The End of the World as We Know It | Betsy Lerner

Everybody Knows This is Nowhere

Posted on June 16, 2009 by betsylerner

I’m having one of those days when I really want to be Michelle Williams.

Instead, meeting with a BDP, another prospective client, a client whose publisher has turned down his option book, a party at Crown for their new publisher. You know, a see and be seen. Of course, I’m having a bad hair day, which is pretty much every day. There’s really nothing like a publishing party to make you wish for a swift and painless end. I thought about wearing a suit but decided to go with the jeans and black shirt black jacket look. Right?

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My Former View of the World

Posted on June 15, 2009 by betsylerner

Just in case you missed this little piece in today’s NYT business section, it was reported that some people are bringing their Kindles to readings to be autographed. David Sedaris signed one device thus, “To Marty — This bespells doom.” Sedaris also pointed out that he was once asked to sign a woman’s artificial leg. I noted in an earlier post that a pregnant woman asked Heather Armstrong (Dooce.com) to sign her belly. And when I was growing up, my fifteen year old neighbor got her butt signed by Bob Weir. Talk about a coup.

I test drove a Kindle for a week. For me, not useful because I always take notes on my manuscripts. And I still like the so-called integrity of the page. And the page itself. But I was against microwaves, cable tv, running shoes, Post-its, phone answering machines, cell phones, blackberries, etc. I’m not a Luddite, I just hate change. So much so that I’d still rather lug around seven pounds of manuscripts and see forests felled than carry around a device. Well, a reading device.

Anybody out there loving their Kindle?

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It’s So Noisy at the Fair

Posted on June 8, 2009 by betsylerner

Computer, phone and blackberry all malfunctioning this morning. Who’s the caged monkey now? Everything seems to be working again.

Finished the huge editing job I’ve been working on for a book that was dreamed up twelve years ago. I know it’s twelve years because I was pregnant at the time. I remember the dress I was wearing when I met the writer. The child that was stirring within is now a charter member of the Zac Effron fan club and wears black toe nail polish.

Went to my client’s swankified 40th birthday over the weekend. I love it when people ask, how do you know the birthday boy? And I get to say, I’m his agent. Suddenly, I rise or drop in esteem; either way it’s entertaining.

The party was amazing, filled with brilliant, sophisticated people (I know, how did I make the cut?), a rooftop terrace overlooking Manhattan, a harvest moon on the rise. Delicious food, candles everywhere, toasts and goodie bags. It was a perfect party, flooded with love.

Strolling through Washington Square Park on the way back to the hotel, I thought of myself at 18, arriving at NYU hungry for experience, yet just as happy to mostly stand at the sidelines and watch the great human parade.

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Land of a Thousand Dances

Posted on June 4, 2009 by betsylerner

When suddenly Johnny gets the feeling he’s being surrounded by
horses, horses, horses, horses
johnny

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A Horse With No Name

Posted on June 1, 2009 by betsylerner

Yesterday, I watched a hawk circle a body of water, and I began to question what I was doing with my life. And then I felt like I was going to cry when I was interrupted by a young couple with a baby in a knapsack on the dad’s back. They were all wearing the same biodegradable sandals. I hated the lot of them so much I could barely contain myself.

Which reminded me of other things I hate with a passion:

The phrases “back in the day” and “24/7.”
Single spaced manuscripts.
Any sentence that begins, “To be perfectly honest.”
Rejections letters that use “not my cup of tea.”
Query letters that refer to “fictional novels.”
When an editor sends a rejection letter that ends with: let’s have lunch.
Cute fonts.
When a writer says they’ve made tons of revisions and they haven’t.
A certain someone at William Morris who has not returned my call.
The way my mother makes a sour face when you suggest having Japanese food.
Not smoking.

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‘Til Death Do Us Part

Posted on May 28, 2009 by betsylerner

Last night went to the much touted Literary Death Match, hosted by none other than our beguiling Erin Hosier and the kinetic Todd Zuniga. All in the service of a literary magazine called Opium. And from what I could gather twenty and thirty somethings hooking up.

Very fun, as you know mother doesn’t get out much. Hilarious “judges.” Four fearless writers, my favorite Rivka Galchen. Can’t tell if she won because there was total mayhem at the end of the death match when the two finalists battled it out in the final round known as “Poet or Madman.” Never mind the redundancy.

Bottom line: kids still love literature, still love death, sex, and $1 beer. As the woman at the gym said this morning, praising the joy of a hot shower, Hallelujah. Thank you Jesus.