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You Know That It Would Be Untrue



On three recent occasions, I was introduced as someone who is blunt. Blunt. I felt, well, blunted, insulted, my tender buttons pushed, my pride smooshed, hurt for being curt. I looked to my husband to deny, to smooth my feathers, to say oh dearest darling you are the opposite of Emily Blunt; you are gentle, refined, kind. Dear reader, he said I was blunt and not just blunt but super blunt, Upon seeing my crumbling face, he said he thought it was a compliment, high praise, blah blah blah. So maybe I am blunt. What the fuck is it to you?

Am I? You know, the b-word?

19 Responses

  1. You are. So am I. So what. Gets to the point faster. Then we can ride the Scrambler.

  2. Emily has nothing on you. I told a girl I admired she was such a bitch, once. She was offended. Her boyfriend had to point out to me I had just called her a bitch. I explained it was a conpliment. Take no shit not shy about her opinion. She still didn’t like it. But it’s a good thing! I hate wondering what people really mean while they slop around some politeness and tact. Such a waste of our finite time. It’s all in the intention. I think. Maybe. Well…

  3. Just used the word “blunt” today in a phone session with my shrink, so I’ve been thinking about the word. Congrats, Betsy, on being called blunt. Moi aussi. Years ago, in Stella Adler’s script interpretation class, Stella asked us what characteristic a certain character had. I raised my hand and said, “He’s honest.” Stella replied, “No dahling, he’s blunt.” Thought you might appreciate this tidbit from my NYU days….

  4. Yup.

    And that’s’ s a good thing. At least for me it was.

  5. Yes. But I think blunt people are protecting their sensitive little underbellies from getting hurt. Nothing wrong with that.

  6. I don’t really know because the interaction is here, and in cyberspace, a lot is lost or misinterpreted. I asked you a question once, and you told me it was too subjective, and to take a class. (you might not remember that, it was years ago) I didn’t see it as blunt. I saw it as direct.

    Gathering up all the synonyms of blunt, IMHO, there’s a difference in being told one is blunt rather than being told one is harsh, brusque, curt, terse, or brutal. Word choices.

    I’m still wondering why people would choose to intro you that way. I think I’d be rather miffed if someone did the equivalent to me…as in, “This is Donna Everhart, she’s a worry wart.” Since when did we start tagging on someone’s perceived persona during intros?

  7. Last week I was called crude by my beloved. I had muttered something pretty nasty about someone he tolerates but really should hate.

    Also, I self identify as a Bitch when those clipboard yielding snowflakes accost me on city streets, saying I look like a nice person. Um, no.

  8. “blunt (n) hollowed out cigar filled with marijuana”
    “Fire me up and smoke me, baby” would be one possible response, I mean, if you want to be blunt.

  9. I can’t say if you are blunt, because,as donnaeve points out, we have our cyberspace personas here in Betsyland. But I can say that you let it all hang out here; you probe, share, reveal, inquire, curse, revile. And we keep on coming back for more! Anyway, I tend to be way too solicitous (in real life); too courteous, too fucking nice. The “n” word. I could use a little blunt.

  10. nuttin’ wrong with blunt. it’s honest, to the point, time saver.

  11. “Am I? You know, the b-word?”

    I would never expect a New Yorker to be otherwise. It’s refreshing. In fact, I rely on it. Like an ice-cold Manhattan, thrown in the face. Bracing!

  12. To me, the more interesting question is why it bothers you to be thought of as blunt.

  13. Betsy, I find you blunt.Insightful, informative, hard working, sharing, caring,inspirational, funny, and very very cool, too. You don’t disguise spades as shovels, and don’t waste time dancing toward a point. You put time and words to work quickly, and move on.

    I had never thought of you as blunt until you brought it up, because there is so much more to you.

  14. yes. i wonder if, as a former direct person, peri/menopause has erased word recall and taken away any patience you have, creating a blunt person in her place? testosterone rising is a force.

    i say this with empathy not judgment.


  15. A bitch is capricious. I have beagles and I know.

    The class – be it dog or human – are defined by whim and emotion rather than discernible logic. They wag and howl and are over the hill despite rational calls of any sort. Their interest is solely for themselves. Their religion revolves around being cute and thus able to get any ride home and have no need of yours. They break your heart for no cause at all.

    You my dear are no dog. You have reason in your mayhem.

    Heartbreaker? Well, of course. You have a pulse.

    You just aren’t a capricious heartbreaker. There are reasons, Jules …

  16. Blunt is not the word that comes to mind. I think you have an honesty that comes from intensity. Not the same thing.

  17. The gap between how we see ourselves and how others see us is such an interesting space. Colleagues once called me a bulldog. I was crushed. But it turned out they saw this as an admirable trait as long as I was on their side, and knew what they were up against when I wasn’t. It saved us all a lot of time and hurt feelings.

    Hurt feelings suck up a lot of energy and time. If others see you as blunt, it serves as a useful filter. They don’t waste time being offended or hurt by what you say or write. It’s just Betsy being Betsy. They can move on to dealing with whatever the issue is deciding for themselves whether your point is valid or not without getting bent out of shape.

    Blunt Betsy, Bulldog Betsy, Betty-Boop Betsy–how others perceive us is useful information, not defining information.

  18. First of all, I would like to say that I was reading your old blog posts and got to the end of them, then found these and am overjoyed there are more! Second, to the “blunt” and other potential b-word descriptors. I don’t know you, but your blog posts are to the point, and I very much enjoy that about them. When I think of how I would like to speak when I am 80 (I am 48 now), I think I would prefer to be blunt. Then I think, why wait and waste all that time and breath until then? To the point is not a crime, and blunt doesn’t mean hurtful. I think it means telling it like it is.

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