• Bridge Ladies

    Bridge Ladies When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
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Now You Won’t Stop Calling Me, I’m Kinda Busy*

Good god, how do the bloggers do it every day? I know people who get paid to do it, so that’s one thing, but right now I have a fever and some kind of all-over body ache and I can’t even keep the goldfish down. (The ones by Pepperidge Farm, not the kind that silently judge you while you make love with your spouse.) Anyway, I wanted to at least say hi and leave you with something, anything, to keep you hanging on till Lerner gets back.

These images are from a website called Better Book Titles by a comedian named Dan Wilbur, who was bummed everytime he went to the bookstore to browse and couldn’t tell from the cover or jacket copy what the heck the book was supposed to be about. So he made new covers so America could get the gist. Some of them are funnier than others, you know, but this is the best thing I saw today through my fever haze.

Is The Girl With the Pearl Earring Tattoo worth reading? Cause when books get this popular I simply skip em.

* This post was written by Erin Hosier, who has studied under Betsy Lerner for 2666 years.

17 Responses

  1. it is worth reading, but only if you read the da vinci code first. it’s too hard to follow without it.

  2. Since all fiction is irrelevant anyway (or, at best, as relevant as epic poetry or opera) it doesn’t matter if you read it or not except to the few people (the trainspotters of the written word) who take literature seriously. I still hate myself for having read The Corrections and Atonement — there’s no way I’m going near the Stieg ouvre.

  3. There are SFF book covers done the same way here:


    I laughed out loud about so many of them. 🙂

  4. Wow. I didn’t even know I needed that this morning, but I did. My thanks.

  5. Love the Lisbeth character imaginary genius
    PippiLongstocking on steroids

    The fiction hate here is starting to really turn me off

  6. “right now I have a fever and some kind of all-over body ache and I can’t even keep the goldfish down.”

    This is not medical advice, because I’m not a doctor and if I give medical advice, the AMA SWAT team will be swooping down out of the heavens after my ass, but you are drinking liquids, yes? (Non-alcoholic.) Gentle teas with a touch of lemon and honey? Orange juice? Chicken soup? No kidding, take care of yourself. Stay in bed, rest, the world will still be here when you are well again.

  7. I want to get through them just to see what all the ‘fuss’ is about… but the first half of ‘Dragon Tattoo’ is murder to get through. Vanger this, Vanger that. This Vanger, that Vanger… I simply can’t care.

    On its own merit I would have dropped it thirty pages in. Enough exposition to make BEE blush.

  8. What kind of elitist arrogant envy does it take to ignore a book/books simply because 27 million vulgar, common, stupid people in 41 countries enjoyed it/them so far in 2010.

  9. The Dick-tionary one fit perfectly into my day of dealing with the phantasm of superlative, vocabulary-spewing pomposity.

  10. By the way, hope you are feeling better. And a bit of advice. Better put those goldfish in the other room. Not the Pepperidge Farm kind.

  11. Feel better, Erin. ( I love it when people say this to me. Like I’ve got control of my wretching and I’m just slacking off.)

    Thanks for the laugh.

    And Bill…please bite me and the same goes for the other gazillion other vulgar people who mostly read this book because other morons did and because the guy is dead. Books written by recently dead people are always such a hit.

    • Oh, my, Sally, I’m surprised that a person of your superior intellect would condemn a “Gazillion vulgar morons” as a group rather than assessing us as individuals. That’s just not politically correct. The next thing we know you will have all of us in concentration camps.

      The “dead people” comment I’m afraid shows you’ve sprung an envy leak. But rest assured, I will rush out and buy your book immediately after you die.

  12. oh, just ignore the churlish folk, erin. i do.

    that site is very funny. i particularly enjoyed the alternate title for Ulysses and spit out my wine.

  13. Faulkner, he dead; Balzac, he dead; Plato, he dead; James Joyce, he dead; Hemingway, he dead; Fitzgerald, he dead; Marco Polo, he dead ( non-fiction with magnificent embellishment!; Nin, she dead; Wolfe, she dead; Wharton. she dead; Dickens, he dead; most of dem bones, dem bones molding in the grave, dem bones, dem bones, all dem dead can’t read, can’tsee, don’ read em; dem bones dem, bones . . . .

    I read all three of Steig’s books and liked them all.
    How about a little imagination people. Sick of fiction? You must hve stopped watching th news….
    Well then ,there Capote and he done both; but he dead…dem Capote bones….dem. Read a few books that I didn’t car for, but I REALLY HATE MYSELF FOR KILLING MY PAPA. GEEZ….

  14. Some of those “alternative titles” are hilarious.

    I usually skip extremely popular books as well. It’s not that I’m a literary snob… but why waste my time when I can just wait for the movie? Maybe Julia Roberts will be in it.

  15. Some of those “alternative titles” are hilarious.

    I usually skip extremely popular books as well. It’s not that I’m a literary snob… but why waste my time when I can just wait for the movie? Maybe Julia Roberts will be in it.

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