Tina! Stop writing my book!
I decided to jerk off, er, I mean read my Amazon reviews. This one really popped: “The story of the bridge ladies probably could have been a better book, if someone else had written it.” I nominate James Joyce, James Patterson, and King James. Don’t mean to be facetious. Don Delillo, Jonathan Franzen, Susan Sontag. I actually think the book would have been a lot better if Tina Fey wrote it. Or Mindy Kalig, or Chelsea Hander. Are you there Bridge Mix, it’s me Betsy.
A long time ago, I read an interview with SPike Lee. HE was asked how felt abut getting bad reviews and he answered something like, That’s the price for getting in the game. I’ve shared his words with many clients and I live by them.
But back to speculating: who do you think should write your book?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Tina Fey |
Betsy Lerner 
Erma Bombeck, Phyllis Diller, Totie Fields.
They’re dead, I’m screwed.
Well, that pretty much explains me.
Carolynn, you are a hoot. Always.
Jim Harrison. Wait, he’s dead, too. And may he rest in peace.
I’ve always felt he should write my book because of a scene in “Wolf” (I think) where he’s going at it from behind with a woman in an alley after drinking and smoking an ungodly amount of hash. He comes and pops out, falls over backwards. I mean, I’ve been stoned, drunk and stupid a time or two and it made perfectly logical sense.
Who should write my book…damn, never thought about this.
Likely at this point, just about anybody else will do.
Lena Dunham. I’m too serious and she’d mix it up.
God. In dictation. (Hey, Oprah!)
I thought this was maybe the best question ever, but it doesn’t seem to have struck other people the same way. Not nearly as many answers as I expected.
The play that I’m stuck on should be written by Georges Feydeau, or maybe by Michael Frayn or Amy Freed, because it’s supposed to be a farce. The nonfiction piece that I’m dallying over should be written by John McPhee. The SF short story that I began last month and then set aside should by written by…maybe George Saunders, or Stanislaw Lem.
For any of those, I might accept God as a fallback option, an idea that I see JSF had before me. But I have to say (tongue in cheek, mind you!) that the last thing God is thought to have written has always seemed a bit of a hash to me.
Me.
I would suffer no one else to stoop so low to reach so high.
I would elect Edgar Allan Poe, Shirley Jackson, Stephen King, or Joyce Carol Oates–regardless of topic or length.