When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
In the time honored tradition of trashing books I haven’t read, I’d like to call attention to Molly Ringwald’s first short story collection, When It Happens To You. According to the NYT today, her writing skills are on par with her acting ability. Sure, she’s an easy target. Everyone from St. Elmo’s Fire is an easy target. Was Ringwald even in St. Elmo’s Fire? Who really gives a fuck. All of those movies suck and are particularly offensive to me because they are my gen and it shames me. Where are the Easy Riders? Where are the Days of Heaven? None of the actors went on to have careers of any note with the exception of James Spader and Rob Lowe! Am I missing anyone? I heard that Andrew McCarthy is writing a memoir. I hope it’s not about his life. For my money, I would like to read the short stories of Mickey Rourke, Daniel Day Louis, and Winona Ryder.
What actor’s short stories would you most like to read?
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Betsy Lerner 
My! Aren’t we all grumpy and dispirited today! Fuck actors. Fuck short stories. Why is fuck a bad word?
Fuck isn’t a bad word. It’s the best word.
It truly is. It can be a noun, a verb, both transitive and intransitive, adjective, adverb, exclamation, a statement of awe, you name it! There’s nothing Fuck can’t do. Fuck says so much with so little. I wish my writing was more like Fuck.
I don’t think I’d really want to read any actor’s work of fiction. If they wrote about their fucked up lives, that’s another thing.
What’s wrong with fuck?
Fornication Under the Consent of the King, makes sense to me.
One of my favorite sentences in the English language: “Fuck the fucking fuckers’ fucked fucks.”
“Fuck”–as versatile as corn and even more necessary, the word that can do it all (almost).
Tim Curry.
fucking Tim Curry.
Johny Depp
Ed Norton, Kevin Spacey, Tom Hanks.
Ooh, I second Kevin Spacey. And add Jason Bateman and Ewan McGregor.
Oooh, Kevin Spacey would be good.
Alan Cumming
Maggie Smith is my choice. Her incredible career HAS to have at least a book’s worth of tales.
Judi Dench. Fred Ward. Clancy Brown. Helen Mirren. Brian Cox.
And, of course, Morgan Freeman—but I’d only want the audio version.
You’re missing Demi Moore, but you’d have to pay me to read that book.
And Angelina Whats-her-fuck. I’d buy a book of stories based on her Billy Bob Thornton years. Remember the vial of blood?
Daniel Day-Lewis. But who cares? I think it’s endearing that Neil Young doesn’t know if his wife’s name is spelled Peggy or Pegi.
Robert Downey Junior. Alan Rickman.
“What actor’s short stories would you most like to read?”
If there’s any of ’em able to write short stories worth reading, I’m game. No possibilities pop immediately to mind, though.
John Wilkes Booth
Will you marry me?
Love this.
I don’t care about movie actors. I want novels and essays and short stories written by rock stars.
Sharon Stone, Jennifer Connelly, Jack Elam: Just one time.
I want stories by people I’ve never heard of. Though I could be tempted by Mickey Rourke.
Jessica Lange
I’d go back a little, that generation – mine too by the way – just seem too self-obsessed. I’d go for Lana Turner’s short stories with a glass of scotch
Christopher Walken
Short Stories…Danny DeVito .
That’s a low blow, Wry. Funny, though.
James Spader…he is supposedly a very eccentric person with a quirky thought process. I would imagine a book of short stories by him would be very interesting.
Wanted to add that he is also supposed to be extremely intelligent…so the writing would probably not be drivel.
None.
When celebrities publish fiction it irks me. Why should these people get to jump to the front of line? And don’t get me started on children’s books, which, as far as I’m concerned, require a special kind of genius. (RIP Maurice Sendak.)
Anjelica Huston, Robert Mitchum and Emma Thompson.
Sam Shepard & Steve Martin have done it well. Diane Keaton’s book about her mum was decent.
I’d read anything Meryl Streep wrote.
Albert Molina
James Dean. ‘Cause he was a rebel not without talent. Okay, maybe writing short stories would be a giant leap, but I’d be willing to bet my place in Eden that his stories would stand up to any literati of note from the east.
Sean Connery
Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn
Anybody read John Lithgow’s memoir? I’d read that in a heartbeat.
Clooney, Jodie Foster, Bill Murray.
I was going to say I’d read a Drew Barrymore memoir, but apparently she wrote one and I’ve never made the effort to do so. I read Tallulah Bankhead’s. Who in Hollywood has that much personality now? Oh. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Final answer. I’d read anything he wrote.
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