• Bridge Ladies

    Bridge Ladies When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
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My Mirror Staring Back at Me

Head shot

Guys, here’s my author photo (pre-facelift). My mother hates it, so I figure I’m on the right track.

Be honest, but not brutally honest.

36 Responses

  1. Your mom has to be related to mine, critical minds think alike.

    I’d like to see you looking at me a little more. What do I know, my author pic looks nothing like me.

  2. My Love, this underplays yr beauty — but the humor/wisdom angles come shining through!!!

    Love Bob

    On Mon, Feb 1, 2016 at 5:05 PM, Betsy Lerner wrote:

    > betsylerner posted: ” Guys, here’s my author photo (pre-facelift). My > mother hates it, so I figure I’m on the right track. Be honest, but not > brutally honest.” >

  3. I love everything about it.

    You have nice skin. Pretty eyes. All of it.

  4. Let me take your picture.

  5. To be honest, I’m a complete bastard.
    In the interests of not being brutally honest, I won’t beat myself up over it.

    Your mirror looks a lot better than mine. Although you might want to stand closer to it.

  6. You look beautiful, Dahlink. Humor + wisdom + incipient eye-roll: what’s not to like?.

  7. Betsy. Listen to me and listen closely. I am going to be brutally honest. You, Jewish girl in her fifties, I’m guessing, DO NOT NEED A FACE LIFT. Don’t even think about it. You look great. People, and I mean all people, often, in this modern world, do not know what a healthy, beautiful woman who has lived an interesting life, believe it or not, looks like. Don’t fucking throw me into a panic. You look great, seriously. If you weren’t married and I weren’t married and I wasn’t afraid of the whole New York thing, I would be asking you to hang out with me so I could get a better look at you. Jesus Fucking Christ Don’t Even Talk Like That! Don’t Fuck Around With What Was Given To You! Don’t do it. I look at you and I see an honest woman who has lived an honest life. You Cannot buy that. I rest my case. And I’m turning off my computer. You are stressing me out. I love you. I don’t even know you and I love. Imagine how your kids will feel if you fuck with that face. Don’t do it.

  8. Beautiful. Don’t get work done. You don’t want to look like everyone else. Maybe a little Botox?

  9. You are beautiful. Everything important is in your face. I can’t wait to read the book that your face wrote.

  10. Love it. Dig the spot on lighting.

  11. You look like you.

  12. OH MY GOOOOOD! it is so GREAT!!!!!!

  13. Captures your wry humor beautifully.

  14. Lovely and nobody’s fool, that’s what it says. While I am slightly yearning for your gaze, I can live with the frustration and read the book instead.

  15. I like it. It’s not the cliched author photo. It captures what I perceive as your snarky, but basically kind nature. You look like you have secrets, but not in a phony dark way. It has qualities that are precisely what makes a mother nervous about her daughter. Go with it.

  16. It’s soooo you and I don’t even know you. But actually I do, we all do, in a way.
    But what do I know about author photos. When I needed a headshot for my column (the paper I’m with now doesn’t require one) I stood against my hall wall and my daughter draped her scarf around my neck. She said it made me look softer. If I was any more softer I would be a lump of fat cells on the hall floor. Wait, I am a lump of…..oh forget about it.

  17. It’s great. You look great. I think it would be better if you were looking OUT instead of up/away, but obviously YOU like that or you wouldn’t have picked it. I’d say don’t stress about it, but that would just be silly of me.

  18. I think your photo is adorable.

  19. Doesn’t look bad, but it does not look like you write. It almost looks as if this person would be a candidate to buy a large bridge in Brooklyn.

  20. I like the looking away, I like the jacket, I like the wryness, I like your hair. Don’t you fucking dare get a face lift.

  21. This shot is perfectly whimsical whereas your other author (?) photo was not. This one captures what I “think” I know about you, quirky, self-deprecating, with a hint of “are you fucking kidding me?”

    I wish I could take a photo like this, with an expression of “a picture is being taken but I don’t care a picture is being taken” look. I get all tensed up and that’s what shows up.

    Love this.

  22. This totally sums you up: from that ubiquitous necklace to a hint of a smirk to breaking the rules by looking away from the camera. Fabulous. And your facelift comment had your BS humor all over it. 😉

  23. A little too soft and lopsided, like you’re looking slightly askew at a clock because you have somewhere else to be and the freakin’ photo shoot is taking too long. Or maybe a parakeet is flying around the room. The background should be a little lighter to show your hair better and let your jacket/sweater stand out a bit more. The left side of your face is a little too shadowed. Sit back and look at the photo — where does your hair end and the shadow begin? That’s just composition criticism — you look really good! I like that your wise and beautiful eyes are visible behind the lenses, no glare, your hair is perfect and in no way do you need facelift.

  24. I like everything about it, from your wry expression to the way the rather soft light falls off into shadow.

  25. You look adorable and up for some trouble. **Respect**

  26. Perhaps indigenous peoples had a better sense of photography, convinced it would steal parts of one’s soul. My fear of that lens makes me a poor commentator except for this: a talented photographer WILL create a shot you will like. If this one isn’t pleasing you, keep posing.

  27. I love everything about you and this picture and that shirt under a shirt and that off-camera look and that “pre-face lift” joke and the lighting and the fact that your mom doesn’t like it and the whole damn thing, so if you’re trying to please me, I’m pleased.

  28. You look like you live in Brooklyn and know a lot of shit. Just my type.

  29. You look like someone who would be fun to know.

  30. Love. It.

  31. OMG I knew it. Jewish girl in her 50’s. Just my type! It’s perfect. How’s that for brutally honest? X

  32. You look wry, thoughtful, ready to take on whatever comes in your path. It’s a lovely author photo.

  33. THere is a lot about this photograph that I like. The lighting is beautiful and it clearly brings out your inner beauty (what a smile) but I don’t like that you’re looking up and away. I like it when I have eye contact.

    I prefer to shoot outside and you know I’m always in NYC so if you ever want me to try my hand, let me know. You won’t even know I’m there. I am stealthy with my zoom. Oh, and don’t worry about compensation. I’d consider it an honor.

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