• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

Another Thing I Really Hate

I know, with the cinematic magic out there like The Hangover, The Proposal, and Year One, it’s no one’s fault but my own that I went to see My Sister’s Keeper.

So, I go up to the candy counter and order two small popcorns. The well meaning girl with a jagged part and tilted visor says brightly, “For twenty five cents more you could have a medium.” No thanks.

Then, I order a water and a small iced tea. “For fifty cents more,” she says, still upbeat, “You could have a large.”

What’s up with that? Why can’t I be trusted to know what size beverage or popcorn I want? How many people actually “upgrade” upon hearing of these tremendous savings?

Then, she asks me what movie I’m seeing. Why? For a quarter more could I run the fucking studio? For fifty cents more sit on Robert DeNiro’s lap?  For seventy-five cents more tell Hugh Grant that it’s really okay if he doesn’t want to star in my screenplay. I’m over it, really.

3 Responses

  1. For thirty-three cents more, maybe they’ll change the ending of the movie for you.

    So actually, they almost always talk me into the larger size. But I can’t really be trusted to know what I want.

  2. And they wonder why half of Americans are obese.

  3. A movie popcorn seller once told me that she would be fired by her manager if she did not try to upgrade EVERY sale. She told me she smiled brightly with each sales pitch so that she might overcome the desire to stab herself in the hand during every customer interaction.

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