• Forest for the Trees
  • THE FOREST FOR THE TREES is about writing, publishing and what makes writers tick. This blog is dedicated to the self loathing that afflicts most writers. A community of like-minded malcontents gather here. I post less frequently now, but hopefully with as much vitriol. Please join in! Gluttons for punishment can scroll through the archives.

    If I’ve learned one thing about writers, it’s this: we really are all alone. Thanks for reading. Love, Betsy

Turd by Turd

Here are some tips I was going to include in The Forest for the Trees until my editor reminded me I was not Anne Lamott. (Funny, in graduate school a professor told me I was not Fran Leibowitz. That BDP I mentioned earlier told me I wasn’t Woody Allen.)  Who the fuck am I? Anyway, here are some tips I dreamed up when my identity was still relatively secure:

  • Write your first draft in long hand.
  • Rewrite a famous story from the point of view of a minor character.
  • Rewrite a first person story in the third person.
  • Write a sonnet
  • Shower, dress, wear shoes that lace.
  • Do not show anyone your work until it’s in the third draft – at least.
  • Do not show your work to your mother, lover, or bff.
  • After you write something, leave it alone for as long as possible before you start revising.
  • Cut anything that bores you — be honest.
  • Use your dictionary.
  • Play Scrabble.
  • Go to a reading.
  • Write an editorial letter to F. Scott Fitzgerald about the structure in The Great Gatsby.
  • Write the same paragraph from three different points of view.
  • Write a character description without physical attributes.
  • Outline your book. Index cards for extra credit.
  • Clean your glasses with a soft cloth.

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