• Bridge Ladies

    Bridge Ladies When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
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Oh No, I’ve Said Too Much



People these days talk about the journey, the process, they say that the journey is all that matters or matters most. I hate the whole idea of that. What’s so wrong with wanting results? With being result-oriented? People say that life is all about the journey. Who cares what life is all about anyway. Just do your fucking work and if you’re lucky enough to conceive of it as a journey, well keep it to yourself. Aren’t we kidding ourselves if we say the result doesn’t matter?  Aren’t we on a so-called journey because we are trying to get somewhere, accomplish something, great or small?

Have I lost the human thread?

13 Responses

  1. Eff the journey. Seriously.

  2. I’m goal oriented and believe that life is a series of personal tests. It’s about the climb. Other people are born and seek to be still and live in the present. It’s nice to live in a world with different kinds of people.

  3. All journeys must begin with a goal in mind. Yet I actually do believe the journey matters. Whether you succeed or fail, it changes your life.

    Maybe I just want to believe that because I’ve failed so many freaking times?

  4. What human thread, and where can I buy one? I think it’s a different form of: try to be in the now, don’t be ruled only by your noodle, smell the roses, etc. All good, but even better when you think of and utter it yourself. Maybe the offensive part is about the others. Like when someone else says: time heals all wounds. Not really, thank you, but I admit it does present an opportunity for other experiences to take place and re-jig the proportions. See, I said it in a way that works for me.

    Results are milestones that let you see where you are. Nothing wrong with that.

  5. This is all that comes to mind:

  6. The whole journey thing seems like some new agey platitude from the past. It just doesn’t seem to hold water anymore. If you don’t aim for some kind of result, why bother? You might as well just hang around and coast.

  7. I think we only think about the journey once we get “there.” Wherever or whatever “there” is for each of us. If we don’t get “there,” then I’m not sure we reflect on it much because we’re so focused on the “there.”

    Now I’m hearing “there is no there, there” in my head.

  8. There’s a beginning date and an end date on our headstones, and an infinitesimal “point” of time in between. And heck, we better make it matter, or what’s the point?

    And then there’s this: life throw’s it’s inevitable curve balls. And we have to reroute. And reconstitute new goals. It’s all part of the journey-process, and it’s all good.

  9. Yeah, maybe. It’s not just one or the other. I think you’re right, results do matter, but if you don’t get off the main thoroughfare on the way to the goal, you miss a lot of interesting stuff. The little desert “museum” with the three-headed snake, for instance. And if you stop at the mythical roadhouse bar with a good band playing decent original material and competent covers, chances are you’ll sniff out the circle of people under a cloud of local weed that makes Humboldt County bud seem like male leaf from the ’60s. So yeah, keep the goal in sight but enjoy the journey while you can.

  10. The journey isn’t EVERYTHING, but it’s certainly important. I think it’s vital for us all to have goals in order to give our lives some sort of measurable purpose, but I also think we need to be flexible in the route we take to reach those goals. If tunnel vision only allows us to see one “acceptable” way to reach our desired destination, it also provides a built-in excuse to give up if things don’t go as planned. We’ve gotta roll with the punches, and enjoy the scenery along the way.

  11. You can’t lose the human thread because it’s woven through and through you weft and warp.

    Nothing wrong with a stirring goal. And I’d rather not out-source my satisfaction (as in ‘Can’t Get No…’) to future results. So yeah, just do the work, play with the metaphors that still have savor (seeing as ‘journey’ tastes of over-chewed gum) and see what happens.

  12. Journeys and goals are like balls. Meatballs. Who would ever imagine that squishing raw ground meat between your fingers could end up so tasty.

    Take the scenic highway, nap during the long stretches and approach the results of your efforts with a pat on the back and a quart of Rocky Road covered with whipped cream. If you never get there eat the ice cream anyway.

  13. The skill is knowing when you’ve gotten results. You can’t always get what you want blah blah blah

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