• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

It’s These Expressions I Never Give

I am aware that I use this blog primarily as a place to work out my problems and give voice to the exquisite agony of writing and publishing. And that I indulge a particular  kind of melancholy that infuses much of my day and relationship to writing and to art. But over the years I’ve had some peak days that I would be remiss in not mentioning.  When I got my first promotion, when I received the Tony Godwin prize for editors under 30. (Yes, I was once under thirty.) When my author and friend Kim Wozencraft  got a million dollar film deal for her first novel and we went to the Brasserie and ate steak and drank martinis. (Later at the office, I puked and fell asleep under my desk.)  When two books I had edited (Prozac Nation and Autobiography of a Face) were well reviewed  on the same page of the New York Times Book Review and both of their careers took off (both books still in print). Working with Temple Grandin. Selling my own book and buying a Cartier Tank watch. And yesterday at the BEA.

Neil Young and Patti Smith in conversation at the BEA in front of  1,300 booksellers and publishing people and book lovers. I got to sit right up front, hang in the green room, go in Patti’s limo and touch Neil’s poncho.  They were amazing, funny, warm, sweet, real. One story from the conversation: Neil talked about how his dad, a writer, typed on the third floor of their house every morning and that no one was allowed up there. So I went up all the time, he said, and my dad would say, Hi Windy, his nickname for being super talkative. I like to imagine that:  a boy growing up in a house punctuated by the clacking of a typewriter. And a benevolent father.

Tell us about your peak days as a writer. (Tomorrow back to gloom and doom, I promise.)

And So Become Yourself

I spoke to graduate students at Columbia today. The usual. How to find an agent, how to put a proposal together, how to turn your dissertation into a trade book. How to write a query letter. To attach or not to attach pages.  Make multiple submissions or not. All the important talmudic questions in the great book of publishing life. Walking through the campus, I gave a nod to the staircase that leads to Dodge Hall, home of the writing divisions. I still remember my first day of school, intimidated beyond belief, attempting to look cool and like I knew where I was going, when I tripped and was splayed out on those steps. Before I could even tell if I was hurt, I popped back up and hoped no one had been looking. The fall caught up with me later, or it foreshadowed greater collapse to come. But I always remember that fall, the symbolic freight it imported on a young woman thrilled out of her mind to be attending an MFA program, to starting her life after a disastrous undergraduate careerl

Now, twenty seven years later, me in a suit, me in knock off Prada’s, me with hubs and daughter, me with a fuck wad of information about how to get published, me climbing the stairs and handling it. Me telling the young man in the back, that he should throw himself into his writing when he asked what was more important: putting all your energy into writing what you believe in or expanding your platform through social media. I don’t think I said follow your dream, but I meant it.

Who were you then and who are you now?

For A While Maybe Longer

Everyone keeps asking me what I think of Girls, Lena Dunham’s new television show for, by, and about twenty-something women and women who remember what their twenties were  like.  They assume I will REALLY like it. First, I fucking hate it when people makes assumptions about what I will and will not like. (I hated Welcome Back Kotter, ET and Joni Mitchell.) Then, I feel suspicious; why are they assuming I will like it so much? In this case, obviously Lena Dunham’s size twelve body is to blame, then her “quirkiness,” her dysphoria.   I had an allergic  reaction to the show at first. But I kept watching, mostly out of jealousy. Lena Dunham is, like, 25 (I’m not going to pedia her, you can look it up if you care). And now ,five or so episodes in,  I’m really liking it. It asks you to like it on its own terms, unlike most half hour comedies that will  go down on you they’re so desperate  for approval. Not Dunham, she takes off  her clothes and drops her drawers, but you don’ t really know what makes her tick or what she’ll say next. I think that’s what I like about it: it’s not completely predictable.  She’s a really good writer, too, god damn her. And a really good director.  How! How! These kids today, they’re so fucking talented.   My college age intern admitted that he watched it, called it a guilty pleasure, and then asked that he not have to talk about it.  Say no more.

What book, tv show or film are you insanely jealous,  or:  why am I not Lena Dunham?

Ain’t It Hard When You Discover That

FIRST PRIZE: Didion (Helen Mirren) and Dunne (Anthony Hopkins). They always write in the nude (she wears heels) and have high tea at 4 and a celibate relationship.
RUNNER UP: Dear Madame HBO Prez: Your contest intrigues me. How about a sexy, dark flick about the complex relationship btwn. Susan Sontag (Susan Sarandon) & Annie Leibovitz (Meryl Streep) for your next project? Yes, Annie writes books, too, and Susan’s, well, she’s a legend. Just thinking..
DISHONORABLE MENTION: Well, what about a work in progress? The relationship between B Lerner and J Donatich – filled with varieties of religious experience, ambivalence, food, loathing, and trees. A child and a dog. Not to be missed.
MISERY: Tabitha and Stephen King. He’d be the box office name but she’d be the star. It’s clear, from his alcoholism to his car accident, that she’s a force to be reckoned with. Plus, I’d love to see the inside of their home.
JUST BECAUSE: The irascible ghost of Samuel Clemens appears to a wannabe country singer, and guides her to fortune, fame, and an unrequited love that spans the ages: NEVER THE TWAIN SHALL MEET: THE MARK AND SHANIA STORY.
Thanks to everyone who participated in the contest. Will the winners please send me your snail mail address to askbetsylerner@gmail.com and you I will send you a treat.
This week I’ll be reporting from the Book Expo, the industry’s annual book trade show, the goal of which is to score hot galleys and tote bags. I’m not that great at it to be completely honest. I’m a lot of things, but a schnorer I’m not. I think it’s connected to not feeling particularly entitled. I’ve always admired and been disgusted in equal measure by people who seem to feel entitled. And I’ve often wondered how this relates to writing. Some writers can actually presuppose interest in their work, others strive to believe that  someone somewhere will care, and most spend thousands in therapy coping with imposter complexes and the like.
What about you??

As The Evening Sky Grew Dark

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Interviewed a new intern today. A college junior. Jesus, those were the worst years of my life. I never thought I’d make it to 50 and I never thought I’d like it. But damn if doesn’t beat walking around Washington Square Park in a quasi-suicidal state without a clue as to the nature of my depression, or how to get treatment, all to a Bob Dylan soundtrack that played endlessly in my head while watching the human parade. Henry James’ Portrait of  Lady was assigned for one of my English classes. I went to St. Mark’s Book Store to find a copy and in my usual daze bought a copy of Heinrich Boll’s Group Portrait with Lady. It was probably the best book I read that year and it was by accident. All I remember from it, all these years later, is the nun investigating the students’ bowels. It’s definitely one of the books I’ll reread in the nursing home, you know, when I’m not playing Banagrams or sneaking out back to blaze.

What’s on your reread list?

Sky Won’t Snow and the Sun Won’t Shine

Fantastic responses to the HBO movie of the week contest. Thank you. A winner will be announced on Monday. Thanks to everyone who wrote in. An embarrassment of riches.

For tonight, I want to talk about perseverance. I know a lot of people think this is the blog for whiners and moaners, and god knows they are welcome here. I mean anything worth doing is worth bitching and moaning about. But lately, I’ve been deeply moved by some writers I work with who have pushed through rejection, dismissal, critical indifference. I’ve seen people work up to the brink of insolvency, who have reinvented themselves, who spent years developing an idea only to see it scooped and then found something new. They truly inspire me.

What’s the best story you’ve ever heard of someone persevering?

Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You

Anybody watching Hemingway and Gellhorn on HBO, when writers were writers and all they had to do was drink and fuck and  fight, in addition to typing? It’s so great to see writers’ lives on the small screen.  I think Clive Owen should play Picasso instead of Papa. I’m liking Nicole as Martha, but the aged Martha is too Benjamin Buttony for my blood. Jesus, I just read on Cheat-o-pedia that she killed herself at 89. Whoa. Oh my,  Hemingway going down on Gellhorm. Kidman breast. This is just way too steamy. Plus cats.

Okay, let’s pretend I’m the president of HBO (which is my dream job) and you are pitching a tv movie about a famous writing couple. Who would you pitch and why?

The winner gets a  SIGNED copy of TFFTT and a bonus book.  The winner is determined by me and me alone since I’m the president.

You’re Beautiful, You’re Beautiful. You’re Beautiful It’s True

While I was in  graduate school, I worked at a literary agency in Gramercy Park. I sat at a desk piled high with slush and every week, after I did the typing and filing, I studiously combed the pile even though it never yielded any gems. One day, as I was leaving, I said to one of the  senior agents, “I’d just like to find something once.” “Yeah,” she said, “tell me about it.” I couldn’t understand her world weariness. After all, she had a roster of clients, surely she knew something about discovering talented writers.

It’s like sex. The longer you go without it, the more your standards drop. One of the worst things that can happen to an agent is that he no longer listens to his gut. Finding great material is difficult, finding great material that should be become a book is even more difficult. Clicking with a writer and believing in your collaborative efforts is also a rare gift. I read three things I loved this weekend. Two by clients and by a writer I hope to take on. I couldn’t believe my luck. And this after a long, dry spell.

What was your last great discovery?

Find Me Somebody To Love

I was never very good at weekends, and long weekends could be my undoing.  When I read in William Todd Schultz’s biography of Diane Arbus that she killed herself on the Monday of a long weekend, I felt deeply sick and sad. Those Mondays in the city over a holiday weekend can be so grim. The city hissing quiet. Things folded up. Movie theaters barely filled, the air conditioning rumbling like dawn’s garbage trucks. And everyone away at some fabulous place with friends and capris and some asshole in a kiss the chef apron grilling swordfish steaks and asparagus. For a while, to combat loneliness, I joined a hiking club on that met on  Sundays. It turned out to be a tight knit group of Holocaust survivors taking 3 mile hikes in a thirty mile radius outside the city. Then, we would take two tables at Bagel Nosh on the upper west side and eat. I don’t know why other people are workaholics, but for me work was my great escape from myself. It still is. This is a post for weekend writers. For every little bit of time that you can steal, that you can protect, that you can work.

Enough. What are you doing this weekend and at what cost?

You Were ALways Waiting For This Moment to Arrive

We call them pull quotes. Quotes you can pull from reviews for the back of the book. Here are a few from today’s NYT for the poet Michael Robbins.  “This man can write.” “It’s a declaration that feels nearly as fresh as anything in Elvis Costello’s first LP or Quentin Tarantino’s first film…this is a linguistic booty call.” “What puts these poems over is their sheer joy and dizzy command.” “Here’s a book to hand the (as yet) nonpoetry reader in your life.” Praise the lord. Dwight Garner has a major bone for Michael Robbins. And Garner is the only critic I read and admire 98% of the time. This review is a love song. And the lines he quotes make you want to run out and buy the book or click through. I just did. Finding a new poet for me is like finding the perfect Tori Burch clutch for most girls. I’m in.

Oh, good morning guys. I didn’t post last night because I working on my erotic novel, Fifty Shades of Beige. What were you up to?

Poetry

Alien vs. Predator

by January 12, 2009

Praise this world, Rilke says, the jerk.

We’d stay up all night. Every angel’s

berserk. Hell, if you slit monkeys

for a living, you’d pray to me, too.

I’m not so forgiving. I’m rubber, you’re glue.

That elk is such a dick. He’s a space tree

making a ski and a little foam chiropractor.

I set the controls, I pioneer

the seeding of the ionosphere.

I translate the Bible into velociraptor.

In front of Best Buy, the Tibetans are released,

but where’s the whale on stilts that we were promised?

I fight the comets, lick the moon,

pave its lonely streets.

The sandhill cranes make brains look easy.

I go by many names: Buju Banton,

Camel Light, the New York Times.

Point being, rickshaws in Scranton.

I have few legs. I sleep on meat.

I’d eat your bra—point being—in a heartbeat.

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/poetry/2009/01/12/090112po_poem_robbins#ixzz1vn1mGMUl