• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

All You Do Is Treat Me Bad

Dear Gap, the advertising slate is pretty full, so please act now!

Dear Betsy,

Did you know…your book, The Forest for the Trees, is out of stock in Australia. Bookstores have to order it from USA. And it has been like that for a few months…it’s not normal, you are losing readers and customers!!

As an author, if you know (from your spy ring around the world) there are public demands for your book, do you have the power to influence your publisher’s decision regarding the distribution of your book?

I know…we only represent a potential of 22 million readers/customers in Australia…it’s not a reason for neglecting us…so, do you mind forwarding my email to your publisher? If it’s not enough we’ll organize a petition. Thanks Betsy.

Dear Nicole Kidman:

This is an outrage. I had heard rumor of a spotty stock situation in NZ and Mumbai, but this is OUTRAGEOUS. What’s worse, come to New Fucking Haven, CT and you won’t find books in the YALE bookstore, the Barnes & Noble near the movies, or at Atticus. My own home town. Every bookstore I’ve ever gone to in the last number of years has not had the book in stock. More galling, every time I stalk the writing shelves (and it can only be described as stalking or skulking), right there in the smack middle of the L’s is Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird, like a poke in the eye. And I really like her book. How then does my darling stay in print if you can never find it, you ask. I believe it’s the internet and piracy. Mostly piracy. But miracle of miracles, I get a check twice a year and it is the sweetest money ever earned. I usually do something fun and kooky with it, like pay my babysitter for a couple of weeks.

Speaking of babysitters, how is Sunday Rose?

Thanks again for the shout out, sister.

Love, Betsy

Where do you get most of your books?

Like a Bird Without a Song

I’ve been whining for a while about being stuck with my writing. Pathetic. Finally, had a breakthrough over the last week (or maybe it’s my meds talking), but I feel that I’ve taken the project a few big steps forward. Mother may I? Yes, you may. And in the middle of all this new writing came the title for the screenplay as if on a silver platter with a great roast upon it. The title not only galvanized me into figuring out what the motherfucker is really about, but it also suggested a new structure, which is like getting a new engine in a car.

How important is a title, anyway? For me, it’s crucial. I won’t submit a client’s proposal unless I think we’ve nailed it. To me a great title can vastly improve one’s desire to read the work. Too many people say, “I’m not good at titles,” or, “won’t the publisher change it anyway?” I beg you: search the bible, poetry, rock lyrics, the yellow pages, titles of paintings, John Cheever’s diaries, look under rocks, couch cushions, four leaf clovers, but find a title that kills it.

When do you come up with your title, before, during or after? Where do your titles come from? Do you try them out on people? How do you know when you’ve nailed it?

I Can Call You Betty

Hi Betsy,
I wrote a query. I got an agent. I wrote a book proposal. I got a publisher. I wrote my 80,000-word manuscript. I’m now in editing hell, but my book is coming out in September and I should be happy! Hard part is over!
Yeah, right.
Now, I must find “famous people” who are willing to read my book and give a quote for the cover. Huh? After climbing all of those mountains I just described, this one is giving me the biggest headache. I don’t know any famous people. I don’t know how to get close to famous people. Help!
Why is this necessary? And how does one go about doing it?
Thanks for any advice…as always, I love your blog.
NAME DELETED
PS–do you still represent NAME DELETED? I think my book would be right up her alley…..
Hey…can’t blame me for trying!!
Dear Name Deleted:
Getting blurbs is the most heinous part of the process unless you are connected up the wazoo. It’s mortifying asking for blurbs. I once saw a galley in a used bookstore in Cape Cod that I had sent out with the letter still inside: Dear Stanley Kunitz, It is with great pleasure that I’m sending XX with the hope that you might offer an endorsement…

The bottom line is that one good blurb can really open some doors, or compel a reader to open your book. Look at newly minted Pulitzer Prize winner Paul Harding’s book, Tinkers. One very sweet blurb on the cover by Marilynne Robinson did not hurt. I may not use Cover Girl make-up because Ellen Degeneres shills for it, but I will read a book because one of my favorite authors blurbs it even if it is another case of log-rolling in our time. Think about how few elements there are to interest a reader strolling through a bookstore crowded with merchandise. A great blurb might grab a reader, it might also grab a reviewer, a producer, etc. They’re like vitamins. They could really help and they won’t hurt.
That said, if you you’re a nobody from nowhere, it really sucks trying to get blurbs. You’re like Oliver at the orphanage: please sir. Hopefully your editor or agent can call in a favor or two. Or perhaps you ‘ll tap into some insanely self-promoting gene that’s been dormant until now and stop at nothing until your back ad is sagging under the weight of so many blurbs. My favorite story of blurbomania involves none other than Walt Whitman who took a line from a letter that Emerson had written and splashed it all over the second edition of his book, ” I greet you at the beginning of a great career. “
Finally, dear writer whose pain I feel, I no longer represent NAME DELETED. But I have a feeling you’re going to be just fine. Let us know!
BLURBS: Where do you stand? As a reader and as a writer?

Chapter Two I Think I Fell In Love With You

Getting ready for the London Book Fair. This entails begging the dry cleaner to do my slacks same day, begging my pharmacist to fill my meds same day, begging the shoe repair man to heel my boots, yes, same day. I also need to put the finishing touches on our agency list of titles we’re working to sell abroad. Get the jackets and quote sheets for my folder. Type up my schedule. File my taxes. And finally, most important, decide what to bring on the plane to read. I want to take the Bolano but it weighs about seven pounds. I think I might bring it anyway. I am so lost inside this book. Like a great drug.

Choosing what to read on a plane is one of my great pleasures. I start to ponder weeks in advance, start to pull books from shelves, make piles, read a few pages here and there. Put some books away, drop into Posman’s in Grand Central, cruise the tables of new books, fiction and non-fiction. I’m curious about The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, and I already bought Elif Batuman’s first novel, The Possessed.

How do you choose what to read, purely for pleasure?

This Will Be the Day That I Die

It’s my favorite time of the year (after Oscars and my birthday): Publisher’s Weekly 2009 sales ranking issue. For me, it’s like reading the racing form at OTB, though I’ve never actually been to an OTB or seen a racing form. I study the list and invariably my eyes widen when I see a title sell far better or worse than I thought. This year,  the #1 non-fiction book is Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue at 2,674,684 copies. The #1 fiction, duh, is Dan Brown at over 5 million. This year the list was pretty predictable, all the usual suspects, no wild cards like last year’s What’s Your Poo Telling You.

Still, some titles that seem worthy of a shout: Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect he Desperately Needs sold 189,412 copies. Call me crazy but I think it’s the other way around. I’ve never gotten up close to a man and didn’t see the big secret right before my eyes. Of course, High on Arrival by Mackenzie Phillips at 171,070 copies is a testament to the sturdy category of celebrity dysfunction. It’s good to know you can count on some things in an uncertain world. I also like the title, The Noticer: All a Person Needs is a Little Perspective at 151,752 copies. Sequel anyone: The Insipider. The Lamer. The Doucher.

The first literary title with some muscular numbers goes to Cormac’s The Road at 605,322. Go Cormac, it’s your birthday.

A revelation to me is a series of books that all have my favorite word in the title: dead.

Definitely Dead: A Sookie Stackhouse Novel (730,013)

Dead as a Doornail: a Sookie Stackhouse Novel (728,144)

All Together Dead: A Sookie Stackhouse Novel (655,046)

Living Dead in Dallas: A Sookie Stackhouse Novel (557, 282)

The author is Charlaine Harris and I officially worship her and Sookie Stackhouse.

Lots of Zombification on the list: Zombie War, Zombie Survival Guide, Pride and Predge and Zombies.

Favorite celeb title: Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea. And Stori Telling by Tori Spelling. They should palm the editorial assistant who came up with that. Seriously.

Quietest book to sell a boat load: Home by Marilyn Robinson (140,000).

And the book I’m reading and loving right now: Let the Great World Spin by Colum McCann (122,757) I think it won the National Book Award.

That’s all she wrote. Have a good weekend. Buy a book.

They Call Me Her

Have you ever met a couple who are about to have a baby and haven’t yet picked out the name, claiming they can’t give the kid a name until they see it? You know, he may not look like a Bobby or Billy. He might be a Preston or a Chandler. Personally, I don’t get it. A newborn basically looks like Mr. Potato Head without the mustache. But whatever it is these parents think they are seeing before they brand their infant forever is akin to work of a novelist trying to name his main characters. You have to know something about your character before you can give him a name.

When I think about some of my favorite names from fiction, it’s pretty clear why they work. The names themselves hold a key to the character’s identity: Dick Diver, Augie March, Jo March, John Self, Oscar Wao, Mrs. Dalloway, Hazel Motes, Esther Greenwood, Lily Bart, Rabbit Angstrom, Nathan Zuckerman, Anna Karenina. They are memorable. How they sound, what they mean, imply, or infer. What is in a name? Everything.

How do you come up with names for your characters. What makes a name memorable? What are you favorite names?

State of the Union

Congratulations to Patti Smith. Just Kids hits the New York Times Bestseller List at #7

Front page New York Times Book Review to run this Sunday: “the most spellbinding and diverting portrait of funky-but-chic New York in the late ’60s and ’70s that any alumnus has committed to print. ..this enchanting book is a reminder that not all youthful vainglory is silly; sometimes it’s preparation. Few artists ever proved it like these two

Congratulations to Temple Grandin’s Animals Make Us Human hits the New York Times paperback bestseller list at #16.

HBO movie “Temple Grandin” airs on Saturday, February 6, 8 pm starring Claire Danes, Julia Ormond (exquisite), Catherine O’Hara and David Strathairn.


Congratulations to Dave Cullen on his Edgar Nomination in the non-fiction category for Columbine, and appearing on over 20 “Best of 2009” book lists.

This blog will return tomorrow to its regularly scheduled posting of mean-spirited, self-aggrandizing, attention mongering, publishing malcontentedness, and potty-mouthed bile to bring to those of us determined to write just a little less hope. But not today. Love, Betsy

Ask The Angels

Publication Date: January 19, 2010

Dear Friends of my blog: It has been my great pleasure and privilege to work with Patti Smith on her memoir of her friendship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I was fifteen years old when I wandered into Cutler’s record store and was captivated by a record cover like none I had ever seen: a woman in a white shirt, suspenders, a jacket tossed over her shoulder, slim hips, and her stare defiant and cool. Horses. I had to have it. From the first line, “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine,” I was blown away and I was smitten. As many say of that record, it changed my life.

Just Kids is about two poor kids, outcasts, who met by chance and became lovers, then friends, and remained soul mates throughout their lives. Their story is the embodiment of a dream of how two artists provided each other with encouragement, ballast, inspiration, and love. Just Kids is a love story, an elegy, and a prelude to fame. The background is NYC in the Seventies: Max’s Kansas City, Coney Island, Horn & Hardart, Warhol’s Factory, CBGB, Scribners, 42nd Street, and of course the infamous Hotel Chelsea.

I hope you’ll get to read it. And tell me any Patti stories if you have them. Or about your own creative soul mates. Your sustenance.

SOmeone LIke You Makes It Hard To Live WIthout SOmebody Else

I wish I had something to say to inspire you tonight, but my tank is low if I’m going to be honest. I know I’m not an ER nurse, but sometimes this work is incredibly draining. Worse, I know that whatever anxiety I’m feeling whether it’s waiting for an editorial response, waiting for money, waiting for an offer, etc. it’s far worse for the writer. I have all these children living in my shoe. When something doesn’t happen for one, it’s bound to happen for another. One writer is getting tons of attention, a fat new offer on her next book, foreign sales galore. Another writer can’t get arrested. And three years from now their situations might be reversed; fickle are the gods of publishing.

This year has also brought even more uncertainty and fear about the fate of books. How many billions of conversations we’ve had about Kindle and Nook and Google, etc. and still don’t  where the hell it’s going. We are obsessed with the question of the future and how to protect our writers’ interests.  My question is: how as a writer do you  get it up in the face of so much uncertainty? How the fuck do you do it?

Tonight You’re Mine Completely

The great paradox of my life as an agent is that I am able to walk through fire for my clients while I can barely ask for anything for myself. 

I have clients who can’t ask for what they need. I try to fish them out of the water and pump their stomachs. I have some who love to ask in a roundabout way. And those who squall.

Does the ability to ask for something determine the chance of getting it? I always remember a line from Rocky Horror Picture Show (I know, again with the high-minded references) when Riff Raff says he wants nothing and Dr. Frank-N-Furter lashes back, “and you shall receive it — in abundance.”

The writer’s life is a limitless series of frustrations. The only thing you have control over is the actual writing. Every other step of the process demands that you ask for something. Will you be my agent? Will you publish my book? Will you blurb my book? Will you review my book? Will you Tweet my book? Will you come to my reading? Will you buy it? Will you read it? Will you like it? Will you fuck it? And most important, will you still love me tomorrow? Is it any wonder we’re all a bunch of nutters?