Just finished my last reading on this mini-tour. I finally caved and got a Kit Kat. I’m crashing. It’s hard not to hate on myself. In fact, the better I do, the more I hate. It’s just an old song, a sad reflex, a folie a deux between me and myself. And it’s not all that bad either, just a familiar old friend showing up when you least need it. No mini bar. MSNBC 24/7. A young woman asked why I went into publishing instead of becoming a writer. Why did I become a bicycle instead of a fish? I have to get out of this dress.
How am I doing?
I need to get out of this dress.
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Betsy Lerner 
You ARE a writer. You went into publishing and you are also a writer. Congratulations on your brilliant career.
You wore a DRESS? Are we supposed to wear dresses to readings/signings? I have flunked.
You’re one of the lucky ones. You get to work both sides of the aisle. You are not constrained by the rules. “If you do this, you won’t be able to do the other very well.” Nope. That is not you. I second Tina. Congratulations on this – it IS a brilliant career.
You are doing fine, Betsy Lerner.
A dress, huh?
Yes, a friggin’ dress. I can’t explain it.
That joint the other night? Was it good?
Once doubt, negativity, creeps in (emphasis on creep), it’s hard to get rid of. All I can say is you’re a damn good writer and you’ve helped a lot of others with your words and insights. That’s pretty cool.
I hoped you slapped her.
Shit, you’re doing just fine! Enjoy the ride.
Mike, do you take candy from strangers!?!! Don’t answer that. 😉
Hell, I’m even wary of what friends offer! Near the end of wildman musician Todd Snider’s book, “I Never Met A Story I Didn’t Like: Mostly True Tales,” he accepts a joint from a fan and winds up in a coma. Well, maybe it was some kind of powder, but you know what I mean.
You’re both bicycle and fish, and you’re doing great.
I can tell you were wearing a dress when you wrote this. You need to get comfy, then put all your books and writerly & professional accomplishments on a shelf, pour a glass of wine, light a candle, drink more wine and enjoy what you see.
Maybe next time don’t have a Q & A. Many don’t.
You deserved the KitKat. It was a great night! The reading, the Q&A… Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us fishes. And for making us laugh. And for wearing a pretty dress.
Naomi Foner is a screenwriter and the mother of actors Maggie and Jake Gyllenhall. In the 80s when I worked in the film business, I temped for Naomi Foner at her office on the Columbia Pictures in Burbank. This story reminds me of your post, Betsy. One afternoon Naomi came in with her two small children in tow. Upon introducing the children to me, little Maggie squinted up at me and said “Do you always want to be a secretary?”
Betsy, you’re a champ. You have more talent in your fingernails than I have in my entire corpus delectable.
So, did you get out of that dress?