Reluctant rejecters are not all created equal. Some wait to see if a proposal or novel heats up before pursuing. It’s like the guy who only wants you once you’re with someone else.
Some really don’t know what they think, or they over think things, or they are made to feel insecure by their bosses. I’ve seen some ugly exchanges at editorial meetings back when I was an editor. I’d be reluctant, too, if my balls were cut off.
And then we have the editors who like to be nice and don’t like hurting other people (the fairer sex, I’m afraid to say, is more often guilty of this). They feel bad; hence reluctant. Fortunately for them, god invented e-mail. They also subscribe to the old saw, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.
A powerful agent from one of the big shops once said that there is no point in being nice when turning down a project — it doesn’t help the writer.
If anyone ever comments here, I would love to know what you think of that sentiment. Are writers better off knowing what editors really think?
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Betsy Lerner 
Are writers better off knowing what editors really think? I would say no, UNLESS everyone’s thinking the same thing and it’s something that’s fixable and can make a difference. If you had a girlfriend with a fabulous figure, charming personality, and a big ole’ ugly hairy mole on her lip, does it really serve her to say, “He probably didn’t call back because he’s really busy….”? Wouldn’t you (and she) be better off if you just said, “Girl, please get that thing removed so we can all stop pretending you just need a better wing man.” If something isn’t fixable (the writer’s life story just isn’t that interesting, the book is exhaustively researched but completely irrelevant), the writer might need to have a sit-down about the realities of the market and their future. Either way, it’s still just someone’s opinion – it’s the writer’s prerogative to accept or reject it as valid.
If it helps me become a better writer, sure. I want to grow and be stretched. How else can I do that with out total honesty.