I should go back into therapy. Did I take my meds? What’s that car doing? My charger! No, I don’t give the dog too many treats. A couple making love in the pool. My mother drinking milk from a carton. Howard Greenberg’s blonde hair. When people go in for a handshake and you shame them into a hug. Time not flying by. Time going backwards. Tire pressure. Eye doctor. Why do I resent the people who love me? Does anyone love me? Do I love anyone? Have to get off FB. Need a haircut. Hair! No more bread, pasta, sugar, life. I am my father. I miss my father. I miss Dante. I miss myself. Alex Baldwin. What am I going to get my best friend for her birthday? I have no time to read! The gym! When I snubbed Susie Nankin in the second grade. When I punched Spider in the stomach playing Hearts. When I spun around so fast on a stool, age 8, that the force threw me off and my hot little body crashed into a wall and I collapsed on the sticky floor at the Farm Shop in front of a line of people waiting to pay.
What keeps you up at night?
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