February | 2010 | Betsy Lerner

Word by Word

Posted on February 14, 2010 by betsylerner

I would like to talk about something that very few people talk about: skimming. Do you skim when you read? And if so, when? When you’re bored, when the section doesn’t interest you, when you just want to know what happened? And for how long? Just a few sentences, paragraphs, whole chapters? And do ever get anxious that you missed the one important detail that will explain everything in the end? Do you skim fiction and not non-fiction, or the other way around? Does everyone do it but no one admits it? Or are there purists out there? I remember when I found out my best friend in the third grade read the last paragraph of each book she read before she started it; I was shocked. Aren’t there laws against such things?

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She stood there bright as the sun on that california coast

Posted on February 11, 2010 by betsylerner

Home. Very happy to be home. It’s no secret that I always wanted to work in Hollywood, and that I’m still chewing on a screenplay (#4), etc. But the real secret is that I could kiss the tarmac at JFK and everyone I’ve ever met in publishing because when you find an editor who loves a manuscript and offers you an advance, a contract comes, and in a year or so a manuscript is completed and put into production, and eight or nine months later, an author holds a book in his hands that is the culmination of his creative dream. And people have a chance to read it.

When I was a young associate editor at Ballantine, one of the first novels I acquired got a million dollar movie deal — overnight. The author and I went to the Brasserie, ordered steaks and martinis to celebrate. When I got back to the office, I threw up in my garbage pail and passed out on the floor. Those were the days! Of course, nothing like that has ever happened since, and I’ve learned over the years how complex a process it is to get a movie off the ground. Complex is a euphemism for fucking mind fuck. Still, I love it, I love movies, and the level of difficulty only spurs me on . I’m cool with Hollywood breaking my heart; but does it have to shit on my face, too?

Filed under: Agent, Film | 16 Comments »

L.A. Confidential – Day 4 – The Dream Factory

Posted on February 11, 2010 by betsylerner

Last night in L.A., eating Thai take-out and watching episodes of 30 Rock on Hulu after a long day of meetings. The night before I met my kid sister for dinner. She’s casting her pilot and was having a hard time finding the right young woman for a certain role when I spotted a gorgeous young woman sitting on a banquet at 9:00. I told my sister to check her out and immediately she saw what I saw. We asked if she was an actress and, eureka! she was. My sister told her a little bit about the show and then then asked for the name of her agent, which she put in her blackberry. My sister’s casting director will call the young woman’s agent in the morning to set up an audition. Only in LA, kids, only in LA.

Star Meter: 0

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L.A. Confidential – Day 3 – “Let’s Chop It Up”

Posted on February 9, 2010 by betsylerner

Pitching the same projects over and over is a little like married sex — sometimes you have to work to keep it fresh. I find it’s best to ask a producer/manager/agent what they’re looking for before I start in. This way, you don’t start pitching a thriller, for example, only to find out they’re no longer producing thrillers, which at best is a buzz kill. I’ve also learned only to share two or three projects with a producer. When I started, I’d manically talk about everything I had as if my client list were a buffet table. It’s much better to talk about a couple of projects that might actually be right, like when a personal shopper suggests two suits out of the twenty she has because these are the two that will fit.

How much do you tip the guys who valet park your car? Is $2 bucks the going rate?

There is a salad at the Beverly Hills Hotel called the McArthur or McCarthy, and if I get executed and I get to pick my last meal, it will be this salad. They chop it so fine that you barely need to chew and I’m guessing that if you’re about to take the pipe, it might be hard to chew.

ALL anyone can talk about is how Dear John bumped Avatar off the #1 Box Office perch. NO ONE can believe this. And they all want to know if we have something like a Dear John on our list. I have a Dear Adolph. Does that count? How about Dear Sirhan Sirhan? Or Dear Ted Bundy. Oh, yeah, they’d also be interested in then next The Blind Side and The Hangover. Whatcha got people? I’m here, it’s now. Pitch your high concept movie here and earn big bucks!

One last thing: Lots of producers offices have chocolate at their reception desks. What is up with that? And how many pieces is it appropriate to take?

Star meter: 0

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L.A. Confidential – Day 2

Posted on February 8, 2010 by betsylerner

Last night, getting on to the Santa Monica Boulevard, I accidentally went over a divider. Cars behind me came to a screeching halt. I thought if I die now, I want everyone to know that deep inside this miserable wretch is a person who is happy and has been loved. The screeching was followed by a great deal of honking as traffic diverted around my rented Dodge Ram.

I would be lost without my GPS system. I am truly a menace on the road and it’s terrifying trying to get to meetings on time and then to park. Today, I blindly parked in a valet section and went away with the keys. For the first five minutes of every meeting, I have to sit on my hands to stop them from trembling. I also love it when the pretty assistant (and they are all pretty) asks, “Do you need to be validated?” Oh, honey, if you only knew.

Star Meter: 1 Josh Duhamel (does he even count?)

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L.A. Confidential – Day 1

Posted on February 7, 2010 by betsylerner

As some of you may know, I was “invited to leave” NYU’s Film School after my freshman year. I had some issues including sleeping through movies, but far worse apparently was my predilection for 180 degree pans in my end of year film, a biopic of my boyfriend.

As a result, I was shuttled into Washington Square College of Arts & Science. I still remember the parting words of my professor, “Why don’t you go away and read some books. Come back in twenty years and make your movies.”

It’s 31 years later and….Good morning Los Angeles! I’m here to try and sell book projects for film. Bringing a smile to my face are huge billboards everywhere of the HBO movie of Temple Grandin’s life. If I had a camera, I’d spin completely around so you could see everything. Tomorrow a.m. meeting on the Warner Lot with BDP (Big Deal Producer). FMD.

Star meter: 0

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That’s Not My Name

Posted on February 4, 2010 by betsylerner

Betsy I

When I was in college, a budding screenwriter invited me to join a literary soiree in the west village. This was not an NYU sanctioned club, this was an off-campus affair, and I felt very honored to be included. The woman who called us together seemed much older than the rest of us; she was sophisticated and world weary, a cross between Gertrude Stein and Vanessa Redgrave. When we were introduced, she made it eminently clear that the name “Betsy” would not do. And from that moment on, she called me Elizabeth (my real name). Elizabeth, she said, was a poet’s name.

When it came time to publish The Forest for the Trees, I wanted to use Elizabeth on the jacket. The few poems I had managed to place in literary magazines were under Elizabeth. My editor balked. Everyone knows you as Betsy, she said. But how many people could that be, I asked. She insisted. I recalled my junior year abroad when I tried to be known as Elizabeth and introduced myself as such. It was fine at first, but later when people called me Elizabeth I would sit as dumb as stone, completely forgetting that I had changed my name.

I’ve always wondered about writers who hid behind initials: TC Boyle, EE Cummings, TS Eliot, AJ Liebling, AA Milne, AM Holmes, just to name a few. What’s up with that. Maybe I should have tried it: ES Lerner. I actually kind of like that.

Betsy Taylor

Before I love and leave you: I’m going to LA next week to pimp my wares. I don’t have a laptop and don’t know how regularly I’m going to be able to blog. I may just have to ask Keanu to hop off his desktop for a few. I’ll do my best. Until then, wouldn’t it be very entertaining to compile the biggest list under the sun of authors who go by their initials? Whatcha got?

Betsy Gilbert

Betsy Barrett Browning

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My Analyst Told Me

Posted on February 3, 2010 by betsylerner

One of my writers once told me that she was seeing a psychiatrist who specialized in writer’s block. In hushed tones, she divulged the names of two fancy schmancy writers who were “cured.” I thought she should have head her examined, if you will.

More than a few writers have told me that they won’t go to therapy because they fear it will interfere with their creative process. This is a position I can’t understand. It may be because I’ve always felt that the “creative process” boiled down to two words: hard work. Who could mess with that?

I've always wanted to write a novel.

The big issue for me was always why I pursued my career in publishing from the moment I left graduate school until now, 25 years later. Most of my friends from my MFA program were taking jobs as waiters and bartenders to fund their writing. Some were traveling the world. I believe I was the only one who rolled on a pair of pantyhose the first Monday after graduation and showed up bright and early at Simon and Schuster. Editorial assistant Lerner, at your service!

I have some dark days when I wonder where I’d be if I put the energy I put into the authors into my own writing. But what I figured out (in therapy) is that I really thrive on my work, that the structure it provides is something I need. And that the actual work I do with writers, especially editing, gives me tremendous satisfaction. It’s a fantastic experience to commune with a writer on the page. For me, temperamentally, writing full time isn’t a good option. Did I need therapy to figure this out?

What say you? Any couch potatoes out there? Has it helped or hurt your writing?

Filed under: Writers, Writing | 28 Comments »

Killing Me Softly

Posted on February 2, 2010 by betsylerner

I used to compare a work in progress to a body on an operating table. If you keep working on it, you can keep it alive. If you leave it for too long, it goes cold. What happens then? When you’ve left the Play-doh outside the can? When you can’t find your way back into a piece. How long before there’s no pulse: a day? three? ten? a month?

What do you do when you lose your way? When your writing doesn’t recognize you, or you it? I’d like to think that work that doesn’t come to fruition is a form of practice. That everything you write need not come to completion, that there is still value in the practice. (I believe this on some level, but I’m also grossed out imparting such a positive world view which runs contrary to everything I believe about writing and life.) What I want to know is this: when do you resuscitate and when is it a DNR?

Filed under: Writing | 19 Comments »

Solid As a Rock

Posted on February 1, 2010 by betsylerner

"Before"

I have a mortifying confession to make. I’ve been doing a boot camp course at my gym for the last month. The first day the instructor showed up wearing all camouflage. This did not bode well. I was sporting one of my literary t-shirts from my vast collection from writers’ conferences I’ve attended over the years. The first two sessions, I went completely white, felt as if I were going to throw up, and saw a wall of white light I choose not to call god.

On Saturday, our young man had us working out on the machines. When he helped me, I noticed him looking at my chest. Now, I know I’ve got a great rack, but it didn’t compute. Then, his eyes got bigger as he focussed in on the faint writing on my shirt: Breadloaf Writers Conference. “Did you go to Breadloaf?” he asked, as if it were Oz. The punch line, of course, is that my boot camp trainer is an aspiring writer.

"After"

Normally, I groan upon making these discoveries. You can barely park your ass down on a plane without running into someone who thinks he’s the next Hemingway. I asked my trainer what he wanted to write about & I have to confess I loved his story. Being the consummate agent, I’ve negotiated a deal with my friend. We’ve set a goal of April 1 for me to lose ten pounds, for him to come up with twenty pages.

Does anyone want to get in on this action. Comment here on what you will accomplish by April 1 (pages or pounds) and we’ll all check back in. Gotta go finish my reps.

Filed under: Agent, Writers | 34 Comments »

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