I’m an aspiring writer and am at my wits end. I’m trying to write a novel about life as a scientist (my former life) and I’m getting nowhere fast.
I’m wondering if you provide consulting advice to people such as myself. I could pay you for your services. Please let me know if this is possible.
Many Thanks, NAME WITHHELD
Dear Mad Scientist:
That’s so funny. I tried to write about life as a bitch on wheels (my former life), but I couldn’t get the tone right. Then I tried to write about life as a Rockette (former life) but the sequins jammed my keyboard. I tried to write about life as a Julia Child impersonator (former life) but I couldn’t truss a chicken. Then I tried to write about my life as a Rabbi (my former life) and I prayed with all my soul and all my might and I still couldn’t figure out why this night was different than all other nights or if I wanted or just thought I wanted Jonathan Safron Foer’s new American haggadah. I also tried to write a novel about life as a novelist (my former life) with an eight billion dollar brownstone in Brooklyn or a big audience in France or a nervous breakdown or a bad breath or faith.
You can pay someone to teach you how to write. pay someone to write your book for you, edit or consult. Or go back to a field that yields identifiable results and might possibly move the needle. Like science. WHoever you are, I love you. Turn back!
What is your former life?
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