“Keep your day job,” was the working title for The Forest for the Trees. In fact, it’s the title I sold the project with. Obviously, what I meant was that you can’t expect to make a living from your writing alone. The percentage of writers who do is infinitesimal. The title was too negative and no longer reflected the book once I finished it, but there’s something in that title that I want to talk about.
I’m assuming many readers of this blog work full time jobs and write “on the side.” That would describe me. I think I may be less frustrated than many because my “day job” involves what I love most: writers, writing, books, editing, etc. But it’s still really difficult to turn off the job and indulge my own creative impulses. This is why I’m one of those pre-dawn writers. I work best before anything or anyone else crowds my brain.
When I worked at Simon and Schuster, there was an assistant who will go unnamed (Rick Moody) who reputedly wrote most of his first novel in his cubicle. The rest of us were outraged that he “could get away with that.” In truth, I was deeply envious that he could put his work first, that he had to. God knows I’ve been writing my whole life, my first diary dates to age 8. And I did put my writing front and center when I got my MFA. I can still recall having my poetry collection spread out on the floor, pacing in my bathrobe, rearranging the collection for days. Oh, that was heaven. But since then, I’ve worked full-time. In other words, I have not quit my day job.
What I’m asking is: if you have a day job, are you in agony where your writing is concerned?
Betsy Lerner 
With me, it’s the guilt factor. (Of course, I was raised Catholic.) I feel repentant when I’m preoccupied at the day job, thinking about my novel or–ahem–trolling my favorite publishing blogs. And then I feel just as guilty at 9 p.m. when the day job has beaten me so far down that I barely have the energy to stare at a blank page. If I can’t find the cure in a seven-figure, three-book deal, I’m hoping there’s a simple pill for what I’ve got.
I’m writing and LOOKING for a day job. It’s a strange pull of needing it but not wanting it.
While I wait, I just write, using the time to my advantage.
I’m a stay-at-home mom, and I sneak minutes of writing here and there. I work the writing around the Momming and the Cleaning parts of my life. Waiting at the kid’s karate lesson is good for a few pages; waiting in the school parking lot, the children’s TV time, the times they’re doing homework — those are all potential writing times. Sometimes I’ll leave the computer on the counter while I’m cooking and write a sentence between stirring this or that.
So for me, it’s not agony as much as frustration, when I want to write and the baby needs me, or when the five year old is pestering me, or days when we have four appointments in four locations stacked end to end, and I know there won’t be any time to either read or write.
philangelus – you have written my story. This is my life too.
I agree with Sherry – it’s all about the guilt for me. Constant guilt. Guilt which should technically be crippling but somehow seems to be my biggest motivator.
Why do I think I should feel guilty if I don’t bash out a few pages of prose (or at least a few lines) every single day? No Idea. It’s not like anyone else cares. I don’t like to look at it too closely actually, just in case I find out I really am that wanky and then start feeling guilty about that too.
But at work I feel bad for not caring about work enough and outside of work I feel bad for spending most of my time on something I don’t care about very much.
I go to a cafe on my lunch break and write. It costs me a lot in coffee and snacks but it works.
No agony here – lots of emails home, sticky notes, voice memos on the phone, and everything else needed to maintain a sense of sanity while in the diamond mines toiling away with Sleepy, Grumpy, and the rest of the Dwarves!
I often bring the laptop in and work on my writing at lunch. Luckily, I also work for a really great, very relaxed company that doesn’t mind me taking a bit of time here or there to jot down some notes or send myself an email or 500!
I think the times agony does occur is when I’m immersed in the initial phase of writing, the words are flowing, the brain cells are synapsing like crazy, and all I can think about is my writing. I become quite Grumpy during those periods – and my coworkers well know the warning signs by now!! : )
S
I’m in extreme agony. My frustration has earned me a permanent crease in my tongue where I all but bite it off on a daily basis. It probably doesn’t help that my day job is far removed from the world of publishing. I’ve been subversively surveying my peers and subordinates and have found (unsuprisingly to me) that most don’t even read. They’re literate, but reading for pleasure, or to expand one’s horizons, is a foreign to them as the Creation fo Adam. Sad…yes?
I’m lucky in that my day job is in publishing–the educational side of things–but when I have some down time, I’ve usually got Google Docs open. Please don’t tell. 😉
I quit my day job.
I quit two years ago, because I was frustrated and resentful that my job afforded me no creative outlet, and my commute left me with no energy to write on the side. The fact that I was working in book publishing sustained me for quite some time but then, one day, it just didn’t anymore.
So now I’m writing, but struggling financially. Will I ever find that perfect balance? Ha!
I’m considering quitting my day job. I have a young son that I’d like to be home with, and I too find myself sapped of energy at the end of the day. I need a little freedom to be creative.
The thing is, I’m not banking on replacing my income with income from writing. I just want to write, and if I make a little money, then great. If I make a lot of money, even better.
Oregon novelist Peter Rock said something in an interview that helped me get over my frustration about being a weekend novelist and a full-time newspaper reporter/father/husband.
“A good writing day is any day where a piece of the clock is given over to the invisible people. In the past I was spoiled, and often had hours and hours to write; now the writing often happens when I wake up and can’t sleep at two in the morning or at five, before my daughter wakes up, or fifteen minutes on the bus, or half an hour pretending I’m not in my office with all the ways the visible people can reach me turned off, shut down, disconnected.
“I want to believe and to travel. Sometimes a good writing day is an hour of madly scribbling, vistas opening up ahead and inside, landscapes and synapses of some person rushing at me, and the whole rest of my waking day I carry that like a charm, knowing there’s more and that I’ve been in touch with the invisible again; sometimes a good writing days is ten minutes of crossing out a paragraph or adding a comma; sometimes a good writing day is half an hour of daydreaming with not a word to show for it.
“There are no bad writing days; even those that seem the worst are leading us onward, only in ways that were not expected, perhaps even slower than we believed we desired.
“What could be better than that?”
http://therumpus.net/2009/09/the-blurb-10-managing-writers-in-the-workplace-a-guide-for-employers/#more-33252
I quit, and stayed home to write. No it doesn’t pay the bills yet LOL but being at home gives me the freedom to manage the other income streams to make up the difference.
The best part is, if a great line or plot twist or any idea comes to me, I *can* drop everything and turn to the writing and put it first when it wants me, even for hours at a time. That’s made all the difference. That’s worth all the sacrifices in the standard of living, even.
Not so much agony as depression – but I’m in several of the situations described above. I have a job that has no creative outlet, in a field I’d desperately like to leave, and it’s not even a real job – it’s a temp job – so not only is it difficult for me to focus on writing when i get home at 8 at night after an interminable subway ride, but i’m also forced to spend some of that precious free time seeking a job in a field I no longer want to be in, so that I can continue to pay my bills. I’m also trying to study for the GRE and get ready to go back to graduate school, because that is one way I can change what’s going on in my life. In the meantime, I keep a little sign over my desk that reminds me that every day I don’t write something is another day I’m just an [insert soul-sucking profession here]. I start with small goals – write 500 words this week; write for five minutes on the subway every day; spend an hour on saturday morning before I get out of bed. It’s hard, but it keeps me going.
I, too, am lucky to work in the industry that I love: publishing. I’m surrounded by amazing books and it’s incredibly inspiring, while simultaneously making me envious of all these published authors.
But, it’s motivating! I carry my novel around on a flash drive and whenever I can find time, I write or edit.
Most of my non-writing work is with music: performing, choir directing, and it does leave time free during the day. I have worked part time at a café during the last year for extra income with a child in college. I wish for more time and I find I begrudge the emotional demands the choir job makes. Performing, on the other hand, seems perfect companion work for writing; you get up on stage and let it out and then you’re done, and for me that seems to feed the writing self.
And we’re glad Rick had his priorities straight!
There are times I put writing above everything else, and then, there are times I walk away from it for a while.
I resigned from my teaching job two years ago to write full-time. ( I taught English in an Alternative school for fifteen years.)
I wasn’t burned out with teaching, it was just that my writing was becoming such a big part of my life that I decided to just put all my energy into it.
I don’t take it for granted that, at the moment, I’m able to write full-time. I treat it like a job and work more hours than I did when I was teaching, all summer long, too. And I know there are no guarantees.
I was blessed enough to get a full time job as soon as I graduated as a technical writer.
Funny thing is, there seems to be a lot of down time at this job so I usually don’t have trouble meeting my word count goals or anything like that.
All my co-workers are awesome and there are no major problems so it’s a great environment for me to grow my story, whether that means writing during down time or thinking about my story while I work.
I’m in agony mostly because my job is so boring and unfulfilling. It helps me write more in my “off time” if I’m not so bored and listless at work.
Writing is my occupation. I can’t call it my job because I’m not making any money from it yet. But it is my occupation. I am fully committed to seeing it through.
I’m a stay at home mom so I don’t have unlimited time to write. I get my words out during naps and late at night when everyone else is asleep. I do have the luxury of sleeping on the job (when the little one is sufficiently occupied with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some Dora coloring sheets) so the late nights aren’t as much of a hassle for me as they would be if I had to get up and go into an office.
When my daughter is in school next year I may do something else. I may reignite my event design aspirations. But I doubt I will ever have a full-time job like I did before kids and writing took over my life. I am willing to do without certain luxuries if that’s what it takes to devote myself to pursuing my truest dream.
I’m a single mom. Always have been. My son has Down syndrome, but he’s 18 now, so there’s much less to take care of on that front. (plus, I don’t do much housework)
I was fired in June – quite unexpectedly – and panicked for about 10 hours. The next day, the van service he uses for transportation to and from developmental therapy offered me a part time driving gig. (kind of a weird aside: I gave my car away about a month before this happend. I went green, as they say, which saves me a TON of $. Now that I drive for this company, I always have a vehicle when I need one. hmmm…)
Anyway…
I decided to give myself a year, and direct my energy toward getting an agent, and getting my book published. Two weeks ago, I landed an agent. So far, so good.
I’m going for the brass ring, man! I’ve been on the merry-go-round long enough:)
I love my day job. In fact, because it is so fun, that in itself is a detriment to writing.
However, I am not in agony. My children are older, my wife has her own hobbies and I given up watching TV and other things. This gives me two hours a day, roughly, to write/edit and what more could a man with a day job ask for?
(don’t answer that question, by-the-way)
Lately, I have been agonizing that because I’m pinching pennies, the scotch bottle goes dry for longer periods of time. THE HORROR.
I wrote most of my first novel in my cubicle. It was either that or go insane. I do not feel the least bit guilty.
It is my number one goal in life to make a living at writing. Whether that means supplementing the books sold with contract jobs or living on ramen in a van down by the river (Okay, so maybe not in a van. My husband is partial to high speed internet), that’s my goal.
And I’m willing to work hard for it.
But seriously… I need a light at the end of the corporate hell tunnel.
Well, I don’t have a “day job” but I am taking care of my son who had an accident a couple of years ago. So I quit my day job, to take care of his needs, like food and shopping and around the house things, and with the rest of my time I write. This helps me because, when I wrote before, it was hard to find time to write; now that I have time, it is because my child needs me. So, guilt? You bet I have guilt. Guilt that I want to write so badly and it is only because of my son’s accident that I have time; guilt that I cannot make my son well.
The making for a perfect obsession!
Oh, yes, I had lunch a few years ago with Ernest Gaines,,,,we grew up in the same area….he on the black side of the tracks, me on the white. What a marvelous man! His advise to me: Write your heart, write it as hard as you can. And then I read a wonderful interview with James Lee Burke (he in New Iberia, La, me in Abbeville, La.) wherein he remarkded that his writing came from a higher power (I know, I know, he used to drink lots) and it is the act itself that is blessed.
All writers, we are the blessed; think that and it gets you through the day!
Doesn’t sound like guilt to me. Sounds like a perfect situation for you:)
Unless I’m misunderstanding.
Had 40 pages for eight years. Got laid off and started writing full time. Had a first draft in six months. Finished the novel in four years writing in the laundry room the dryer pinging through revisions.
Time, money, space–it’s always something. I had to write that book and I did.
I just wrote a blog post about this at http://adventures-in-creative-writing.blogspot.com/2009/11/stressed.html
I would love to write all day, but right now, that isn’t possible. It’s not that I don’t enjoy my day job, It’s actually great fun most of the time. There are days where it isn’t, but I’m sure that would be true of full time writing as well.
I’ve always heard it is dangerous to make your hobby, your full time job. I’m sure there is truth to that, but I’d like to try.
Dude. I just read the first three chapters from Lost In The Sky. Very nice. Suspenseful.
Very cool, thanks much for the comment.
I’m also a pre-dawn writer, and since I’m a morning person, I feel like I’m giving the best part of me to my writing.
I try, often fail, but keep trying, to remind myself that my day job is my material – the setting, the quirky characters and the conflict.
But I’m still in agony — every day.
I work for the CIA so I really can’t say much more than that. Suffice it to say that I have a lot of time to write when I’m all cozy and fully set up for my kill shot.
Yes.
I lost my job in March. I looked for another, and went dead broke. The day I was literally going to be homeless, a friend stepped in, found me a cheap place, and said he’d support me until my book is sold (it’s on submission right now.) I’m working on the sequel now, and because I feel like I owe him so much, I take it as seriously as a day job. I write from 8am to 2am. It is pure heaven. I am broke – he gives me enough to eat on, pays rent, and my phone, but oh my God, this is the best time of my life. He loves my writing and discusses it with me (he’s actually worried he’s interfering in my creative process – nonsense!) I am so thankful. I’m so happy. I don’t ever want to do anything but write. I had hoped and wished for a life where I could write all day. It happened, but not in the way I thought.
It’s a tug o’ war between sustenance and satisfaction, but in some ways, it’s like sticking to a workout regimen, or a no-chocolate diet. I struggle, particularly when I have to travel, but I’ve found a way to persist.
I feel guilty simply blogging, and blogging is a form of writing practice for me. Still, the tension between the demands of writing and of work and of the domestic and that’s another form of work, of the familial and the occasional need for play, all these tensions make for an exciting , if somewhat frustrating, life.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m sure if someone said to me, here you are, you have every single day free to do nothing but write, write to your heart’s content, I couldn’t do it.
I need the contradictions, the distractions, the tension.
Sorry the above was not meant to be anonymous. I don’t usually travel that way.
I don’t have a day job. I’m allowed to stay at home every day and write. IAnd i’s horrible.
But I remember The Good Old Days, back when I had a job I hated. I loved the way it felt to have a Work In Progress. I loved having that as my fall back when my boss made me write a memo to all the guys in the office reminding them to flush twice because he was tired of seeing “floaters” in the executive washroom; or when the CEO’s secretary would hang out at my desk assuming that I would welcome her patronage to tell me that she was much too smart to do this job because she’d taken Honors English in high school; and when the VP of Risk Management bragged to me that he was where he was today because his father went to MIT…being a Writer In Secret made me feel a little superior, and a little subversive. Committing daily Theft of Service was pretty exciting, too.
And then I was fired, and Betsy sold my book, and I had to deliver a ms., and thank dog I had another day job and had to take the Long Island Rail Road everyday: I loved writing on the hour-long commute twice a day, I loved having The Writer part of me in reserve at my job when all about me were getting wound up in office politics. I miss it, now that I “work at home” and only have myself to sneer at.
And after reading all these marvelous comments from so many dedicated writers who work at so many unsatisfying jobs or have such demanding “at Home’ situations, I feel like an even bigger douchebag than usual.
Rick Moody also comes from gobs and gobs of money. I have a feeling the Editorial Assistant gig was just something to do. I’m sure most of us would feel freer to write if we weren’t panicked about money all the time.
Gobs and Gobs… No kidding? Where’s it all from?
I’m fortunate to like my day job. That said, it drives me nuts when inspiration hits during a long meeting, or the middle of the work day, and I can’t run out to go write. I’m still bad at bottling that feeling of “MUST..WRITE…NOW!” When Virginia Woolf was talking about a room of one’s own, she was also talking the free time it takes. Writing piecemeal isn’t quick, and I’ve found that I’ve had to give up a lot in order to spend two hours a day at it.
Um, please don’t hate me cuz I’m making a living as a writer. A pretty good one too. I’m the anomaly, I guess. After years of writing on the side, I eventually got enough freelance work to go 50/50. Two years ago, I quit the day job and now write full time, co-support a good size family (with kids in college to boot) and occasionally even buy new clothes. Am I saying this just to brag? Not really. I j believe if you have something marketable to write about, you stand a good chance of selling your work. I’m fortunate though – I have no aspirations to write fiction and non-fiction is much more conducive to making a living . Dream on, fellow writers. There is money to be made.