Betsy Lerner

Hey, Boo Boo

Posted on August 23, 2009 by betsylerner

Since the only thing more boring than listening to someone’s dream or the plot of their novel is hearing what they did on their vacation, I will keep this brief.

First, and I know the suspense is killing you, I did indeed defend my title as world’s greatest mini golfer.

I was less successful at Laser Tag. As I was about to gun down a small child, he said, “Please don’t shoot me, I’m six years old.” I put down my gun. You know the rest: he shot me in cold blood. Only to make it worse, he called me a “dipshit.”

On the literary end of things, I wasn’t able to read anything for pleasure because I had to edit a novel. Is there no end to my self-sacrifice?

We ended our trip at Edith Wharton’s summer home, The Mount, in Lenox, MA. Favorite anecdote from the tour: Wharton wrote in bed every morning (obviously long hand) from 6-11. She paginated the pages and threw them on the floor when finished. Her servant would collect them, put them in order and ship them off to her editor. Her room, btw, had a view of her formal gardens, lake, forest and mountains beyond. (If my math is correct, that’s five hours of daily writing.)

Last, for those of you (and I know who you are) who remember Judicial Marshall Josh and his judicial hotness, may I introduce White Water Rafting Guide Abe: Twenty-something cross between Brad Pitt and Kevin Bacon. All biceps and wirey swagger. Mirror aviators, a scar cut into his eyebrow, a regimen of bad jokes he delighted in telling, and a Marlboro man.

Abe is such a show off!

Abe's biceps look terrific in this one.

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All My Bags Are Packed, I’m Ready To Go, I’m Standing Here Outside Your Door, I Hate To Wake You Up To Say Goodbye.

Posted on August 14, 2009 by betsylerner

Dearest darling readers of this blog,

I am going on vacation for a week. Well, if you call a vacation schlepping up to Lake George to defend my title as mini-golf champion of the world.

Future posts you won’t want to miss:

How I Almost Came to Blows With A Writer Over the Use of the Past Perfect

I Love My Kindle: Three Editors Weigh In

The World’s Greatest Copyeditor Reveals Her Pet Peeves

Top Ten Lies Writers Tell

What Publishers Nosh While They Read

See you soon, I hope!

Filed under: The End of the World as We Know It, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Hold the Mayo

Posted on August 13, 2009 by betsylerner

It’s funny, but I didn’t hate publishing today. A film contract six months in negotiations got resolved and signed. I got to the swimsuit part of the competition for a highly desireable writer interviewing potential agents. A client celebrated a year of sobriety. Our assistant found a novel in the slush that I couldn’t put down. I read a submission of essays that made me laugh out loud. Helped a client think about a new approach to a project that just might work. Got an orthodontist appointment for my daughter. And, best for last, sold a stunning anthology of poems, yes, poems. Oh, and had a delicious turkey sandwich on rye for lunch.

Filed under: Agent | 7 Comments »

You Were Always Waiting For This Moment To Arrive

Posted on August 12, 2009 by betsylerner

Spent the last two days going over page proofs with a writer. One of my favorite moments in the publishing process is when you see the manuscript transformed into typeset pages. I’ve always had great respect for book designers and all the decisions that go into making a page.

Today our work centered on space breaks. Her book employs three kinds. The small break that changes the subject within the same time frame. The medium break that generally indicates a jump in time. And the large space within the chapter that signals a new time and place, perhaps a new authorial tone as well.

Toward the end of our session, my client apologized for taking up so much time on space breaks. How dare you, I said, demean the space break. What did a a space break ever do to you? If this were a musical, I would now sing out about the value of space breaks.

Suffice to say, and perhaps I say this coming from a poetry background, space breaks are sacrosanct. They offer a rest, a breather, a game changer, a scene change, a time change, a change in pov, tone, or tense. A space break gives the writer an opportunity to take a left where he might have taken a right, add paprika, turn up the heat, or lower the lights. A poet knows that what comes between stanzas is an essential tool in making a poem kill it. Your space breaks as a prose writer are second only to chapter breaks.

This post sings of the so called blank spaces. This post also had too much sauvignon blanc at dinner.

Filed under: Authors, Books, Publishing | 6 Comments »

So You Wanna Be a Rock & Roll Star

Posted on August 12, 2009 by betsylerner

Tonight, at Cake Shop, Care Bears on Fire. Three fourteen year old girls playing the loudest most pumped rock I’ve heard in a long time. Favorite songs: Get Over It, You Can’t Make Me, and a two minute ass-kicking version of Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Full disclosure, the drummer’s dad is my client. But no arm twisiting was involved. I was born to stand against the dank wall of a basement club.

In 1975, with my babysitting money burning a hole in my pocket, I went into Cutler’s Record Store in downtown New Haven. A new release caught my eye. The album cover was black and white. A woman in a white shirt with a jacket tossed over her shoulder stared out unapologetically. I had to have it, though I hadn’t heard of the artist or any of the songs. The album, of course, was Horses. It changed my life.

Filed under: The End of the World as We Know It | 4 Comments »

I Bet You Think This Song Is About You

Posted on August 10, 2009 by betsylerner

A reader writes in: I thought this might be a good question to ask “Betsy the Blogger.” Before we continue, let it be known that Betsy does not like being referred to as “Betsy the Blogger.”

So, I’m writing a memoir on painkiller addiction, and much of my story involves my experiences in “Drug Court”. Proof positive: I attract junkies. And as I’m writing, a nagging voice keeps suggesting to me that perhaps there is a book in the Drug Court story alone… so, a few questions:

First, is it completely solipsistic of me to think about a second book before finishing the first? YES.
And, if it were reasonable for me to contemplate a second or “follow up” book, should I be concerned with how much subject matter I cover in the first? NO.

I have trouble evaluating at any “communication” in isolation. That’s the great existential joke. The writer is often that last person to know if his work is any good, and by that I mean if it communicates or reaches other people. That’s why it’s usually so terrifying to put it out there, worst fears confirmed. I think everyone will agree that it is worse to be met with silence than rejection.

So, is it crazy to think about your sequel before the book you are working on has found its place on the shelf? Yeah, of course it is. But it may also be a sign of mania, and/or what I call the rapture of the deep. This is where you’re so deep into your work that you think everything you see and touch is related to the book. That it’s not just one book, but two, and maybe a series.

Dearest writer with checkered drug history, just remember, one book at a time.

Filed under: FAQ, Writing | 7 Comments »

Feeling Good Was Good Enough for Me

Posted on August 9, 2009 by betsylerner

Many, many thanks for birthday wishes from far and wide. Here’s what I got, loot-wise:

A check from my mother. Ca-ching.

People Magazine renewed for another year from my sisters.

A Miele vacuum from my significant other. Friends, this is a top of the line appliance.

A ring inscribed sono il tuo Dodo from PLS.

And, from BFF, a small antique frame — inside a rusted razor blade. Genius.

And, for once, when I made my wish I didn’t wish for permanent weight loss or Hugh Grant making my movie. I wished for something real.

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Yankees – 13 Red Sox – 6

Posted on August 7, 2009 by betsylerner

I’m not going to vouch for this post. I’m just going to wonder how it is a Jewish girl with no brothers and a father who only watched golf could become obsessed with baseball in the last decade of her life. And that the decade just so happened to correspond with the years during which she became an agent…

And this is where I might lose you if I haven’t already. But I see baseball as a metaphor for agenting. First, there’s the pitch. You know as you’re on the phone describing a book to an editor if you’ve hit the sweet spot, or if they’re just going along, yeah, yeah, send the motherfucker, they seem to be saying through a thinly veiled lack of enthusiasm. Then, once the book is out, a number of things can happen. You can get on first base with a modest offer, you can get a double or a triple with some decent money, or, happy day, you can have a grand slam when you hit it out of the ballpark. And, of course, you can strike out, return the dug out head hung in shame.

Idiotic? Sure. But baseball’s also about hope, about chances and stepping up to the plate, it’s about the beautiful arc of a ball and the ringing crack of a bat. It’s about grown men in uniforms and caps. Uniforms and caps! And the grace of an athlete moving through air. It’s about the loud mouth of a collective New York. And last night, the full moon over the stadium, the lights in distant buildings twinkling like stars, my two best friends, and a hot dog.

Filed under: Agent | 10 Comments »

Mind the Gap

Posted on August 5, 2009 by betsylerner

It became evident early on in my career that I worked with a disproportionate number of writers who suffered from addiction and depression. Coincidence?

Now, when I hear of someone struggling with these issues, I want to run. It wasn’t always that way. I used to be upfront and center. Now, the drowning man terrifies me.

I’m sure you’ve seen me. The girl who stands with her back to the subway wall. I no longer peer into the track. The third rail is always there, magnetic and menacing. But like a child who’s come too close to the stove, I’ve learned not to touch it. And eventually stopped craving it.

Sunday is my birthday and I will celebrate seventeen years of being well, my manic depression miraculously under control thanks to my brilliant doctor, my own vigilance and pure good fortune that medication works for me. Certainly not true for everyone.

And yes, I am dropping a hint that Sunday is the big 49. That’s Sunday, August 9th. I share this great birth date with Alfred Hitchcock and Philip Larkin, and the anniversary of Richard Nixon’s resignation and Sharon Tate’s murder.

Filed under: Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

You Only Make a First Impression Once

Posted on August 4, 2009 by betsylerner

We interviewed a new intern today. She just graduated from college, moved from Florida to New York City to pursue her dream of working in publishing. It could just about break your heart. She was nervous, eager, open. I thought of all the kids I’ve interviewed over the years, the bluster and insecurities, the earnestness and ambition. Once, I asked a candidate if he had any special skills. He looked me directly in the eye and said, “I could kill you with a pencil.”

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