hang out here at The Lerner Institute for the Chemically Imbalanced. I don’t want to embarrass her, but since the envelope was thrown away before a return address could be procured, I have to publicly thank NOVEMBER. Thank you so much. And if anyone else wants to start sending gifts, don’t be shy.

What’s the best gift you ever received? Material gift.