Posted on November 18, 2016 by betsylerner
Tonight at a reading in Rochester something kind of amazing happened. The Q&A turned into a confessional. People were opening up in a very deep way about their failures as mothers, and failures as daughters. It was so painfully clear that daughters never stop seeking approval from their mothers and most never get it. So clear that a woman’s self-esteem is almost entirely based on the messages her mother sends. I felt that we were all, briefly, on a carpet ride. That the whole room went to a place together.
Do you feel me?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 11 Comments »
Posted on November 16, 2016 by betsylerner
Rooty toot toot rooty toot toot we are the men of the institute. Congrats to all the National Book Award Winners 2016. And to the villages that raised them. To those who prepared speeches and those afraid to jinx themselves. TO the hives running down your neck. To hoping that this is your gold night, your velvet dress. To every moment that tipped your way. To getting out of your panty hose and unhooking your bra. I don’t buy it, not tonight, you are beautiful.
Who would you thank?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
Posted on November 15, 2016 by betsylerner
It’s been ages since I added a letter to ye olde asshole file, but two arrived today. That’s a first. Or maybe it’s my mood. Or The Mood. I think most people would think that these letters are really nice. Welcome to publishing 101. Of course they are meant to be nice. Or approximate niceness. Or nice adjacent. But they are really only meant to manipulate and I’ve probably sent a thousand just like them myself. So keep your own god damn file. I just hate the platypus. You know? These are sad dark days. Queen Esther blues. I get these faux invitations and so what, what do I care. Set it and forget it! I’ve always been too literal. Literally.
Filed under: Uncategorized | 12 Comments »
Posted on November 12, 2016 by betsylerner
Posted on November 8, 2016 by betsylerner
I’ve been doing a lot of readings and events lately. And every time the exact same thing happens. In the two hours before the event, I become extremely irritable. It’s super convenient when my mother comes with me because I can take it all out on her. But either way, I feel a kind of free-floating churlishness, my inner monologue is hideous. Sometimes I even scare myself silently mouthing off to people who happen to fall in my path, taking too long fishing for coins in their purse, scrolling on their phone with an obnoxiously articulated thumb swipe, etc. By the time the reading starts, I’m a kitten. Then I get a bag of Swedish Fish on the way home.
What was your worst reading experience (either that you gave or saw).
Filed under: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
Posted on November 3, 2016 by betsylerner
TOP TEN REASONS TO STAY IN PUBLISHING:
10) Gossip
9) Constant bitching
8) What goes around comes around
7) The unexpected
6) Friends
5) Genius adjacent
4) Praise, prizes
3) Royalties
2) Reading
1) Books
Filed under: Uncategorized | 7 Comments »
Posted on October 31, 2016 by betsylerner
I was on a panel about mothers and daughters over the weekend at BinderCon. I have to admit I was dubious about attending, (don’t want to be a member of any club that would have me bullshit) but it was galvanizing. We were four women with entirely different experiences about motherhood. Naturally, I stood for maternal criticism and daughterly low-self esteem. Got a lot of laughs, but was truly more moved by a Jamaican novelist who portrayed a matriarch lecturing her daughter about her lack of worth in their town and the larger world. Also a woman read about her daughter developing Tourette Syndrome. She could barely get through it and we were all with her. She wrote with such clarity and specificity; we were in her thrall.
Do you have a mother-daughter story?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 14 Comments »
Posted on October 30, 2016 by betsylerner
I’ve compared agenting to baseball in the past, but it seems apt now in the bottom of the fifth. You send out a project to 16 editors. The possibilities: get on first with a single modest offer; get on second with a couple of mid-size offers; get on third with a few offers now getting competitive; home-run = an auction, multiple editors chasing, the offers increasing; grand slam:all your dreams come true. Agenting is also like baseball in that you can, and will, strike out. When you can’t sell a book you believe in, when your writer gets called back to the farm, when you question everything you know, it’s all a bright beautiful shit show.
What’s your sports metaphor?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 6 Comments »
Posted on October 28, 2016 by betsylerner
This post is about brick walls. Hitting them. Projects dying on the operating table. On the vine. That fail to thrive. Sixty pages falling off a cliff. A boulder rolled in front of a door. This is about a minute, an hour, a day, a lifetime. This is cuticle time, eyelashes and wine. This is the knowledge that when one door closes, it’s closed. How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? Practice your chord changes. Write a poem. Study a new language. Do not let the engine rust. Do not overtax the metaphor. Do not give up the ship unless the mother’s life is at risk.
What’s more painful? Writing or not writing?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 9 Comments »
Posted on October 27, 2016 by betsylerner
Do you get high? I mean for medicinal purposes, to help with the writing. Are you a pill popper? Gin drinker? Are you on prescription meds? Anti-depressants, beta-blockers, lithium for Medea? How do you get to sleep, wake up, stay up? How do you turn it off, on? Starbucks shots? Are you a sneak smoker, eater, tweaker? Sex addict? Claustrophobic? Writers make great hypochondriacs! If you’re not high on life, what the fuck are you?
What’s in your medicine chest?
Filed under: Uncategorized | 16 Comments »
Betsy Lerner 