I was contemplating a survey asking what books editors were ashamed of reading when, lo and behold, People had the very same idea. Kelly Ripa was ashamed of having read Sextrology, which is about what your sign means sexually — what you’re attracted to. She covered it with a magazine in the park so no one could see! Kelly, I’m a Leo, ’nuff said. (Friends, if you have a moment, click on the link and check out the authors’ names. I love life.)
Kathy Griffin (who I believe scored a 2 million dollar book deal?!?) says someone “gave” her L. Ron Hubbards’ Dianetics “as a joke.” Or not.
And Emily Deschanel (does anyone know who she is?) listens to new age, self help books on tape in the car. She says it’s embarrassing when the guy valet parking can hear the tape blasting, “You are so beautiful.” That’s funny, my self-help tape screams, “You fucking loser.” And the valet doesn’t give a shit.
I’ve been thinking about what books I’ve been embarrassed to be caught reading. Just today, at Urban Outfitters, I gravitated over to their highly merchy book table and picked up What’s Your Poo Telling You? And, like the last two times I picked it up, the page opened to a discussion on the difference between floaters and sinkers.
What crap are you reading?
Filed under: Books, The End of the World as We Know It, Uncategorized |
Betsy Lerner 
Flung aside Lorrie Moore’s latest to wallow in love murder a la Ann Rule’s Empty Promises, a collection of tawdry stories wherein girls who should know better marry killer dudes.
Okay. Here’s two books I was embarrassed to read in public.
1. Neil Strauss , The Game.
2. Donald L. Hilton, He Restoreth My Soul
Read crap all the time. Not so ashamed to say I write much of it too.
I always have several books going at the same time. Right now I’m reading:
Angla’s Ashes – Frank McCourt
Columbine – Dave Cullen
The Long Hard Road Out of Hell – Marilym Manson w/ Neil Strauss
Rum Punch – Elmore Leonard
Guess which one I DO NOT read in public?
Actually, I may have missed the mark on this assignment. I wouldn’t say that my two books were crap, just that I was embarassed to be reading them in public. I’ll have to ponder this a bit more.
I was embarrassed to read the Twilight books in public. But I just couldn’t help it.
I’ve been reading some really cool stuff right now:
The Trap by John Smelcer
A Summer of Kings by Han Nolan
Nothing to be embarrassed by at the moment.
Paul Greci
I was reading The Hunger Games while I waited on my mom to have an outpatient procedure, and a lady asked me if it was a new diet, like South Beach.
I wasn’t embarrassed, but she was.
Then I thought, do I look like I need to be on a diet?
Perfect (and hysterical) post because last night I ordered a book that I know I won’t read in public – because it’s written by a fictional character on a TV show. Heat Wave by Richard Castle — and even the Amazon author bio lists Richard Castle as a real person. I got a headache trying to figure it out – but think it’s marketing genius. This is the book the TV character is supposedly writing. And who can say no to Nathan Fillion’s Castle. I mean really. (Oh, sorry, I got sidetracked.)
I was also embarrassed to read Twilight, so I listened to the audiobooks. My cover was blown when I was out weeding the backyard, talking back to whiny Bella. (Along the lines of, “Shut the fuck up, Bella.”) My neighbor was standing in her yard staring at me.
Emily Deschanel – is Zoey Deschanel’s sister, and is one of the leads on the tv series Bones with David Boreanz (sp??)
What’s Your Poo Telling You? – seriously?? There’s a book about . . . poo??? Oh, my, I see the perfect Christmas gift for my sister! We’re all about trying to give the worst gift possible. I think this one’s a winner! Ah, the glory of winning.
Okay, I’ll admit I was embarassed to be caught reading Harry Potter back in the day. I’d always make sure to take off the book cover so people wouldn’t realize I was reading Harry Potter. Go figure.
S
Most of the crap I read tend to be real stinkers.
I could totally use some mind candy/crap at the moment. Fast-paced and funny. More satirical than just cynical.
I once took the entire “Flowers in the Attic” series on vacation and read every one on the beach. I guess I was trying to recapture my early teen years…
I also LOVED “The Dirt”, the Motley Crue biography. And I am not ashamed.
Other books I’ve considered reading in private are Marley & Me and The Shack. But I would never under any circumstances read either of those books in public. Maybe for $20. Ya, I’d read them in public for $20.
What wouldn’t you do in public for $20, dude?
I don’t think I would stand alongside southbound traffic on MLK Ave in Portland on Friday afternoons waving an anti-abortion picket sign that has a full-color mangled aborted fetus on it.
Linda Goodman’s “Sun Signs.” I have this book on my shelf, and occasionally consult it. As I also consult the Magic 8 ball, but I don’t actually believe what I find. It’s a stupid southern superstitious left-over from my grandparents. Or as I call it, a stupidstitious habit.
On the other hand, I do sometimes write paranormal fiction, and find the haunting past of being southern born to be quite an asset.
‘The Cocksure Guide to Penis Enlargement.’
“That’s funny, my self-help tape screams, ‘You fucking loser.'” Ha! Makes me think of of Barbara Ehrenreich’s recent excerpt (in Elle Magazine) about cults of positivity…. Sadly, I think my Netflix queue is way more embarrassing than my book collection.
Nothing embarrassing at the moment, though I was a little embarrassed to be caught reading Twilight on the stairmaster at the gym.