Authors | Betsy Lerner

It’s only there trying to fool the public

Posted on April 18, 2010 by betsylerner

Hi Betsy,

I enjoy your blog.

I am getting a very high response rate on my query letter. I wrote a kick-ass query letter. One agent told me that, not in those words. I’m afraid my manuscript is a disappointment. I think if you read the whole thing (80,000 words), it might contain the spirit of the query letter. But who reads the whole manuscript? I’ve had about six agents request the whole manuscript, but there responses feel like they didn’t get what they paid for.

Should I write a less exciting query letter? Or, is this just the standard rate of rejection, great query letter or no? I’m new at this, and am quickly gaining perspective.

Thanks for your writing and blog.

Dear CoCo:

I can actually relate to this because when I was an editor I was told on more than a few occasions that my pitch was better than the material. That said, your letter strikes me kind of coo-coo for Coconuts. There is only one conclusion to reach: Pull the book back and work on it. Should you write a less exciting cover letter? That’s like telling a girl with an C-cup that she should get a breast reduction. Your letter is completely seductive, your novel is not. Fix the freakin’ novel. If you don’t have a writers’ group, get one. Or hire a freelance editor. It’s not standard to get such a high rate of interest off a query letter (in fact it’s rare); don’t squander these opportunities. Geez, I’m dying to see the letter. But not the book.

Query letters: what are you doing wrong? What are you doing right?

BONUS: I will critique the first five query letters I receive in the “AskBetsy” box. I will post your letter and my response IF THAT IS OKAY WITH YOU. Or I will send you a private response.

Filed under: Agent, Authors, Protocol | 17 Comments »

Hello, It’s Me

Posted on April 15, 2010 by betsylerner

No more hiding behind email. When I have to have a talk, I’m picking up the god-damn phone. In the first place, you find out what the person is thinking, feeling, you can gauge their reaction. Plus you grow balls when you don’t sit there like big pussy typing out some apology or avoiding a confrontation.

I remember when I lived alone, about as lonely as you could be, and the phone would ring and I couldn’t answer. It was like breaking a seal. I became extremely phone phobic. Before the days of answering machines, I could stare down any motherfucking ringing phone. Then, ironically, I entered the work world as the receptionist at Morgan Stanley’s corporate library. Fourteen or so lines for every department. At first, I was freaked out. Then I got the hang of it. Later, there were days when I thought I was dancing on my console. (Of course a joint at lunch followed by three chipwiches might have been partly responsible.)

Fast forward to email and life behind the screen. This really gives writers an edge because they know how to manipulate through language. I could kiss myself for all the bullshit notes I’ve concocted. True beauties. And so, dear love, I must relinquish you as a tool for evil. I must pick up the phone and find my human chord. One of my clients has the best Boston accent which she lays on thick for me, another yawns when she lies, I can tell when another is high (again), and when one is depressed (again). Jim Carroll wheezed through his high Bronx accent and man do I miss the sound of his high, tinny voice.

Filed under: Authors, The End of the World as We Know It | 30 Comments »

I’ve Got a Bitter Pot of Je Ne Sais Quoi

Posted on March 31, 2010 by betsylerner

Driving to New Jersey, I passed a car with a bumper sticker that read: No Jesus No Peace. Know Jesus Know Peace.

In the car, I listened to the audio tape of Roberto Bolano’s masterpiece, 2666. Honestly, I wish I were driving to California because listening to that story was the most pleasurable encounter I have had with language in a long time (the bumper sticker notwithstanding). I am switching immediately to the book. The tape is wonderful, but it goes by too quickly. I think I was actually smiling while driving. (Which reminds me of a quote that cracked me up. When asked if he ever smiled, Don DeLillo replied, “Only when I’m alone.”)

The class, the students, the day, the spiel, the q, the a, it all went really well. One of the students looked like Topher Grace, which I consider a good thing.

And thanks for all the fashion advice. It didn’t help, of course. My idea of heels are Doc Martens.

Filed under: Authors | 9 Comments »

There’s Flies In the Kitchen

Posted on March 21, 2010 by betsylerner

In Miami over the weekend, I got together with Campbell McGrath. Campbell and I were in the same MFA program. The only difference is that when we attended, I was an amoeba and Campbell was a complex organism, at least where language was concerned. The guy was writing circles over everyone’s heads whether we wanted to admit it or not. Shortly after he graduated, his first book, Capitalism, was published. Over the years, he has produced eight volumes, a series of arresting and beautiful books.

I felt tremendous nostalgia visiting with him, Liz and their two awesome sons. Had it really been twenty five years ago since he casually sauntered around Dodge Hall, ripped bandanas tied around his wrist. Since we first witnessed the poems that would comprise his first book. Twenty five years since I took writing more seriously than anything else in the whole world. Twenty five years since I had no idea how things would turn out. For Campbell, there was clearly only one way. For me, well let’s just say my portfolio was more diversified.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m not in awe of that kind of resolve, intensity, passion, calling, instinct, single-mindedness, thrall, vision, what have you. People, when they find out I have an MFA in poetry, often ask why I stopped writing. The answer: because I did. I didn’t plan to, I didn’t expect to. If you told me then that I would have quit, I would have begged to differ. But I did. I stopped working at them, or I worked at it but didn’t get better or find satisfaction. And eventually I gave up. Don’t cry for me, Argentina.

What have you given up?

Filed under: Authors, MFA, Poetry | 31 Comments »

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Posted on March 18, 2010 by betsylerner

Last week a non-fiction proposal sold for a small fortune. Everyone was talking about it for a few days, the manuscript electronically zinging all over town. I wondered what would stop someone from publishing it electronically? It made me think of my first bootleg album, Patti Smith, of course. I loved how illicit it felt, the raw production values, the cheap cardboard sleeve it came in. Of course, it never occurred to me then that she was being cheated of her fair share of royalty. Now that I’m an agent I think about these things, especially as books are next.

What made this particular book so hotly contested? It’s controversial, for starters. Exhibitionistic even. And the idea at the heart of it is something that people are both curious about and invested in. The author also has what’s known as an impressive pedigree. But it’s more than that: whether or not you like what he has to say, he touches a chord. You have to touch a chord. Unfortunately for me, whenever I think of touching a chord, the next thing I think about is touching the third rail.

Who will your book appeal to? Does it touch a nerve?

Filed under: Authors, Publishing, Writing | 46 Comments »

Let’s Admit We Made a Mistake, But Can’t We Still Be Friends?

Posted on March 15, 2010 by betsylerner

Breaking up with clients, getting broken up with, none of it is easy. Egos wounded, hearts broken, tongues wagging, reputations flagging. Even when someone you hate fires you, it stings. Not that I would know. Even when you fire someone, you feel fucking awful. Especially when their next book goes on to sell for millions. But awful, too, if they don’t find a new agent. If they are, in publishing terms, homeless. Most people are pretty bad at parting company, even if both acknowledge that it’s better this way. Even if the writer desperately needs to be seen in a new light. Or if the agent no longer knows how to advance his or her career. Where are the boundaries?

Where are the boundaries after you’ve worked on five books with a writer, went to his mother’s funeral, lent him money for rehab, emailed every day during a six month depression, how do you say: it’s just business when it’s no longer working?

Is this messy business of writing and passion and rejection and ego and wit and fear and posturing and hoping and bluffing and talent and belief and love — is it ever “just business?”

Tell me, what is just business?

Filed under: Agent, Authors | 24 Comments »

Infinite Jest

Posted on March 9, 2010 by betsylerner

I know I was going to write about writing all week, but I have to share this link to the David Foster Wallace’s papers which were just acquired by the Harry Ransom Center of the University of Texas at Austin. I know it’s good that these papers are now part of an estimable collection, and that researchers and scholars have access to them. But if you just look at the few examples that are shown in the release, tell me if your heart doesn’t break. What can be more private, more intimate than the notes a man jots in the margins of his books, the words he circles in a dictionary? It’s strange, but I don’t have the same feeling about diaries; I think most writers hope that someday they are found and read. It’s as if they are written for an imaginary audience even if unconsciously. But there is something different about the papers — the manic marginalia, notes scrawled on every space of an inside jacket, drafts revised within an inch of their lives — this all feels too close. When a writer leaves behind a book, he has signed off on it. But the notes he leaves in the margins are a trail of brilliant crumbs. They are a living conversation. If you have moment, look through the pages the museum has displayed. I can’t think of anything more beautiful than a writer so deeply engaged in his work. I could weep.

Filed under: Authors | 8 Comments »

State of the Union

Posted on January 28, 2010 by betsylerner

Congratulations to Patti Smith. Just Kids hits the New York Times Bestseller List at #7

Front page New York Times Book Review to run this Sunday: “the most spellbinding and diverting portrait of funky-but-chic New York in the late ’60s and ’70s that any alumnus has committed to print. ..this enchanting book is a reminder that not all youthful vainglory is silly; sometimes it’s preparation. Few artists ever proved it like these two

Congratulations to Temple Grandin’s Animals Make Us Human hits the New York Times paperback bestseller list at #16.

HBO movie “Temple Grandin” airs on Saturday, February 6, 8 pm starring Claire Danes, Julia Ormond (exquisite), Catherine O’Hara and David Strathairn.

Congratulations to Dave Cullen on his Edgar Nomination in the non-fiction category for Columbine, and appearing on over 20 “Best of 2009” book lists.

This blog will return tomorrow to its regularly scheduled posting of mean-spirited, self-aggrandizing, attention mongering, publishing malcontentedness, and potty-mouthed bile to bring to those of us determined to write just a little less hope. But not today. Love, Betsy

Filed under: Authors, Bestseller, Books | 14 Comments »

Here’s Johnny

Posted on January 20, 2010 by betsylerner

Just Kids - Patti Smith - Ecco 1/19/10

NY Times review: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/18/books/18book.html

LA Times feature: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-patti-smith17-2010jan17,0,2564080.story

NY Post feature: http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/relics_of_punk_poet_a61CPcQkfCcp6IshzkCA8J

Chicago Tribune feature: http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/ct-ae-0117-patti-smith-20100115,0,2094777.story

San Francisco Chronicle lead review: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/01/15/RVQC1BH4ST.DTL

Boston Globe review: http://www.boston.com/ae/books/articles/2010/01/17/patti_smith_recalls_life_with_mapplethorpe_and_atop_new_york_art_scene/

Newsday: http://www.newsday.com/lifestyle/books/just-kids-by-patti-smith-1.1701826

Cleveland Plain Dealer review: http://www.cleveland.com/books/index.ssf/2010/01/in_her_memoir_just_kids_rocker.html

Bookforum.com: http://www.bookforum.com/review/4981

Filed under: Authors, Client | 10 Comments »

Once Upon a Time You Dressed So Fine

Posted on January 18, 2010 by betsylerner

Sales figures. When I was a young editor, a highly regarded literary agent sent me the second novel by a writer whose first I had loved. I was desperate to acquire it, but before my boss had even read a page, he quickly surmised the situation. The novelist’s first work hadn’t sold much and his publisher had passed on the book. He asked me to ask the agent for sales figures. She sneered at my request. I wasn’t allowed to bid on the book. And I never saw another project from the agent.

Fast forward. Today, all sales figures are available to publishers on Bookscan, which tracks approximately 70% of sales. Now, you can no longer fib about how many books you’ve sold the way you might fib about penis size, body weight, or SAT’s

Duh, a good track record is hugely helpful in providing leverage when you’re selling your next book or the one after that. But it’s not everything. I think of bad sales figures as a sand trap. If you can chip your way out you can stay in the game. The novelist I couldn’t acquire went on to win five literary prizes and was twice a finalist for the National Book Award.

How do you stay in the game, overcome sales figures, demons, financial insecurity, creative ebbs, night terrors?

Filed under: Authors, Publishing | 11 Comments »

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