True or false: the squeaky wheel gets the grease. I’ve been thinking about this lately. Some writers have no trouble asking for what they want and need. They are in your grill. Others nearly disappear themselves. Some authors send me a query letter and follow up a week later. One man this year wrote me every day pitching himself and the merits of his project. Some send a project and follow up many months later, hoping not to bother you. Why does it feel like the person who is too pushy can’t be a particularly good writer? Maybe because being a good writer requires a certain amount of emotional intelligence, sensitivity, communication skills. Then again, there are the Norman Mailers of the world. I’m just guessing, but I don’t think Mailer was shy about what getting what he wanted.
Sometimes I bristle when a client pushes me too hard, but then I tell myself that this is his job. If he can’t be ambitious about what he wants, who can. Other clients need me to be ambitious for them, to suggest the parameters of a dream, or look into my crystal ball. It’s extraordinary, really, watching how a writer’s ego, esteem, confidence, insecurities, and talent combine to help or hurt them as they put their work forward. Even after 25 years of working with writers, I marvel at how some can shout it from the mountaintops, while others barely whisper in your ear. How do you comport yourself as writer or author? Do you find you get what you need, and if so how? More bees with honey? The squeaky wheel?
Filed under: Authors, Protocol, Publishing |
Betsy Lerner 
I don’t think it’s about being a squeaky wheel. I think it’s about being a functional wheel. A good wheel. One that works better than other wheels. A honey-covered pretty darn awesome wheel.
There’s no replacement for professionalism, in any field. And you can’t leave a trail of broken relationships everywhere you’ve been. It’s always good to have friends.
Totes.
You can be pasionate about writing and still maintain and still be professional. I go out of my comford zone to promote myself as a writer because writing is important to me!
Sorry about the typo….
Fighting that quiet good girl every day.
Me too, and most days she kicks my ass. But that’s marriage for you.
Oh, wait. You meant something completely different.
Move over sister, I’m on that bus.
It’s all about balance.
I’m ambitious and impatient (aren’t we all?), but I know that if I badger my agent and editor it’s going to get me nowhere.
On the other hand, my career depends on a certain amount of aggression.
My solution is to mix it with charm and restraint. So yes, I’m the squeaky wheel when I need to be, but I try to make it sound like a song.
This is hard, especially when an agent writer this to you about your query. “since you spelled my name Carol instead of Carole, I am hardpressed to even consider your work.” Yes, check and re-check your emails, but lordy, this is a bit rough. Isn’t that true, Betsie Lerner?
they’re looking for any reason to pass on you–it’s just a matter of the height of the slush pile. I know it seems hard, but I think misspellng someone’s name is enough of a reason for them to say, “Next.”
Why do we assume that the pushy, “confident”, honey-covered awesome (squeee) person is more likely to be incompetent? Because our experience tells us so. And so does the research!
It comes down to metacognition – the ability to know what you know and how well you know it. Metacognition develops with skill; the more skill you have in an area, the better you are at judging whether you are any good at it AND the more you understand you have to learn.
In other words, the better you are at something the HUMBLER you get because you understand where the bar should actually be set.
So, actually, anyone who hires and fires on the basis of the catch-phrase which now seems to pervade society: “If you don’t believe in you, why should I believe in you?” is probably missing out on a BUNCH of more qualified people.
Here’s the study: http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp7761121.pdf
Obviously an author needs to be willing to not be a wallflower but this weird thing that is going in today’s society where people believe that “wanting it” enough and “believing in yourself” is ALL that’s required to get what they want is really screwing us up.
I blame 80’s films, from them we learned that we can master any skill within the space of a montage with a stirring power-pop soundtrack, but the part that takes up all the time is getting yourself “out there” (/jazz hands!)
Thanks so much for the post and the article. Fascinating. I could have had a V-8.
I was raised to make everyone happy and never to brag. Then I started trying to sell a book–and my job became one of asking for things people didn’t want to give me, and convincing them how great I was.
I agree about the metacognition: I think it is possible to know that one has written something excellent (and worth selling/buying), while at the same time being humble. But it’s a paradox, and a hard line to walk.
My brother-in-law, who is also a writer, told me when I was querying that I had to channel my inner P.T. Barnum. I think about that all the time and it has helped immeasurably.
One of the things I like about this blog is that it functions as sort of a daily group therapy session. But that’s all I have time to say at the moment because life’s duties are chasing me down. Gotta run.
Does this mean I can start charging?
Yeah, I love the group therapy session too. It’s many years since I was in one. In New York at least, I have found the “more bees with honey” to be a myth. This was definitely true in the acting world; my best results were when I stood up for myself. And this post actually inspired me to contact an agent who has been silent for 8 months on a requested manuscript. I sent a firm but polite email. We’ll see if he responds.
Do your job. Trust that the others you’ve been lucky enough to align yourself with know how to do theirs. Have manners and a sense of humor. Know your place and don’t act a fool.
I grease my wheels with shame and rage.
Jesus, take the wheel.
The business of art is oxymoronic. The person who is socially adept and creatively juiced is a rare. I show up for the boho dance because I want my work to live. It’s that simple.
Agents are the gatekeepers; we tremble before you all, oh great ones.
I think it’s important to be able to trust the people you are working with. If you can’t, then maybe you are working with the wrong people for you.
You have to convince a agent that you are worth their time and effort—so you have to believe in your novel because if you don’t how can a complete stranger? The problem is not becoming a demanding irritating so and so, or worse a egoistict high maintenance drama queen…
It’s cultural too. I heard an Australian fantasy writer with multiple books published in America tell us about how hard it is for her a reticent Australian to brag about herself, whereas her American counterparts she told us were quick to say how well they could do it.
Her impulse was to be humble and full of doubt but that did not suit her editor’s style one bit.
You are absolutely right, it is cultural and Australians and Brits have a hard time with the American self promotional style. It’s not that we don’t self-promote, we just do it very, very differently, without the brash, “I”m super!” or, worse “I’m the best!”
Really? The best? Okay, mate. Prove it.
In our culture humility is not seen as “being full of doubt”, it’s actually prized as a virtue. Thinking about it, we don’t really even have any positive words for the opposite: bragging; big-noting; self-aggrandizing…
I guess a note for anyone wanting to self-promote to Aussies or Brits: show don’t tell!
It’s just logical to us – we’ll give credit where it’s due but we’re not going to take your word on it – you’re biased!
Oh, and if you find yourself being interviewed in Australia and being told about things such as “drop bears”, or warned to check your hotel toilet seat for spiders or told that the interviewer had a pet kangaroo as a kid – you’re experiencing what we call “being taken down a peg”
OK, here is a squeek, albiet, a reluctant one. Somewhere in the slush pile there is an old-time agent query, including a complete non-fiction proposal for a unique weight loss book. Dig it out. You will enjoy reading it.
Oops. sorry for the “albeit” goof. “I’ before “e” except after “c” and in “neighbor” and “weigh” — and “albeit.”