• Bridge Ladies

    Bridge Ladies When I set out to learn about my mother's bridge club, the Jewish octogenarians behind the matching outfits and accessories, I never expected to fall in love with them. This is the story of the ladies, their game, their gen, and the ragged path that led me back to my mother.
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Ugly Betty

Sorry if this is off topic, but unbeknownst to me there has been quite a bit of ink spilled about Betty Draper, Don’s Klaus Barbie wife on the brilliant television show Mad Men. Just today a big defense of Betty appears in that little blog trying to get established which I’ll link to here in a show of collegiality.

In my view, Betty is a menace who besmirches the hallowed name. I state my case:

She is married to the greatest sexual predator ever created for television since Dick Van Dyke and she is anhedonic and orgasmiphobic.

She hates her children. The girl for being chubby; the boy for having a penis.

She rides.

She doesn’t really inhale or smoke convincingly on a show where the water cooler could take a more authentic drag.

She doesn’t blink.

She’s a C.T. as we used to say at Amity High.

She doesn’t hold a candle to Gena Rowland, Shelly Duval, Mia Farrow, or Carrie Snodgrass.

She’s racist.

She’s obvious.

She doesn’t get Don the way I would.

12 Responses

  1. Finally, someone who truly understands Dick Van Dyke.

  2. She’s also phony, manipulative, evil, and one of those deeply stupid people who mistake shallowness for intellectual clarity.

    Oh, wait. That’s Sara Palin.

  3. PRUDE, n. A bawd hiding behind the back of her demeanor.

    — Ambrose Bierce

  4. I suppose I need to stop writing so much and watch more TV. I’m lost on this one.

  5. Since my son left for college in August, I have turned on the TV four times. So I must know, Betsy, is this thing really worth the necessary effort to learn how to use the remote? And it makes me curious as to what other shows you think have redeeming value. Or is it Jon Hamm or nothing?

  6. Hamm Hamm Hamm Hamm Hamm

  7. From my position in the middle of the long line of women who’d like to be Don’s next mistress, I see Betty’s departure as a Big Problem. Without her, how am I going to be his mistress? I don’t want to date a newly single Don; I want to cheat on Betty with him. I want to drink big fat guilty Manhattans and wake up in the morning at the Plaza, where I’ll order room service while wearing a black slip and smoking a cigarette. I’m afraid that without Betty, Don’ll meet an awful fate: he’ll end up with that earnest Maypole dancing elementary school teacher and become sincere and loving. Gack.

  8. Don will have an affair with Betts behind the Maypole girl’s back, while she, said Maypole girl, is taking better care of his daughter than his bitch x wife.

  9. CJ: I adore you. They need to hire you to write that episode.

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