• Bridge Ladies

    Bridge Ladies Sometimes I think a meteor could strike the earth and wipe out mankind with the exception of my mother’s Bridge club — Roz, Bea, Bette, Rhoda, and Jackie — five Jewish octogenarians who continue to gather for lunch and Bridge on Mondays as they have for over fifty years. When I set out to learn about the women behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, and most of all the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
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It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin, or Else it Gets the Hose Again

This is where I usually write snarky things about actors and their self-indulgent projects, but this year the Oscars were really tame/much more boring than usual. Plus I didn’t see many of the films. Betsy’s kid, a future Hollywood power player, won our Oscar pool with 10 right answers to my 4, so next year she’ll likely be reporting from this space. Tonight’s red carpet trends: bringing your mom as your date, pale, pale white skin, suntanned white skin, side-sweapt hair and giant buns on the ladies, large foreheads and tuxedos on the men. Did Angie endear herself to you tonight or was she badly in need of some blotting papers? Did anyone read The Descendants in hardcover? Was Melancholia robbed for Best Picture? -Erin Hosier

28 Responses

  1. The Oscars were a little boring this year, but your song lyrics made me me happy happy. I got 18 right, but still lost the pool — my neighbor, Bonnie, chose 20 of the right answers. Meryl! Who knew!

    I’m about 2/3 of the way through The Descendants and it’s fabulous. As is the author interview in the back.

    It’s hard to be sad for George, as he seemed pretty happy with his own gold statue in the seat next to him…

  2. The best part of the night was that Angie’s right leg got more than 6,000 Twitter followers in like 10 minutes. (Her jealous left leg had a sort of Edith of Downton Abbey hissy fit, I heard).

  3. Oh gosh I forgot to watch the Oscars! Must catch up with Angie’s right leg it seems.

  4. I’m always Team Angie. She can do no wrong in my book! After seeing the winners I feel like I should go to watch the Artist, but instead I’m going to see Contraband tonight (Marky Mark, Giovanni Ribisi, things blowing up… rad!)

  5. I never watch award shows, but I always Google for best and worst dressed. I can’t stand Angie. I watched her for about five minutes in something a few years back and that was it for me. She swooped in on a chandelier or something, very unconvincingly.

    I watched The Dead Detective the other night. Eileen Brennan, one of the co-stars, is way more fabulous and talented than Angie will ever be.

  6. I am all for giant buns on the ladies.

  7. This was the first time I’d watched the Oscars since Whoopi Goldberg hosted.

    I figured I’d be able to see the Best supporting Awards before going to bed—I had no idea they’d streamlined it so much. I liked it.

    The Cirq was excellent,, the mind reading bit was funny until the dog, and there were two uncredited cameos by Benedict Cumberbatch, which made me smile.

    And I loved the writer who posed like Angelina and couldn’t, quite.

  8. Oscar? My parents had a dog named Oscar. He was a weenie-dog. He was entertaining.

  9. I didn’t watch. I woke up this morning and heard that Woody won. He didn’t show again, right? I adore that man, setting aside the fact that he married his daughter. But, seriously, that’s the kind of statement I think takes balls to perform. Apathy in the face of celebrity.

  10. She was badly in need of a blotting paper. How did Nick Nolte get so old? Billy Crystal was also sporting a huge forehead but his sense of humor was intact. “Millionaires passing out gold statues to other millionaires.” I was rooting for the tattoo girl but knew she didn’t have a chance. I lost the pool

  11. I was very very glad to see Angie’s leg, which looks muscular and healthy, because her arms were so skinny I was concerned and had to administer several biscotti to myself and go to bed immediately.

  12. Oh – didn’t notice The Leg until everyone else got excited. I was too busy considering the construction of that dress: the sharply folded velvet and that little tie belt were masterfully coordinated. I might adapt some of those details into one of my own creations — without the thigh exposure, of course.

  13. Twigs, arms and legs like twigs. Am I jealous because mine are trunks?
    What would make you say that?
    Timmmmmm…ber

  14. Who were you wearing?

    I was wearing a 15 pound beagle splayed across my stomach, and Girls Scout cookie crumbs, not sure which Girl Scout.

    I was more surprised by JLO’s near slippage than Angie’s leg. And frankly, Melissa McCarthy’s legs between Billy Crystal really stole the show.

  15. Last night, I spent four hours viewing the Oscars for the first time. It was not an experience I plan to repeat. What it did do, however, and which just might tempt me to view them again, expose me to several foreign language films I’d not seen and shorts I knew little about (animated, live action, documentary, That I found exciting.

  16. I turned it off after Billy’s intro song and dance. I just got New York Diaries — the book, the actual solid-objecty thing — and I spent the rest of the night reading in bed.

    I’m not watching the Oscars until they make of movie of my memoir and Sandra Bullock is playing me and is up for Best Actress.

  17. I practically read it in hardcover. It was Spring 2009 and I was living in Mexico, in NYC for a long weekend and starved for American culture. I wandered into Strand, found it on a table of employee picks, took it back with me to my little island in the sea and had devoured it before I could even start to miss dark chocolate and close-toed shoes all over again. It’s a great little piece of writing and the movie truly honored it.

    I got 10 right, too, but the winner in our circle got 18.

  18. The Oscars were a big pile of nothing here in France until this morning when it was all the talk around the wine coolers. Now they seem to think it’s further proof that they are the greatest nation on earth. The presidential candidates are releasing their press releases as I type.

  19. I never want to hear about the The Help either as a movie or the book ever,ever again.

  20. I read The Descendants on Kindle and I haven’t seen the movie. That counts, right? It’s a great book. She was a Stegner Fellow, ffs.

  21. I actually had renewed interest in the awards this year because I saw–and enjoyed–five of the flicks up for best picture. (I spent an inordinate amount of time at the movies in 2011. I’m calling that “writing research,” thank you very much.) I thought the opening video montage was a hoot, giving me high hopes for the rest of the show, but the remainder was ho-hum.

  22. I loved how much French and Fat there was on the stage. Not enough women, as usual, but a couple of them at least were fine and curvy (I’m NOT looking at YOU Angelina).

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